


Stargazer

by Nozofist



Series: Stargazer [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bullying, Class President Alphinaud, Delinquent Estinien, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gang Violence, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Lyse Hext/Alisaie Leveilleur, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Vice President Y’shtola
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2020-07-31 18:54:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 55,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20120005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nozofist/pseuds/Nozofist
Summary: High School can be a trying time, especially for poor Alphinaud, who, despite being a very good student, struggles to fit in given his off-putting personality and sexuality. Plus, It doesn’t help that he’s also class president to his peers that already don’t like him. But with the little support he has, he should be fine, right? Yes! He’d be absolutely fine!Until Y’shtola pisses off the school’s token delinquent, Estinien, making matters worse as he now sets his eyes on them.However, what seems to spell the end for Alphinaud turns into something else—as he discovers something deeper to Estinien. Despite the fire and violence surrounding the troubled youth, Alphinaud finds himself reaching out to him in an attempt to save him. Will Alphinaud be able to traverse the hell Estinien’s trapped himself in, or will he perish for nothing?One thing’s for certain: Alphinaud won’t stand to let Estinien’s clouded eyes gaze at the ashes of his destruction—not when the heavens above brightly shine for him.





	1. Descent

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I’ve ever published on this site—and it’s also a little comeback for me after a long a hiatus from writing. Please bear with me as I’m a little rusty, but I’m definitely so happy to be writing again! Enjoy!

“And with that, this meeting is adjourned.”

The members of student council packed their belongings and rushed out as Alphinaud took a moment to recollect himself after that meeting. However, as fate would have it, he found himself hunched over on the table, sighing quite loudly.

“You know full well fishing for compliments is futile.” Y’shtola said as she retook her seat next to Alphinaud.

“They don’t like me. I knew this was a mista—“

“_Don’t_.” Y’shtola began, “It went fine. You did what was required of you. I had no doubt in my mind that you’d undertake your role and perform it admirably. You displayed your leadership skills well.”

“Spare me. They barely listened to what I had to say—I felt their frustrations at me. They tuned in when you spoke, Y’shtola. It’s you they wanted as President.” Alphinaud vented as he rested his head into his hands, fighting back unsightly tears. Y’shtola sighed as she placed a hand on the shorter male’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze of reassurance.

“I can’t stand crybabies, Alphinaud. This isn’t who you are and you know it. Enough with this self-degrading attitude, it doesn’t suit you well. Either you suck it up and embrace your position or I’ll beat this inner saboteur out of you until you do.” Y’shtola finished as she stood up, collecting her bag, “let’s go, there’s this new shop at the mall that’s caught my fancy and I’d like to indulge myself.”

Alphinaud gave in and swallowed his frustrations, composing himself a few moments later. As he stood up he looked at his best friend, her teal eyes hard as she looked at him until they softened with her smile. Alphinaud had a redetermined look on him that Y’shtola knew all too well. This was the Alphinaud she knew, the one who would always rise above and prove others, and most importantly himself, wrong.

“Thank you 'Shtola.” Alphinaud whispered as he took his bag and began to lead the way out. “Also, you have to give me more credit. I believe you did inevitably compliment me on my—“

He never got to finish his point, as he was unbalanced by a potent smack from the white-haired girl.

* * *

Alphinaud found himself alone as he made his way out the school. Y’shtola had left behind one of her books, so she told—more like ordered—Alphinaud to go on ahead. He looked up and took in the sight of his school, Seventh Dawn High, the place where he was voted class president. In truth, he didn’t think he’d get the position—after all, he felt he was a nobody and people always thought he was uptight and a teacher’s pet simply because he was at the top of his class. He was a smart boy, and smart enough to know that running for President wouldn’t work in his favor—that he’d lose miserably and would just be making a fool out of himself. But a part of him did dream of it, and it was his mistake to even hint at it towards Y’shtola. One side comment on the matter and in a moment he found himself dragged into an election campaign, with him running as president and his best friend as his vice. He was so angry with her! But Y’shtola promised him that it was the right thing to do—that he deserved it more than anybody else at the school. For a while he believed in that, but the whispers heard in the halls of Seventh Dawn brought him back into reality.

_What’s Y’shtola doing with that loser? _

_‘Alphonse?’ Who is he?_

_A fag running for President?! I have to laugh at that!_

_No one’s gonna vote for him. But Y’shtola cool, so I dunno.…_

_ Why doesn’t Y’shtola run as President with someone else? She’d be amazing!_

The only reason he was standing where he was—the only reason he became president—was because of Y’shtola. She was so popular, all the girls wanted to be her best friend—wanted to be her—and all the boys wanted to date her. Everyone knew of her intelligence, of her unparalleled sass and humor, and cool demeanor, yet, she chose to be with him, to be his friend, his closest confidant, and a loyal companion. He genuinely loved her, and was so grateful to just be associated with her, but he knew she deserved more—after all, who’d want to be associated with this sad loser?

Alphinaud sighed out loud as these thoughts swirled in his head. Y’shtola did always say he had a tendency to overthink things and find a way to make things infinitely harder on himself. Before he could spiral down another rabbit hole of self-deprecation, he spotted a figure leaning against the walls of the gate outside, a little down from where he stood. He made out the school’s uniform, so he was a student, and upon closer inspection came to the conclusion at it was none other than Estinien—who, to no one’s surprise, was smoking a cigarette.

Now, Estinien was what one calls ‘a bad boy.’ He neglects his assignments, cuts class, and gets into fights—an all-round rule-breaker. He’s infamous for being Seventh Dawn’s token delinquent who, somehow, is still enrolled. He’s also known to have run-ins with the notorious Nidhogg Gang—an awful group terrorizing their city and neighboring towns. Alphinaud’s usually not one one to gossip, but apparently he used to be buddies with the leader of the gang, but had a falling out with him, leaving him with a gigantic target on his back. However, some of the members sided with Estinien, which caused even more internal strife within the gang, indirectly leading to innocent bystanders getting caught up in their conflict, with crimes happening more frequently as of late.

Despite knowing all this, Alphinaud, being the self-sabotaging nuisance he knew himself to be, has the biggest crush on Estinien. When he first laid eyes on the delinquent he knew he had an undeniable attraction to the young man, one that propelled him to stare at Estinien as he waited there for Y’shtola. Trapped in his enamor, Estinien glanced at the small boy, catching Alphinaud gawking over him. Immediately, he saw his blue eyes widen as he fumbled to turn away, tensing up as he continued to stand there awkwardly. Estinien paid him no mind after that, guessing that he was just uncomfortable being around someone like him. The tension lingered in the air, and Alphinaud found himself holding his breath the entire time, refusing to breathe as a sign of his weakness. Luckily, salvation came in the form of Y’shtola, who finally exited the school and made her way to Alphinaud with a gift box in hand.

“My apologies, I was taken by quite a surprise.” Y’shtola explained, showing Alphinaud the box and it’s contents: chocolates, with little rose petals decorating the bottom.

“I see… your suitors haven’t given up, eh?” Alphinaud began to jest.

“Unfortunately no…” Y’shtola sighed, “my precious little poet wrote me another one of his masterpieces.”

“How wonderful! What’d he write this time?” Alphinaud asked. He found joy in how Y’shtola’s admirers went about getting her attention—and, more specifically, how she constantly dumps them. The Poet, as they have coined him, writes Y’shtola little love letters and poems about how he wishes to be with her—how beautiful, strong, and dazzling she is—and just how lucky he’d be to even chance her attention. But, he’s never left any indication on his identity, so they made it a little game to pinpoint who he could be.

“I couldn’t tell you. I threw it out before I could read about my beautiful soul glimmering within my eyes or what not. I saved you the chocolates, though.” Y’shtola said as she began to turn, “come, the mall awaits!”

Y’shtola began to lead the duo as they walked past Estinien, with Alphinaud chancing a look at the delinquent, who had just put out his cigarette and was on his phone. Alphinaud found himself bumping into Y’shtola, who came to an abrupt stop. She cleared her throat.

“I would expect you to know the basic rules of our school, considering the habitual manner in which you break them. Smoking and loitering are prohibited around the premise, and I would ask you never to repeat these transgressions if you’d know what’s good for you. Considering it’s after hours and you are technically outside the school, I shall let it slide. But next time, I will have you expelled for good.”

A deathly silence followed suit. Alphinaud stared at the back of his friend’s head, his heart beating loudly as the tension weighed heavy on him, not believing that she would actually engage Estinien—to actually threaten him. Alphinaud turned to look at Estinien, who stopped mid-press on his cellular. He placed his phone away, and kept his hands in his pocket as he straightened up and leaned back, smirking.

“Noted. Although I’d _very much_ like to see you try.” He spoke deeply, his dry, yet, smug attitude permeating from those simply words. They did something to Alphinaud, fear mixed with awe at how menacing such a simple phrase could be—the power etched within each word as he guaranteed rising to the challenge if needed. Again, poor Alphinaud was gobsmacked by the man, looking at Estinien in disbelief, who was glaring at Y’shtola before cocking his head, looking directly at Alphinaud. He gave a small smirk and winked at the flustered boy, which made him shudder as he stared at Estinien, completely entrapped by his gaze. He felt himself coiled by the man’s eyes, the sheer force of his will holding him in place, weighing him down with no means of escape. He was sinking, and he foolishly let himself...

“Hmph. Threatened, are we?” Y’shtola retorted, before turning to Alphinaud, who was still visibly very frightened, “come. Let us finally be off.”

Alphinaud snapped out of Estinien’s dreadful trance, fumbling behind his best friend as they left the delinquent behind. He heard Estinien grumble something—most likely a promise to make their lives even more miserable from now on. In just that short encounter, Alphinaud felt winded—never has he felt such fear in his life, with the realization that Y’shtola had just put marks on their backs, and a very willing Estinien who yearned for more target practice.

Despite his loss of breath, he had quite the words for his dear friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 1! I hope you enjoyed it. Any and all feedback is welcomed! Thanks!
> 
> ~ Nozo


	2. Perdition I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally meant to be one chapter but I wrote too much so it had to be split. Expect part 2 soon! I also apologize for the wait I promise some of the !action! *romance* and ~drama~ will come soon! Since this is in a modern setting and non-canon I have to give some context to how the characters are in this world.

"Oh! So the lost boy's come!"

"Enough, Alisaie." Alphinaud groaned as he entered his home—his twin spread out on the sofa, mindlessly staring at the TV.

Between the two, the brass girl was the most popular and well-liked. Despite being twins, they are complete opposites: where Alphinaud has the brains and exceeds in academics, Alisaie has the brawn, her athletics compared to no other female—and most males. Where Alphinaud was class president (albeit, against his, and many others, will), Alisaie was the star player in Seventh Dawn's female lacrosse team, constantly guiding them to victory, gaining popularity and the admiration of many students. Beyond the playing field, however, her charming and reckless personality was also well received, raising her status within the school's hierarchy. Despite this, she had very few people she could call friends and was quite the recluse in her free time, her best friends consisting of Lyse and Urianger.

"Enough of what? I was struck with worry over where my wayward brother could have gone. Given your luck and all the gang activity as of late, I'd thought you crossed one of their paths." Alisaie began, striking a chord in her brother, who went through another round of thoughts surrounding Estinien and his _very_ clear threat, "And you know, Alphinaud, they've made it a habit of drowning victims too—"

"Shut it, Alisaie!" the boy said, his cheeks flaring pink against his pale skin. By this point, he would have pounced on his sister, despite his feeble strength compared to her. Alas, he couldn't, given her current physical state: a broken arm. Though a simple fracture, Alisaie had to wear a cast, directly taking her out of any games for the coming weeks, with their grandfather, who's currently away at such an inopportune time, bidding her to remain at home to rest so it can heal faster. "I was with Y'shtola—she dragged me to a new shop at the mall. She proceeded to get into a quarrel with one of the staffers, which erupted to include the manager, whom I had to protect from her unbridled fury, and drag her out before she did something she would've regretted. To the very least, we're permanently banned from there. I brought you some leftover chocolates, by the way."

"Ooh! How exciting!" Alisaie exclaimed, waiting for her brother to give her said chocolates in a _very_ romantic box, to which Alphinaud shrugged off. "Urianger stopped by, he made us dinner. Also, did you see Lyse today? How was she? Did she ask about me?"

"Why ask me? I'm pretty sure you could ask your _girlfriend_ yourself." Now it was Alisaie's time to turn pink in embarrassment, instinctively resorting to violence by throwing the sofa's pillows with her good arm at Alphinaud who dodged them as gracefully as he could, laughing as his twin shouted verbal nonsense insisting that they're nothing of the sort.

Beyond their differences, they were both Leveilleurs and shared a commonality consisting of their high sense of ego and shame, which were prominent when it came to romance. Alisaie was _very much _enamored by Lyse, and the two made very romantic advances at each other, but neither discerned the true meanings behind their subtle actions. At first, Alphinaud suspected Alisaie had feelings for Urianger, whose family had been close associates to the Leveilleurs, with Urianger akin to an older sibling to the twins. Yet, Alisaie was the more attached of the two, and, much like when their grandfather would return for his short breaks, she would follow Urianger like a baby chick. Alphinaud's suspicions were disproven the day (he'd very much like to forget) Alisaie confronted him about his sexuality. He was blindsided by his sister's advancement and denied it to the high heavens until Alisaie revealed she had been reading his diary, where he vented his frustrations over his budding sexuality and his 'unknown' feelings. Never has he felt more embarrassed, angry, sad, and relieved at one time in his life. In those moments, everything he bottled up inside flooded out, and he broke down in front of his sister, who swooped in to comfort him, assuring him he was still loved and supported. Once he settled down, much to his surprise, Alisaie let him privy to similar feelings she had and admitted she believed she has an attraction to the fairer sex. Never had the twins connected in such a way, and since then had been closer and freer around the other. Eventually, however, Alphinaud had unleashed his anger over Alisaie reading his private thoughts at a later date, resorting to keeping it in a small safe he purchased and hiding the key, and pestering her about her past atrocity to this day.

Truthfully, the Leveilleur twins are special and quite unlike others.

* * *

Days passed, and Alphinaud continued his school days as per usual, with nothing major happening. He had forgotten all about Estinien and succumbed to the his days feeling like a dream. One day, however, a fight broke out, and, to absolutely no one's surprise, Estinien was involved—he even started it! In his mind, he recalled just how destructive Estinien was, and he felt the fear slowly crawl upon him, but in the same thought, he figured since Estinien was busy beating other people up, he had completely forgotten and him and Y'shtola. But, as the fates would have it, Alphinaud found himself dragged to the principal's office by his best friend, who demanded Estinien's immediate expulsion. Principal Minfilia Warde, the loving and benevolent principal at Seventh Dawn, bid Y'shtola to calm down and told the two to take a seat, which they did until Y'shtola lost her temper once again and stood up, raising her voice.

"How many times will you allow this delinquent to squander and disrespect our school and its reputation!? It's dignity!? He’s like an unchecked cancer—one that needs to be removed posthaste!"

"Now, now, Y'shtola, please lower your voice. That is absolutely no way for you to talk about a peer of yours—"

"_He is no peer of mine._"

"Y'shtola." Principal Warde firmly said, grabbing the girl's attention. "I understand your frustrations, I genuinely do. But Estinien has been through much in his short life, and he has troubles that need to be addressed in special ways. You'd understand full well if you knew him—the _real_ Estinien."

"How many second chances must we give him before he inevitably brings the fires of his chaotic life into our school and _burns_ it down." Y'shtola spat out, causing Alphinaud to shudder at the venom in her voice before she continued, "Skipping classes and neglecting his responsibilities are forgivable, sure, but when he lashes out and harms another student? When he loiters and smokes on school premises? He needs to be removed before he starts influencing other students more than he already has—I've heard he has quite the following outside, and we cannot let someone like that remain here. As Vice President, backed by our President, I demand Estinien's immediate expulsion."

Y'shtola finished her tirade, breathing heavily as she looked at her principal, her eyes wide with the passion and anger packed within her. Minfilia sighed, looking at Y'shtola with soft eyes before smiling, sitting back into her chair.

"It warms me to know that our students have chosen two people with such love and devotion to my school. But this institution was made so that all kids—no matter who they are and where they come from—may succeed. I haven't given up on Estinien, and I won't—"

"Miss—"

"You speak without knowing all the facts, and of _who_ you speak of. Unmistakably, you refuse to listen to my reasoning and have given up on someone because of your ignorances. Therefore, I must make you understand, even if just a tiny bit." Minfilia spoke in such an authoritative tone new to Alphinaud, before reaching for the office phone, ringing her assistant, "Please tell Estinien to enter my office."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> ~Nozo


	3. Perdition II

Never has Alphinaud looked—or felt—so much like a ghost: his pale face disheveled and marked by disbelief as he sat there in Minfilia's office, sandwiched between a very vexed Y'shtola and Estinien glaring at each other as the Principal spoke. Though Alphinaud listened, he felt tuned out of reality. Minfilia was known for her big heart and generosity, explaining why Estinien was still here despite all his transgressions. Minfilia did, in fact, have a soft spot for Estinien, knowing the reasons behind his actions and the source of his anger. As much as she wanted to tell others so they'd understand the boy and empathize with him, she knew she couldn't, choosing to keep the truth to herself. Minfilia only told his professors a watered-down version of it, trying to help Estinien as much as he allowed her to. Estinien was aware she knew, which made things worse as he felt pitied and judged by her, urging him to resist more. He wanted to leave—he knew he didn't belong and that the school would be better without him, but his older brother kept him there. As much as he tried, there was no escaping it, not with the way things are.

* * *

Alphinaud and Y'shtola were allowed to leave before Estinien, both in such opposing states in response to what transpired in Minfilia's office. Alphinaud did not speak a single word the entire time—except maybe for a "yes ma'am" here and there—and left with his face drained of all life, his brain struggling to catch up to what transpired. Y'shtola, on the other hand, was fuming, Alphinaud feeling the fires of her rage engulf him, too shocked to run from her in fear. She simply told Alphinaud that she would send word to the council members that today's meeting would be canceled and rescheduled for another time before departing, Alphinaud slowly following her footsteps as she disappeared, deciding to go home. Finally, his brain caught up, and Minfilia's words hit him in full force.

_Estinien, you know Alphinaud and Y'shtola, I presume? They're our elected president and vice president, and they seem inclined to have you expelled. However, their ignorances revealed themselves as I tried to explain the situation to them, and I simply cannot stand by that. Therefore, I ask that the three of you become acquainted—this is not up for discussion! Be quiet, the two of you. Ahem. As punishment, the three of you will spend time together during study halls and break periods. I think all parties will benefit from this, no? That was a rhetorical question, Y'shtola. We shall clear this up soon, and hopefully, new bonds can be made from this! I've called your elder brother, Estinien, he shall be here soon. With that, Alphinaud and Y'shtola, you two are dismissed._

Alphinaud was an anxious person, and after a hazy walk home, he managed to arrive safe and sound to Alisaie, whom he walked past without even acknowledging her, locking himself in his room, full panic settling in.

His end had come.

* * *

Alphinaud felt his days were numbered. What once were his menial, routinely days became a labyrinth as he struggled to escape from his bullies—and Estinien himself. He felt like a helpless animal, trapped as his predator stalked over him. Salvation came in the form of what little friends he had, as Estinien and his crowd seemed to cease their attacks, even when Y'shtola was with him. But when he was alone, it was open season, and Estinien and his cronies were more than happy to hunt. It started with swift pushes and foot sweeps that would cause Alphinaud to fall on his face, completely plastering himself to the floor in front of passing students in the halls. Estinien’s ‘friends’ would shove him as they walked past and make some nasty remarks at him, and began leaving him some very... _unpleasant_ surprises in his locker as well as taking his papers and books, having the poor boy scavenge them if he was lucky enough to find them. Y'shtola was faring better than him, Estinien seemingly avoiding her as much as he could, choosing to terrorize Alphinaud in her stead. It’s gotten to the point where Y’shtola would make very snarky remarks to him as a means to egg him on, yielding very little success in baiting out any sort of reaction from him.

"Hmm. I can't understand why our newest friend is bullying you and not me." Y'shtola asked as she sat with Alphinaud in the cafeteria, "could he truly be threatened by me? Ha!"

"Probably, you're _definitely_ someone he wouldn't want to piss off any more than necessary." Alphinaud spoke, continuing to down his lunch. 

"Mm... As reasonable as it seems, he did say he would happily face me should I challenge him, and by the gods have I made my intent clear. My jabs at him visibly trigger him, but he relents in giving a proper response." Y'shtola responded, tapping her fist against her cheek as she closed her eyes deep in thought.

"If I may," A voice spoke, and the duo looked up to see Urianger standing over them, the tall boy looking at them as we wore his rather distinctive goggles, "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. It would seem that this incarnation of pure evil continues to plague little Alphinaud, yet, hesitates to deliver his revenge to the woman who triggered the first shot of war."

Alphinaud and Y'shtola rolled their eyes at Urianger's dramatics, beckoning him to sit with him, which he humbly obliged. Now, if Alphinaud was considered a nobody by his peers, Urianger didn't exist in their eyes. He's known as the tall weirdo who wears goggles indoors and speaks too much and too intricately, but silent as a grave when not engaged. He's extremely smart—almost rivaling Alphinaud—and is always seen with a book. His proclivity for both modern and ancient vernacular is a by-product of his love of reading, leaving him with every word he speaks exaggerated, with a sly riddle or beautiful lyric thrown in occasionally. People often forget and ignore him, and he acts blind to their looks and deaf to their whispers, seemingly unaware of what goes on around him, but Alphinaud knows that's not true. Urianger probably knows more about this school and the people within it better than anybody else, but keeps it to himself. He doesn't mind being an outcast—satisfied with the friends he has and the peace that comes with his isolation. Alphinaud can't help but be a little envious at how free Urianger is from the social hierarchy.

"The conclusion my third eye has conjured in response to this enigma," Urianger began, "is that this antagonist of yours... is infatuated by your being, dear Y'shtola.

There was a deathly silence once Urianger had finished his thought, followed by a sound new to Alphinaud's ears. Never has Y'shtola laughed so loudly—so ardently—in the way she was now. Students within the cafeteria snapped their necks to find the source of laughter, their eyes widening in disbelief as Y'shtola began turning red as she continued her laughing fit, uselessly covering her mouth to lessen her volume. Urianger sat firm, whereas Alphinaud joined his peers in looking at Y'shtola as a madwoman. Once she calmed down, she waved away onlookers, who turned back around and resumed their business.

"Hilarious as always, Urianger. But I would sooner believe Estinien is in love with sweet Alphinaud than I." Y'shtola exclaimed, causing Alphinaud to spit up his drink, looking at her incredulously, his face turning pink.

"I-I would ask you NOT to make such jokes!" Alphinaud said in a high pitch, coughing as he recomposed himself, "also, Urianger, how come you aren't with Alisaie right now? You always accompany her to the infirmary during our break."

"I was tasked with delivering her meal, yes, and when I arrived, Lyse was in her company. Thus, did Alisaie bid me away. I, following her word, returned here and thought to join you two." Urianger answered, turning back to Y'shtola, "Moving past my unexpectedly comedic suggestion, I've come up with another answer to Estinien's nonsensical behavior: perhaps he's been prohibited to lay a finger on your person, Y'shtola. It may not seem so at first glance, but given Estinien's following in the institution, and your level of popularity, I would not be surprised if many vocalized their grievances to harming you."

"Mm... seems probable, unless your mind can produce another explanation?" Y'shtola asked, Urianger shaking his head, "well, either way, Alphinaud is being bullied far more than he needs to be, and given this newfound chance that I may be able to influence Estinien without harm, I‘ll make sure he answers to this."

"Y'shtola... please don't fight my battles. I'm fine, I am—I-I'm used to it. I don't want you to interact with him more than necessary." Alphinaud spoke out as his friend began to rise, Urianger following her motion.

Y'shtola's teal eyes softened as she looked at her friend, "Oh Alphinaud... this is our battle. I've fought worse demons before Estinien, and he certainly won’t be the last. Don’t worry about me—you know full well I am not one to sit back and let you take blows intended for me."

* * *

The trio left the cafeteria before the bell rang, Y’shtola leading them to her locker only to find the very person they spoke of in the heat of an argument with another boy. 

“You promised you wouldn’t lay a finger on her!”

“And I won’t—but I can’t let that woman get it in her head that she has something over me. If she thinks she can walk over me, well, that condescending bitch has another thing coming—“

“Don’t you _dare_ call her that!”

“Or what, Thancred?” Estinien spat as he closed the gap between him and the boy—Thancred—who threw something, a box, it seems, as he met Estinien’s intensity with his own. Alphinaud’s nerves got the best of him as he felt himself shake at witnessing the scene before him slowly escalate to a full-blown fight as Urianger tensed up. Y’shtola, on the other hand, cleared her throat at the two boys ahead just as Estinien grabbed the front of Thancred’s shirt, preparing to strike.

“I’d ask that the two of you would not loiter around here and take this fight elsewhere. After all, _this condescending bitch_ needs her locker at the moment.”

The two boys turned instantaneously, Estinien narrowing his eyes at the trio as Thancred fumbled away from Estinien, eyes wide before composing himself. 

“Hmph. How ironic—the girl I just wanted to see.” Estinien said smoothly, squaring his shoulders as he met Y’shtola’s gaze. 

“Indeed. It would seem the fates were listening, as I’ve some business with you.” Y’shtola followed up, glancing at Thancred, who shuddered a little at the eye contact, “Your resentment towards me is evident—and trust me, the feeling is mutual—but why subjugate Alphinaud to the wrath reserved for me? Surely it isn’t because I’m a woman, unless underneath this delinquency lies a gentleman extraordinaire?” 

Estinien closed his eyes and grinned, looking haunting beautiful as his hair moved when he turned his head to look at Thancred, “Care to explain?”

Thancred glared at Estinien before looking at Y’shtola, who stared intensely, causing the boy to look at Alphinaud and Urianger, who were curiously staring at him, causing him to hesitate and redden.

“I-I... well...” Thancred began, clearing his throat before continuing, only for the bell to ring loudly through the halls of Seventh Dawn, signaling the transition of classes. 

The other four looked up and around as the halls became flooded with students leaving their classes, which Thancred happily took as an opportunity to slip away before they could notice. He felt cornered and knew he had to get away before he made a very awkward confession in front of them. When they finally noticed, the trio looked at Estinien, who shrugged then moved closer to them. 

“You’re right, I won’t lay a finger on you because I don’t have to,” he spoke as fixed a loose hair in Y’shtola’s bangs, who simply glared back but refused to wince, “_I’d much rather hurt something you deeply care about and break it before your eyes_.”

He looked at Alphinaud who mindlessly stared back at him, his eyes wide open as they took in Estinien, the trapped feeling he had that day outside of Seventh Dawn returning. Alphinaud lost his hearing, washing out the sounds of students walking past him and whatever Y’shtola said back to Estinien, barely missing the delinquent walking away as he felt his world collapse around him. Luckily, Urianger had been watching him, and swiftly caught the small boy as he fainted. 

Alphinaud was right, his end had come. It’s deliverance, however, wouldn’t be as swift as he’d imagine—no, the path to his inevitable demise would be a long and punishing one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy did I not think this chapter would get posted any time soon. Things came up so I had to postpone the chapter until I found time to finish, revise, and post it—but at least I did it! I’m sorry for delaying it :^( but in better news I finished leveling dancer so that’s fun. Hope you enjoyed!


	4. North Star I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in the deepest pits of Hell, the smallest light shines like a star. Trapped within the throes of suffering, a North Star shall be a guide, no matter how faint it glimmers.

“P-Please don’t hover around the poor boy! Give him space! Give him space!”

Alphinaud’s lidded eyes moved slightly as he found himself coming to—incoherent noise manifesting into many voices surrounding him. The light was blinding as he tried to wake, his face distorted from the uncomfortable pain and groggy feeling he had, only for him to feel a hand grip at his shirt, violently shaking him. 

“Wake up damn you! Get up now! There’s hell to pay dammit!” Alisaie screamed as she pulled her twin from his dreamy state, getting him to snap his eyes open, alert as he looked around, finally getting a sense of where he was. He was surrounded by his friends: Alisaie, Y’shtola, Urianger, and Lyse, all staring at him as he laid in the infirmary bed, relief running among them as Alisaie continued to grip him _very _tightly.

“P-Please Alisaie, r-release your brother! Y-Your strangling him!” Squeaked a soft voice from behind them, Alphinaud composing himself after his sister released him from her resuscitating vice grip, seeing the small nurse of Seventh Dawn, Tataru, lingering about. She sighed in relief, and quickly made her way to Alphinaud, quickly examining him as his sister began.

“My stars Alphinaud you had me worried! Going around fainting like that—we can’t both be damaged at one time!” Alisaie shouted, concern deep in her voice as Tataru quietly reassured her before she continued, “but I swear that bastard Estinien has it coming—he’ll regret ever laying a finger on you—I swear I’ll grind him into a fine dust!” 

“Maybe after you get your arm back in shape, yeah?” Lyse chimed in, blindsiding Alisaie in her tirade, causing her to relent from continuing her murderous vows and turn red, “We’ll beat him up together!” 

“Now, now! N-no one’s beating up anyone around here!” Tataru sputtered as she moved away from Alphinaud, deeming him fine as she went to retrieve him water to rehydrate him. 

“Mm... maybe not on the premise...” Y’shtola muttered as she gave her friend a small smile seeing him squirm at all the attention he was receiving. “But all that matters is that you’re fine, and now we know Estinien’s goals.” 

“Shall we contact your grandfather, Alphinaud?” Urianger asked, Alphinaud immediately shaking his head, “very well. At the very least we must notify Principal Warde on all that transpired—maybe then she’ll see the evil within Estinien.”

“There’s no use,” Alphinaud sighed as he sat back into his pillow, finishing the water Tataru gave him. “She knows how bad Estinien is, but holds on to the belief that there’s good in him. She’ll never expel him. There’s something that only she knows, and it’s enough for her to care about him like he’s her own child. He’ll probably have to kill someone for her to turn against him.”

“We can kill hi—“

“Alisaie. No.”

“Hmph.”

“Well, she believes that we’ll see the good in him from our forced sessions with him. Maybe we’ll learn something about him and empathize with him—after all, his anger has to come from somewhere.” Y’shtola said, leaning against Urianger as she sighed, “if not, hopefully, we’ll learn something to use against him.”

“I doubt he’s the type to just open up to us.” Alphinaud finished as he decided it was time for him to get up, slowly ascending from the bed as Alisaie and Lyse tried to help him up. 

“I’ll give you and Alisaie early leave from the rest of your classes. Get home safe, please. The rest of you have to go back now!“ Tataru interceded, as the group of students nodded, the twins thanking her. After goodbyes and last-minute concerns, the twins left, followed by Lyse who went back to class, leaving Y’shtola and Urianger lingering in the halls as they detoured back to class. 

“Something bothers me still. I require your help, Urianger.” Y’shtola said, glancing towards the tall boy as they casually walked.

“Yes Y’shtola, how can I aid you?” Urianger inquired, genuinely raising a brow in interest.

“The boy that was with Estinien—Thancred, I believe. I need to speak to him.” 

“Oh. How come?”

Y’shtola closed her eyes as she stopped walking, crossing her arms across her chest as she spoke, “I have a feeling Estinien and him are not foes—not in the slightest. You’re a smart man, Urianger, and I have the slightest inkling that your hypothesis was correct, and this Thancred may be key to understanding our dear friend Estinien. And, well, I just have to thank him for the chocolates he’s given me—well, you all—the past couple of months.”

By this point Y’shtola turned and looked at Urianger wide-eyed with her hands on her hips, smirking at her friend. He stood still, before a smile crept on him, letting out a low chuckle.

“I see... verily, I’ll assist in locating your lovelorn poet. After all, I’m very much interested in learning about his works. You never did share his love letters with us.” 

“I hope this suffices.” Y’shtola started as she took out a small box from her bag—which Urianger immediately recalled it falling from Thancred’s hands when he quarreled with Estinien. Urianger took it carefully and opened it, finding it a very romantically designed chocolate box with a lovely note inside. 

Urianger raised his head to look at his friend, and the two villainously laughed.

* * *

Alphinaud was not fine. The poor boy was a ball of nerves despite his friends' support, who were with him when he needed them the most. They accompanied him whenever they could to thwart whatever Estinien and his followers had to hurt him. Truly, Alphinaud was grateful for the friends he had—he knows he tends to focus so much on the negative, on how other people, who don’t matter to him in the slightest, detest him and how unpopular he is. He feels alone on multiple occasions, but in reality, he has people that care deeply about him—that love him for who he is. Even if it is just the four of them, it was more than enough to Alphinaud, and he was content nonetheless. 

But still, the fear of Estinien was far too great for him to enjoy himself with his companions. He tried to keep himself busy when alone, often hiding in the student council room or visiting his counselor, Miss Baldesion, in her office. When he would catch a glimpse Estinien or someone who remotely looked like him, Alphinaud would turn and flee. He knew he was delaying the inevitable, but he’d try his hardest to defy the fates. He was suffering—dealing with a very unjust punishment too great to be by chance. Had he pissed off the gods so badly that they would deliver their wrath in the form of Estinien? Either way, he figured if he kept this up, it’ll all be okay and Estinien and his gang would just move on. 

Currently, Alphinaud was hiding in the student council room, procrastinating as he organized random forms and papers (his excuse, should a member walk in). He sat at the head of the table, playing around with his carbuncle charm that his grandfather gave him and his sister when they were children, the two keeping them as good luck charms and a reminder of their familial connection. Dozing off, he was brought back to reality as he heard a commotion outside. His paranoia made him think it was Estinien for a moment, but he heard various muffled voices outside the door, relieving him as Estinien’s a lone wolf for the most part. Alphinaud was trying to enjoy his last remaining free periods before his time with Y’shtola and the devil himself was set to begin, but curiosity got the best of him, and he got up and slowly headed towards the door. 

_ These kids are so loud! What could they possibly be doing? Skipping class and loitering around, no doubt. I hate to admit it, but this school has changed... for the worse. _

Alphinaud’s thought had a wave of sadness accompany it. He loves Seventh Dawn with every fiber of his being, it was the school of his dreams—the one he was destined to be and flourish in. It was an old, and long ago a very prestigious private high school renown around the country for its excellent academics and outstanding students, well funded by wealthy families and investors. Not many people know this, but the Leveilleurs have financially supported the institution since its beginning, helping its founders assert the school’s reputation. So many in his family have walked through these halls, sat in the same classrooms, and graduated before Alphinaud, and now it was his turn. But, the school took a turn, with ownership falling into the wrong hands, corruption and scandal taking hold for a time until its eventual exposure. The school had fallen apart, and it wasn’t until later that it managed to bounce back as efforts were made to rectify what had been done. It would, however, never return to its former glory, with the new wave of owners making it their mission to get rid of the influence wealthy private parties had on the school, deciding to make it more open to the public so that everyone has an equal chance to get in. This caused a lot of people to stop supporting the school, leaving the Leveilleurs as one of its last remaining supporters. When Minfilia became the Principal, she vowed to further this doctrine of inclusion, making sure that all kids—no matter who they were, or where they came from—found a home at Seventh Dawn: a place to learn, to grow, to be happy, and to be successful. 

Alphinaud wholeheartedly agreed with her manifesto and supported her fervently, but truthfully, there have been some very... _ colorful _ characters attending this school, some which Alphinaud questioned how they even step foot in the first place. He’d never find the answer, however. 

Alphinaud opened the door to a couple of students huddled against the lockers outside. It seemed innocent at first, but upon further inspection, Alphinaud discerned that a pair of students were pinning someone against the lockers, hushed whispers too harsh to be innocent coming from them. Sudden anger rising within him—unfortunately, from all the emotions he’s bottled up—spilled out, Alphinaud wasted no time to interject before anything happened. 

“Get off that student this instant! I won’t hesitate to report you—I’ll have security here in a flash!” Alphinaud shouted louder than necessary, the hooligans snapping their necks to look at the source. Their eyes widened at seeing Alphinaud, mumbling something about the stuck-up President, causing him to steel his glare as he tried to scare them off with his threatening disposition.

Luckily, it was enough to send them running, leaving behind a very rattled boy, who looked at Alphinaud in disbelief. He had blue hair with equally blue eyes—Alphinaud knowing he's never seen him before, and by the looks of it, he must’ve been an underclassman. 

“Are you al—“

“WOW! That was so cool! H-how’d you do that? You had them scared straight into running away!” The blue-haired boy exclaimed, completely changing his rattled disposition to a very excited one, “who are you?”

Alphinaud was stunned by the boy’s burst of energy, bracing himself as the stranger moved closer to him. His gaze was intense, slightly making Alphinaud uncomfortable by his unyielding stare into Alphinaud’s own eyes. 

“Oh, uh, I-I’m Alphinaud—Alphinaud Leveilleur. I’m—“

“Alphinaud, huh? I feel like I’ve heard that name before. You must be super popular to have them run away from ya!” He chirped, a big smile on his face, still maintaining intense eye contact. 

Alphinaud could only laugh weakly at his naivety as he looked away. Clearly, he was new to this school—everyone knew about Alphinaud. 

“No, no, not in the slightest. I’m just the president. They’re scared I’ll—“

“P-P-President!? Of the school!?” The boy exasperated, “T-T-That’s so cool! No wonder they ran, you basically run the school!”

Again, Alphinaud laughed, his ego _ slightly _raised, “No, I don’t have that kind of power. The last thing they’d want is me having them expelled, that's all.” 

“That’s still really awesome. I owe you big time for saving me!” 

“Don’t worry about it... but I wonder, do they pick on you frequently...?”

“Mhm—wait, this must be the president's office, right?” The kid blurted out, passing Alphinaud and entering the council room. 

“Uh... it’s the _ student council room.” _

“Same thing~ this is so cool—it’s so big!” He said, taking in the wide room, circling the large U-Shaped table where the members sat, looking at everything inside, finishing at the front of the room running his finger on the blackboard. 

“Yes, Yes, it serves its purpose. Now tell me, how long have those kids been bullying yo—“

“I thought about joining student council, but I forgot~“

“STO—“

“Oh yeah!” The boy let out, suddenly turning to face a very irritated Alphinaud, and gave him an innocent smile, “I completely forgot to tell you my name! I’m Haurchefant—it’s very nice to meet you!” 

Alphinaud was pissed off from being constantly interrupted, but he found himself sighing in defeat, unable to reprimand the boy. This Haurchefant was definitely one of the colorful people Alphinaud could scarcely believe existed in the school, but he found some amusement in his erratic and outgoing personality—the proper distraction, considering recent events.

“Verily. It’s nice to meet you Haurchefant. Now please, _ please _, answer me: have those kids been harassing you long?”

“Mm... not really—I mean, I don’t pay attention to them, they usually stop after a while.” Haurchefant answered casually, deciding he’d finish exploring his new environment and perched himself next to Aphinaud, “but don’t worry, Mr. President, everything’ll be fine!” 

“Please, no formalities. But what do you mean they eventually stop? Has this happened before?” Alphinaud inquisitively asked, looking up at the boy, concern all over his face. Haurchefant lazily shrugged, unbothered. 

“I dunno. Don’t worry about it Alphinaud, you’ve done enough~” he reassured, patting Alphinaud’s shoulder, “Is it too late to join student council? Seems fun!”

“If you think overly dragged meetings and endless arguments are fun,” Alphinaud said under his breath before properly responding, “I mean, I’d have to run it through the other members, but I don’t see a problem with it. Do you always have free this period?” 

Haurchefant shot up, shouting: 

“HOWCOULDIFORGETINEEDTOGOBACKTOCLASSBYEALPHINAUDI’LLCATCHYALATER!”

And like that, he was gone. 

“I—Gods have mercy...” was all Alphinaud muttered as he stared at the door, absolutely dumbfounded. 

* * *

24-hours later, and the inevitable had come, and Alphinaud found himself sitting across from the fiend destined to devour him—to make him suffer as a means to hurt another. 

This situation overly frustrates him, seeing that he was made a victim for Y’shtola’s actions, dealing with the consequences while she remained unscathed. He was angered, occasionally falling into such a state where he couldn’t help but blame her for getting him bullied by Estinien’s cronies on top of his already unfavorable reputation at the school. This forced him to change his routines to accommodate his target status for them, losing whatever confidence he had within the school, fear at every corner he took. He hated the feeling of harboring any animosity towards his friend—he knew in his heart she didn’t intend for any of this—but it just wasn’t fair. It never is fair for Alphinaud. 

So he kept his feelings bottled up, having the urge to shell himself away while creating distance from Y’shtola. And, of course, this only made his current situation worse as she sat right next to him, per Minfilia’s punishment. The tension ran high as Alphinaud sat there awkwardly, having no desire to converse with either of them. 

They were in professor Totolymo’s classroom, who _ generously _ offered his space so that the three could spend their scheduled time together without interruption. As an added measure, he took it upon himself to confiscate their cellulars to make sure they got the opportunity to interact properly and _ not waste away like so many of the youth are these days _ (Papalymo’s words, Alphinaud emphasizes). For a while they sat there quietly, Alphinaud had taken out his lunch, but immediately lost his appetite—thus, he opted to start tackling his assignments as clearly, he was in no place to initiate a conversation with either one of his companions. 

It felt like hours, as Alphinaud forced himself to scribble down whatever in the hells he was doing—he couldn’t focus at all, not with Y’shtola’s attempting to strike a conversation with him and Estinien looking between them curiously. Eventually, professor Totolymo demanded their attention as he had some things to say.

“You kids are awful—truly awful! Can’t even bring yourself to strike a simple conversation. How preposterous! Utterly despicable! Absolutely Horrendous! Why Alphinaud, your bright mind can’t string along a simple conversation starter? What of you, miss Rhul? Not a single word spoken to the third member of this sad trio of yours. And you, our esteemed delinquent, have you naught to say from that slick mouth of yours?” Professor Papalymo ranted from his desk, glaring at the kids with disappointment emanating from where he sat. 

All Alphinaud could do was turn red and look down in shame, as the other two stirred, preparing their responses. 

“Apologizes, Professor Totolymo, but you must know that we are forced here against our will,” Y’shtola began to reason, glancing at Alphinaud to see him turtle up from Papalymo’s criticism, “and we’re not on good terms with Estinien—after all, he did threaten Alphinaud.” 

“Only as a response to your threat, girl.” Estinien snapped back, defending himself. 

“Oh, as if you were truly offended by our bid to have you expelled—something you have coming.”

Estinien scoffed at Y’shtola, leaning back into his chair coolly, responding to her with a very sly comment that riled Y’shtola up, Alphinaud taking note in her change of posture. He prepared for hell to unleash only a few centimeters away from him.

Y’shtola made a smart comment back, and thus did the arguing begin, with the two going back and forth as they snapped at each other’s throats, Alphinaud looking onward from the front lines.

“ENOUGH!” Papalymo boomed, getting up from his seat, “YOU INSOLENT BRATS! BARKING LIKE RABID DOGS IN A STUPID BID FOR DOMINANCE, DID YOU FORGET JUST WHO YOU ARE? CHILDREN! UTTERLY HOPELESS CHILDREN! BICKERING LIKE MORTAL ENEMIES—THE UTTER CLOWNERY!”

The professor had exploded, the three of them completely blindsided by his words, silenced and attentive. Professor Totolymo was known for many things such as his harsh attitude and even harsher standards, but the thing that stood him apart from other professors was his quick fuse. Never has there existed a man who could initiate and end an argument as frequently as Papalymo, and if you were lucky, you’d be able to experience it firsthand. He was kind—a genuinely passionate and good-spirited teacher—but by the gods was he a hothead. 

He calmed down slightly, sighing as he pinched the top of his nose, trying to relax before he says something that’d hurt them forever. 

“My blood pressure’s risen now, gods give me strength. I don’t know how, but Principal Warde believes there’s some way to make you three fools friends—or a sad parody of it. Make an attempt—especially you two,” Papalymo expressed, hinting at the president and his vice, suddenly pointing at Estinien and Y’shtola, “I’m stepping out before I murder the two of you.” 

And like that, Papalymo left his room, not before he made it clear that if any of them left there’d be severe consequences. Little did he know, Alphinaud had already paid his dues, and had been suffering in the deepest hell all this time. 

The three sat there, in a mix of a loss of words and deep thought, trying to assess the situation. 

It was Y’shtola who broke the silence. 

“Very well, I shall extend the olive branch,” she began, intense eyes looking at Estinien who nonchalantly returned her gaze, “I will allow you to explain yourself, as long as you apologize to Alphinaud and promise to stop picking on him.” 

Again, Estinien scoffed. 

“Is he a child? A defenseless baby? He’s right here, ain’t he? He can ask me himself,” he started, not even breaking away from Y’shtola to look at Alphinaud, “And explain myself? What in the hells could I have to explain to _ you _.”

“How could he possibly—he’s afraid of you and your pathetic followers! You know full well the influence you have at this school, and here you are questioning why your victims won’t stand up to you? There’s a reason for your ways, Estinien, and our Principal believes that it’s good enough to explain everything—to forgive it all! Give us some insight—anything! We can help you—“

“Stop it.” Estinien interrupted, harshly, silencing her as he glared, clearly pissed off. Alphinaud could do nothing but bear witness to their pointless parley, surprising well composed. He had succumbed to a sort of depression where he knew it could only get worse from here, and he had come to a despondent acceptance of it. 

Estinien continued, “Minfilia’s too blind in her egotistical heroism that she thinks she can ‘_ save _’ me. What a stupid lady—there’s nothing here for you, okay, so drop it.” 

It was Y’shtola’s turn to lean back in her chair coolly, shutting her eyes before opening them, determined. 

“Plan B, then.”

Estinien was genuinely taken aback by her response, his expression wide with shock, before reverting itself back to his icy glare, “Explain yourself.”

Y’shtola stretched her arms up as she settled once again, a smirk on her face, “Oh nothing,” she responded, before turning to Alphinaud, remembering his presence, “do you have anything to say, Alphinaud?”

Alphinaud looked at her, too worn out to react in any sort of way. He shook his head, turning back to feign his focus on his assignment, avoiding making eye contact with Estinien. Y’shtola smile sadly, patting his head lovingly, causing Alphinaud to push her away, embarrassed. Estinien was eyeing the two, unable to grasp the depth of their relationship. 

Y’shtola continued her attack on Alphinaud head, only for him get fed up and slap her hand away, viciously telling her to leave him be, which startled her. Never has Alphinaud been so harsh to her, becoming genuinely concerned over her friend’s attitude as of late. Estinien raised an eye to this, surprised at the small boy’s fire. 

“Lover’s quarrel?” The delinquent joked, Y’shtola looking up at him, snorting in response as she began laughing.

“Us? Ha! No sooner would the moon fall on our heads would me and Alphinaud be anything of the sort.” Y’shtola responded with a smile, lightheartedly nudging at Alphinaud, only to feel him stiffen as he refused a response, clarifying that he was in no mood. 

Y’shtola’s enthusiasm faded, needing no more indication from Alphinaud that he was mad at her. She shifted her focus back to Estinien, deciding it was best to leave her best friend alone for now. 

“At the very least, I’ve learned one thing about you—you’re quite the joker.” 

“Thank you.” He responded mockingly, Y’shtola tilting her head as she settled for it. 

The conversation ended there, with Professor Totolymo returning shortly thereafter, loudly commenting his joy that they hadn’t ripped each other’s heads off (albeit, very condescendingly). Y’shtola reassured that they had a nice conversation, with Estinien chuckling under his breath. He looked at Alphinaud, who was angrily scribbling down whatever geeky work he had. He analyzed the boy, finally being able to see him up close and personal. 

He looked... well, Estinien wasn’t quite sure. His eyes were a vibrant blue that was only complimented by his fair skin, like sapphires intensely sparkling against a white beach. His lips were open slightly as his eyes darted from side to side as his small fingers worked meticulously, his face soft as he continued to work. He looked too feminine for his own good, Estinien raising an eyebrow at himself as couldn’t help but coin the boy as pretty.

Alphinaud looked up suddenly, catching Estinien stare at him, their eyes locking for a moment, in which Estinien got a good look at his face. Though beautiful, there was a sadness emanating from within the boy’s eyes, something Estinien knew all too well. However, Alphinaud got flustered, and looked back down, lowering his head further in fear. 

This exchange felt otherworldly, despite lasting mere seconds, as Papalymo told the trio that their time was up, Alphinaud darting up with his things almost falling out of his hands to retrieve his phone and leave without uttering a goodbye to Y’shtola. Estinien was now much more interested in just who Alphinaud was—who the person he promised to break is. 

Later in the night as he laid to rest, Estinien could help but picture the boy in his mind—those beautiful sapphires look back at him. 

Their sorrow had consumed Estinien for the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is... no excuse I can give to explain why this chapter is VERY late. I... am sorry. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, however. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!!!!


	5. North Star II

“Alphinaud, can we talk?”

“Sorry, Alisaie's waiting on me.”

“Mm... very well—later, then!”

...

“Alphinaud, there you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Really? Ah, well, pardon me, I have a meeting with Miss Baldesion—I’ll see you later.”

“Oh, okay.”

...

_ Y: Hey Alphinaud, I was wondering if we could hang out tomorrow. Anywhere you want, just let me know! :D _

_ A: Sorry! I have a tutoring session with Haurchefant after school. I’ll see you at Totolymo’s class! _

Y’shtola didn’t bother to respond to Alphinaud’s text.

* * *

“I don’t know what to do.”

“About what, Y’shtola?”

“Alphinaud.” She sighed, deciding to better spend her afternoon with Urianger on their search for a certain someone—anything to kill the loneliness she’s been feeling lately.

Urianger‘s silence bid her to continue, which she did.

“I understand if he’s mad—he has all right to be. At Estinien, at the world—_at me_. I want him to be angry, he deserves it more than anyone else, but I wish he would talk to me about it. If only he'd show me what storm wages in his head so that I can help navigate him through it. So that I can apologize and make it up to him.”

Urianger listened, used to being a diary for his friends in their time of need. He processed Y’shtola’s sentiments, continuing to trek to their destination as he tried to find the best response for her. He felt he couldn’t, so he thought it best to be brutally honest with her.

“That’s quite selfish of you, Y’shtola. You know full well of Alphinaud’s self-sufficiency and tendency to withdraw into his shell, yet you would feel necessary for him to cope with his frustrations? Rightfully when you are perhaps a source of said troubles?”

It came out much harsher than he intended, but he meant every word. After all, Alphinaud was someone dear to him as well—akin to family for the tall boy.

Y’shtola looked down as she spoke, “you’re right. Absolutely right about that and my ego,” looking up at Urianger with sad eyes and an even sadder smile, “but at least he’s found a friend to distract him. Perhaps my replacement.”

Urianger stopped to look back through his goggles, nodding slightly, “It’s good that he befriended the young lad. But, please refrain from such thoughts. You’re irreplaceable to any of us—you must believe that. If it’s anything to provide you solace, Alphinaud is most likely angry at himself more than any other party involved.”

“That’s what hurts the most.” Y’shtola whispered, voice cracking.

Urianger nodded, taking a risk and placing his hand on her shoulder, something that went against his usual aversion to physical touch. Y’shtola raised an eyebrow to this, feeling slightly uncomfortable but grateful for the kind gesture, nonetheless. He began turning red in embarrassment, quickly bringing his hand back to his side before clearing his throat, point ahead of them.

“I-I believe we’ve arrived.” He sputtered, Y’shtola smirking at his unusual composure. She looked upon the dojo, taking it in as her target lied waiting inside.

“So we have.”

* * *

“Ahh!” Haurchefant let out, dropping his head to the table as he let out his frustrations, “I don’t get it Alphinaud I don’t! Please let me go, I’m exhausted! I quit!”

“No quitting! You can do this! Think back to the formulas we went over—“

“Screw the formulas! Let me fail in peace!”

This scenario has been repeated quite a bit the past couple of weeks the two have hung out. Surprisingly, Haurchefant kept his promise of seeing the president later, tracking him down after their initial encounter to establish a friendship. Alphinaud wanted nothing more than to push him away after his awful experience with Y’shtola and Estinien, but he found the boy wouldn’t leave so easily. Thus, Alphinaud begrudgingly embraced him like a stain that wouldn't go away, soon attached to the boy and his positive, refreshing energy. He had found out much about the first-year through their encounters, and felt the need to guide and support him when needed, as his duty being his senior. They found a nice companionship, becoming close enough to where Alisaie had to poke at just who this new friend was, bothering Alphinaud to know who became his center of attention.

“You won’t fail, Haurchefant! I promise you, I know how smart and capable you are! It may seem daunting at first but once you get the equation down to its basics I guarantee it’ll be easy!” Alphinaud reassured, trying his hardest to cheer up his friend who stubbornly kept his head hidden in his arms.

Alphinaud sighed, once again reinforcing that he wouldn’t give up on his friend, in which Haurchefant turned to peek at him, eyes in awe at how kind Alphinaud was. He couldn’t help but seize his friend in a tight bear hug, crying how thankful he was to have the smartest kid in school tutor him. Alphinaud was suffocating in his spine-shattering embrace while struggling to comfortably adjust, both patting Haurchefant’s back understandingly while trying to get him off.

When he released Alphinaud from his vice grip, he had a big smile as he wiped his glossy eyes, “Wanna come over my house? I’m tired of being in school for the day, and I think a change of scenery will help me focus!”

Alphinaud was taken back by his request, a little uncomfortable at the notion but nodded promptly, “S-Sure, I guess. If your family doesn’t mind, after all.”

“_Pfft_! No worries there! Let's go!” He chirped, quickly packing his stuff as he eagerly led Alphinaud out, after responding to a text he received, telling Alphinaud it was from his brother, but passing it off as nothing.

It seemed the gods had blessed Alphinaud, even if just a bit, through the presence of Haurchefant in his life. Right when he was feeling his worst, dealing with both Estinien’s unyielding torment and Y’shtola’s needless persistence, Haurchefant was an urgently needed salve for his troubles. He was always smiling around the boy, able to reclaim his confidence when he taught him and rekindle his inner joker when teasing him. He was a guiding light for Alphinaud—a brilliant star for Aphinaud to admire in the throes of perdition.

Haurchefant gave Alphinaud what he he had lost.

Yes, he felt guilty for consciously pushing Y’shtola away, but he needed some space from her and the whole situation at school. He found himself wanting something different, as all his other friends were too involved with his Estinien business, frequently finding himself brought back to reality when they’d inevitably talk about it. But Haurchefant, on the other hand, was naive to it—Alphinaud explaining that he simply had to tutor a kid that was at risk of dropping out of the school, refusing to tell anymore that would connect him to Estinien. Alphinaud felt selfish for using him as an escape, but he swore that Haurchefant was more than that to him—he was a companion he genuinely grew fond of.

They took detours as they went back and forth teasing each other, telling jokes and chatting about nonsense, laughing all the way until they eventually found themselves in front of Haurchefaunt’s apartment, which he happily unlocked the door to. Alphinaud felt a pang of fear hit Alphinaud as he did, unreasonably scared of what lied beyond, and nervous to introduce himself to his family. Sensing this, or by sheer coincidence, Haurchefant turned to reassure that no one should be home. Alphinaud found peace at that, then suddenly blushing at realizing the situation that was unfolding before him. Many times has he read of a similar situation in... certain creative literature outlets he indulges in at times, and he found his heart racing at the parallels. After all, there was a point where Haurchefant held his hand as they walked awfully close to each other.

“Huh, it’s dark in here,” Haurchefant mumbled, turning to take Alphinaud’s hand as he guided him through the dark hallway leading to his living room.

_ No no no no no no no! T-This can’t be happening! I-I-I-no! H-He must have the wrong idea—I don’t like him like that! D-Does he like me that way..? N-No there’s no way—absolutely no way! We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks—surely he doesn’t feel some sort of way for me! He’s not even gay—Is he? I mean, he is flamboyant but that’s not the point. No, no, I absolutely can’t! He’s my junior—it’s... absolutely wrong!? _

Alphinaud’s eyes went wide at the end of his internal rambling, finding himself at a crossroads of what he’d do should if this goes out as he thinks, feeling guilty for even assuming this would be okay. Alphinaud didn’t think of him this way prior to this situation—but then the realization that it’s not like Alphinaud likes any better hit him. After all, he still found himself unreasonably attracted to Estinien, the opposite effect he had hoped would happen from their socializing.

“There you are,” Haurchefant whispered as he pressed the light switch, the sudden brightness irritating Alphinaud’s eyes. Haurchefant had not let go of his hand as he turned to face Alphinaud, “there ya go—ah, are you alright?”

Alphinaud was red all over, pupils dilating as concerned blue eyes looked down at him (despite being older, Alphinaud was a dwarf compared to Haurchefant’s unreasonable height for his age, something Haurchefant would endlessly tease him about). He stuttered as he failed to respond, Haurchefant now fully concerned as he placed a hand on his forehead.

“You’re burning Alphie, what’s got you so hot?” He said a little too deeply, leaving Alphinaud dumbfounded. Maybe he was wrong in believing the gods had blessed him—nay, Haurchefant would be the death of him.

And so did death manifest as Haurchefant cupped Alphinaud’s soft cheeks, bring his head closer as Alphinaud reacted on instinct, his breathing increasing as his mouth opened, eyes slowly closing. He didn’t want this—_ or did he? _

His first kiss—the thing he’s been romanticizing about for eons was about to happen.

* * *

“I don’t believe I’ve tasted something so delicious before.”

“R-Really? I didn’t expect that—then again, you’ve never had a sweet tooth.”

Y’shtola and Urianger were sitting in front of a small dessert store, enjoying their time as they waiting patiently—some better than others.

“Are you sure this is the right place? Is he even in there?” Y’shtola whined, tapping her foot in frustration.

“Patience, he is in there." Urianger affirmed, Y’shtola groaning in response.

“I tire of waiting around. I’m going in—“ she began, standing up from her seat. Urianger reached out to tap her, urging her to look ahead.

“No need, the wait has ended. Your prince lies ahead.”

“Huh. Seems so.” Y’shtola sarcastically played back, “let’s not keep him waiting then. His princess so_ desperately_ needs him.”

* * *

“What the hell is going on here!” boomed a voice from ahead of them, waking Alphinaud from his trance. He dreamily gazed at Haurchefant who craned his neck to look at the source as Alphinaud recollected what just occurred—or, in fact, what _almost_ happened.

He felt as if he was stirred from a dream—one so polarizing he didn’t whether it was the sweetest he’s had or a nightmare come to life. It turned out to be the latter, however, as the gods tortured the small boy more as he joined Haurchefant to look at the source of their untimely distractor.

“_Estinien!_ I didn’t know you were home!” Haurchefant chirped happily, as if nothing out of the ordinary happened (Alphinaud’s cheeks still trapped in Haurchefant’s big hands).

Alphinaud felt light-headed again, but before he could faint, Haurchefant moved to wrap his arm around Alphinaud’s shoulders, explaining, “this is my good friend Alphinaud—he’s the one I told you about! He’s been tutoring me ~”

The cheekiness at the end of his statement didn’t help either Alphinaud or Estinien, who glared at the poor boy, making him shake violently in Haurchefant’s fatal embrace.

“Sure looks like a lot of tutoring from here.” Estinien spat, narrowing his eyes as he stood in front of the hallway across from them, Alphinaud never witnessing someone have such murderous intentions so obvious before this moment. He was shirtless, his comfy pants riding his hips low as his hair was slightly wet, hinting he has just showered.

_ Oh, Thaliak... I return to your grace tonight... _

“Huh? Alphinaud started burning up for some reason—I hope you don’t have a fever,” Haurchefant explained, turning to check on Alphinaud who weakly kept Estinien’s glare, “oh! How dumb of me. Alphinaud, this is my older brother, Estinien! He goes to Seventh Dawn too! He’s in your grade—isn’t that so cool?!”

It was hearing this that Alphinaud finally broke away from Estinien, looking at Haurchefant with a face trapped between despair and humor, his eyes wide in horror as he forced a smile on his face, laughing at the irony, “of course he’s your brother. _Of course._”

How could he not have noticed the similarity in facial structure? The same intensity in their eyes? The height gene they both clearly shared?!

Haurchefant cocked his head at Alphinaud’s response, prompting him to brush it off as he looking down at his feet to save himself from further embarrassment.

“Well Estinien, sorry for disturbing you! If you’re going out, be safe, okay? Alphinaud and I will be in my room!” Haurchefant explained as he began to lead them there, removing his arm from around Alphinaud and retaking his hand, Alphinaud silently cursing Haurchefant’s overly touchy disposition giving his brother the wrong idea. Estinien rightly blocked their way.

“I don’t think so—I don’t trust you in by yourself with someone like him. Plus, if you’re really here to get tutored, you’ll be distracted in your room.” Estinien reasoned, hiding his true intention for keeping them in the open area.

“Mm... I guess you’re right. Well, Alphinaud, make yourself comfortable—my home is your home too!” Haurchefant said with a big smile, urging Alphinaud to take a seat, which he did so very hesitantly, “I hope you don’t mind but I’m gonna go change, I’m tired of being in this cruddy uniform.”

Alphinaud assured him out of obligation, as now he was alone with a very angry Estinien, a deathly silence encroaching between them as they listened for Haurchefant’s footsteps walking off until they heard his door open and closed behind him.

Alphinaud's tombstone would be erected in this house.

* * *

They attempted to be stealthy as they trailed behind their target, but Y'shtola's impatience had run thin. She shouted after the boy in front of them.

"You there! Thancred!"

The said boy turned nonchalantly to face the two comrades, aware of their presence long ago. He raised an eyebrow to Y'shtola who stood there, comically pointing at him as Urianger stood next to her. A breeze swept past as they stood at a standstill—Y'shtola steeling her gaze as Urianger stood unmoving like a rock, Thancred looking between the two as he felt his eye twitch, the tension building up as he remained utterly confused.

"Can... Can I help either of you?" He asked, getting silence as a response as Y'shtola brought her hands to her hips, closing her eyes in brief contemplation before she strode across to meet the boy directly, invading his personal space causing him to lean away from her sharp scowl, "oh my, I—“

"You're quite the elusive one, _ Thancred _." Y'shtola spat, narrowing her eyes.

"I... I do apologize," He responded with an awkward laugh, "I didn't know I was needed."

Y'shtola hummed out in response, her intimidation slowly fading as Thancred observed her face, finding subtle cracks in its stiff exterior. He smirked, finding it cuter than anything else.

"Had I known, I would've made myself readily available," he continued, "_ especially for you _ _._"

He winked, causing her to flinch and pull away from him, eliciting a reaction from Urianger who watched at a distance. Thancred straightened himself out, appearing bigger than her for the first time, a wide smile on his face.

In retrospect, Thancred was the renown flirt at Seven Dawn—the lovesick fool who'd sing his melody for any girl who'd give him a smidge of attention. Sometimes it'd work, but his relationships would inevitably fail. He was a loose cannon, firing anywhere and hitting his targets, but they were never _ his _ to begin with. He hid his intents to lead others astray, no one ever truly knowing the real him. And frankly, no one really tried. He played nice with everybody, keeping to himself as best he could. He happily played Cupid’s fool, as that role gave him peace and stability. His love-struck facade would go unnoticed—save for the one soul who knew his truth. Ironically, that soul had brought him the girl he truly wanted.

Thancred opened his mouth to continue, but Y'shtola raised her hand to prevent an onslaught. She had given him an edge, and she would put an end to it posthaste.

"I've not the time for cheekiness. You've been avoiding us. Why?"

He smirked, "Well, one would naturally evade their pursuers lurking in the shadows," glancing towards Urianger who continued to linger behind, "you two weren't the stealthiest. I'd only wish it was you who consistently crept behind all this time, not your friend there."

"Pardon me, but I was preoccupied with more important things. But now you have my undivided attention, after all these months."

He laughed, scratching at the back of his head, "There's no denying that."

Silence followed as a gentle breeze passed by, the sun beginning to set. They had followed him into a local park, finding themselves in a secluded area. Urianger continued to stand at a distance, watching the scene unblinking. The awkwardness of the situation was building, and Urianger waited in earnest for it to boil over. And it would, as soon enough, the two teens opened their mouths at the exact same moment:

"So, wanna go out with me?"

"Tell me about Estinien."

Urianger had to cover his mouth to stop his laughter, hiding it well as the two continued:

"Huh? Estinien?"

"Yes, Estinien. What do you know about him? Also, I would never go out with you."

"H-Hey! Don't say _never_! Isn't that the whole reason you followed me today? Why your friend stalked me the past week?"

"Not at all. Why would I date a creep who can’t take a hint?” she reinforced as she fixed her bangs, "But, please, you must know something about him!"

"_Pfft._ Why would I know anything about him?" Thancred retorted, offended.

"Oh? So the two of you aren't acquaintances? Would Urianger lie to me?" Y'shtola asked, steeling her glare at Thancred, who scowled at Urianger.

Thancred yielded, "Is this about our falling out that day? Forgive me for that awful display—I would never behave that way around you otherwise."

"_Drop it._ I'll forgive you if you tell me about him."

"I know the two of you are fighting an all, but could you possibly want to learn about him?"

Y'shtola feigned thought for a moment before responding, "Something he wouldn't want me to know, obviously."

"Ah. Going for good old blackmail, I see. Though, I'm not sure how well that'll go over."

"Will you oblige or not?"

"Hm..." Thancred feigned contemplation, "You really put me in a tough situation—"

"How so? Friend or not to you, he's crossed a line—one that's hurting someone dear to me. If you have any empathy in your heart, you’d help me! _ Help Alphinaud! _” Y'shtola spoke fiercely, her conviction to have this succeed allowing her to invade Thancred's space once again, her tone matching her serious expression, the boy taking notice in her stalwart passion. He admired it—admired her—but he couldn't pass up this golden opportunity:

"Mm... one date—"

"No."

"_C'mon—_"

"No."

"Well, then there's only so much I can do."

"Is your ego so fragile?" Y'shtola hissed, rolling her eyes, but Thancred kept his smug attitude, amusement in his eyes, "_Fine_."

"Alright! Now we're talking!" Thancred cheered, daring to raise his arm with the attention of wrapping it around her shoulder, which she responded with a fist to his chest, staggering him back. He busted out laughing as Y'shtola brooded, reminding herself that this was all for Alphinaud. Urianger crossed his arms, hoping this would all be worth it.

* * *

In an instant Alphinaud cowering in front of Estinien, word vomit leaving him as he tried his hardest to appease his anger.

“I-I’m so s-sorry E-Estinien! I-I p-p-promise it’s not what it seems—I swear it! H-He’s a friend! N-Nothing more—P-Please believe me! I-I had no idea he was your brother!” Alphinaud forced out as he kept his face down, holding back his tears that silently dared to fall. Estinien, however, was having none of it.

“Yeah right,” Estinien hissed, grabbing Alphinaud at the base of his braid, pulling him up harshly to meet him at eye level, “I wouldn’t put it past you to come after my brother just to spite me—_ considering what you are. _”

Alphinaud looked into his ravenous eyes which harbored nothing but hate and contempt for him—full of darkness that threatened to consume him. Despite the tears now running freely down his face, he took offense to what Estinien’s words meant—the ignorance resonating off every syllable. Alphinaud felt anger bubble deep in the pit of fear within him, and had an epiphany in that moment: Estinien was just a man—no, a teen just like Alphinaud, who simply had more rage than the average person. In fact, they were equals, much like he was with Alisaie or Y’shtola—like any of his friends. He wasn’t a big bad monster capable of destroying him—he was just another high school kid. A kid that got too comfortable putting him down—too comfortable corrupting his identity and state of mind. Realizing this, Alphinaud found peace as he stared into those ravenous eyes, his body relaxing as his anger suffused with him. His tears dried as he met Estinien's gaze, who took note in Alphinaud’s change of composure and hesitated for a moment.

Almost immediately, Alphinaud pulled his arm back,

And allowed his fist to make contact with Estinien’s face

* * *

“Sorry about that—!” Haurchefant said as he walked back into the living area with a fresh change of clothes, immediately noticing the tense energy of the room, “uh, did something happen?”

Silence was all Haurchefant got as an answer, looking between Alphinaud who sat on the couch with his eyes downcast, and Estinien, who had was tightly gripping the kitchen counter as he stared the walls down angrily, a light shade of red on his cheek. Haurchefant opened his mouth to say something again, but almost on cue, Estinien stormed off into his room, slamming it shut, casing his younger brother to jump at it. He turned to Alphinaud who stumbled to get his books in order, looking up at Haurchefant with hooded eyes and a dry smile, "Let's continue studying."

"Sure..." Haurchefant responded with a hint of doubt and a desire to press the situation, but decided it best to leave it alone, as he couldn't come up with a reading why the mood had shifted. Maybe it was just him?

They continued studying as promised, Haurchefant trying his hardest to learn the material and take in Alphinaud's advice as best he can, but knowing full well it was futile. Alphinaud cheered him up, though, Haurchefant appreciating his efforts. They took breaks as they trailed, the sun setting and the stars soon claiming the sky. Their study date came to an end (following Haurchefant’s pleas to end his suffering), and Alphinaud began packing his stuff, responding to a string of very angry texts from his sister inquiring about her lost brother.

"So, how are you gonna get home?" Haurchefant asked as they finally stood from where they perched for hours.

"Oh, I was gonna walk home--"

"Walk?! But it's so dark outside! I’ll take you home—“

"That won't be necessary I'm perfectly capable—“

"No, No! It's the devil's hour at this time, and I guarantee some Nidhogg gangsters are running around, and they would happily prey on someone as delicate as you!"

"_D-Delicate?_" Alphinaud repeated, his eye twitching in annoyance, “I can defend myself, thank you. And the probability of me getting mugged is low. I'll stick to lit streets and have my cell in hand—and anyway, you'd have to walk back on your own, and I definitely won't risk your safety if mine is in such jeopardy."

Haurchefant vigorously shook his head, "No, no Alphinaud! I'm the one who made you come over and kept you late, it's my responsibility to see you home safe."

Alphinaud smiled at his friend's knightly oath, “I appreciate that Haurchefant, but I'm your senior, and I won't have you out at such hours.

"Oh, if only Aymeric were here..." Haurchefant grumbled before his face brightened in a flash of a brilliance , "I know! Estinien could take you home!"

"No!” Alphinaud squeaked, “I, uh, I-I don't think that's necessary—“

"_Pfft_. Don't worry about Estinien, he's is usually out at this late regularly. He'll keep you safe~"

"I-I don't want to bother him I—“

"You won't! He owes me, anyway." Haurchefant chirped, and almost pranced away to his brother's room before Alphinaud could plead his case further. The white-haired boy stood there, his face in utter defeat and irritation at his string of bad luck. Maybe he was wrong about his friend—perhaps he was the harbinger of death instead of his lucky star; the catalyst to his suffering instead of his way out from perdition.

Alphinaud contemplated running away while Harchefant was gone, but the tall boy came back before he could, in an almost teasing way, "Estinien's gonna walk you home, okay?"

"Of course." Alphinaud affirmed, not bothering to hide his annoyance at the situation.

Eventually, his would-be guardian emerged from his room, donning a black pair of pants, shoes and a dark blue sweater, his hair tied up in a very messy bun with loose strands falling perfectly to frame his face (Alphinaud guiltily taking notice at how devilishly handsome he was). Haurchefant was too ecstatic over this arrangement, giving Alphinaud some indication that he must've known something about their ordeal. As per usual, Alphinaud acquiesced as his executioner guided him out of the apartment after bidding what felt like his final farewell to his friend.

Alphinaud expected Estinien to beat him up the moment they step foot outside, but they walked in a heavy silence as Estinien lead them through the neighborhood. The cool breeze kept Alphinaud's nerves up as he shivered into his jacket, reminding him of winter’s slow approach. Eventually, Estinien made a turn into a local park, Alphinad's anxiety peaking at the shift into a dim, isolated atmosphere.

_ So he was waiting. Very well, I have to make amends for putting my hands on him, even if he deserved it. _

Alphinaud dug his heels as he stopped in the middle of the path they took, clearing his throat to gain Estinien's attention, who stopped, unsure of the noise before he turned to look at Alphinaud, who looked towards the ground. He swallowed before he continued, "You may not want to hear this—or frankly won't care—but I... I'm sorry for hitting you back there—in your own home of all places. Even if you did have it coming, it was wrong of me to disrespect you in such a way, especially when I know better. For what it's worth, I hope you accept my apology."

Alphinaud finished off his sentiment, instinctively bowing, which Estinien raised a curious eyebrow to. Alphinaud raised himself up, his face relieved as he finally looked at Estinien, both their cheeks pink from the cold air, their eyes shinning in the dark. Estinien snickered before he gave his response, "You sound as if you hurt me. In what world could a _ pipsqueak _ with a soft wrist manage that?

"I am NOT a pipsqueak!" Alphinaud insisted, his voice betraying his argument as it went higher than usual, even breaking to add insult to injury. Alphinaud turned red in embarrassment as Estinien laughed, prompting the small boy to continue, "T-That's beyond the point! I've apologized, and that's all I wanted to say. So, if you're gonna beat me up get it over with, _ please _."

Estinien would be lying if he said he wasn't stirred by some foreign emotion in Alphinaud's last statement. He couldn't gauge which emotion it was, but his eyes gave way to a sparkle of pity as he gazed at the frowning boy, who just missed it as he wallowed in defeat before Estinien returned his response, "As entertaining as that'd be, I'd rather save myself from Haurchefant’s whining should he find your corpse."

Alphinaud cocked his head uncomfortably at that, before another point he wanted to say came to mind, "Oh, yes, one more thing now that I have you in a... good mood? I—“ He took a breath before he continued, "Estinien, you have to believe me when I say that I didn't know Haurchefant was your brother. It's not like I planned any of this as some sort of revenge plot. Trust me, I am beyond such petty tactics to bring family involved in such a way. Our conflict is one thing, Estinien, and my friendship with your brother is something completely unrelated—and I mean it when I say it's _ friendship _ and nothing else."

Estinien furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, storming over to Alphinaud who shuddered back before the taller male grabbed the front of his clothes, lifting him up slightly to meet his eyes. This scene was repeated once again, however, the tension that quickly spiked diffused as he let Alphinaud go, glaring as threateningly he could to emphasize his following point: “That better be true, _ pipsqueak _. You try anything with him and I promise I'll end you."

Alphinaud wholeheartedly believed Estinien's promise, nodding and reassuring Estinien that it would not come to pass, systematically deleting any and all consideration of Haurchefant as a romantic interest for him. Estinien just huffed as he turned, deciding they've wasted enough time conversing and continued leading them down the path. He sensed Alphinaud walking closer to him, which he turned a blind eye too, deciding he'd terrorize him at school for it another day. Alphinaud, on the other hand, admired Estinien in his passive state, taking in his much taller and wider frame compared to Haurchefant, enjoying the way his blue sweater contrasted his pale skin, and how his hair glistened under the moonlight. He lost his focus, bumping into Estinien who came to a sudden stop, Alphinaud apologizing as he shifted away, looking ahead. They had just entered the park's center, and Alphinaud's eyes went wide as he saw three people ahead of them, who turned to look at them.

"No fucking way—t-that's Estinien, right?"

"Looks like him."

"Well, well, would you look at that. _Imagine our luck._"

The three straightened up, throwing out their cigarettes as the sole female towered over her male companions, smiling wickedly, "Estinien! It’s been quite some time. Who knew the fates were so kind as to lead you here to me. Oh, how good it is to see you.”

"Please, spare me Tioman—if you still go by that awful title." Esinien spat, hovering in front of Alphinaud to obscure him from their view, Tioman noticing.

"You've been evading us—knowing full well Nidhogg will not be ignored—“

"I don't care. Recite that crap another time," Estinien retorted, gritting his teeth as he got upset, “Always a godsdamn nuisance."

"Yeah, Yeah. Let's get to it, then." Tioman said, the sultriness emanating in her voice gave way to the power she held as she strutted forward and raised her hand, her followers immediately stepping forward, revealing their weapons as they began to creep towards the two.

"Alphinaud. Get out of here now." Estinien ordered under his breath, but the boy stood there frozen, internally panicking at the sight of the thugs walking towards them. Estinien groaned, and shoved him away, his final grace before he turned and engaged the two.

Alphaund fell to the ground, staring in horror at Estinien who fought against the odds, covering his mouth when the thugs would slash at him, one _ almost _ successful in slashing his arm. He was awestruck at how graceful Estinien was, dodging blows and overwhelming two opponents at the same time. He was snapped out of this, however, when he noticed that their leader—Tioman, he recalled, went missing from her location. He looked around and made eye contact with her as she made her way towards him, completely circumventing Estinien’s brawl. Alphinaud’s eyes went wide, causing her to wickedly grin at him as he scrambled to get up, failing miserably he crawled to his bag, trying his hardest to get to his phone to dial the police or Alisaie—anyone to help him—but was stopped when she reached him, pressing the bottom of her heel onto his bag, freezing Alphinaud in his spot. She laughed at him, wondering what Estinien could possibly be doing with someone like him, and decided to torment him more when she saw the carbuncle charm attached to his bag. She stepped over it, crushing it under her heel, shattering it in front of the poor boy. Alphinaud scream, shutting his eyes as tears rushed out. He prayed for salvation, which he would receive.

“Get away from him, Tioman.”

“Oh, you’re no fun Estinien. I didn’t hurt him.”

“Get away.”

”Fine. You’re so serious nowadays,” Tioman complained, nonchalantly stepping away from Alphinaud and walking away. She went over to her cronies that were shamelessly knocked out. She spat at them, letting out a wicked laugh, “Pathetic, weren’t they? You know Estinien, Nidhogg is willing to take you back. And more than willing to make you his right eye again if you ask for forgiveness. The group, it’s not the same—“

“Enough.” Estinien interjected, ending the conversation as Tioman shrugged and teased Alphinaud and him one last time before she took off, leaving the two boys and her unconscious underlings behind, “Alphinaud, it’s okay now, you’re safe. Open your eyes—get up.”

Estinien tried to comfort Alphinaud who remained glued to the ground, fear paralyzing him. He nudged Alphinaud, whispering reassurances, but he wouldn’t budge, too trapped in terror’s unyielding grip to listen to him. Eventually, Estinien got fed up and shouted at him, prompting Alphinaud to perk up and open his eyes, gasping at the flash of brilliance he witnessed.

Estinien towered over him, surrounded by the heavens that shined above them. He glistened among the stars, Alphinaud’s wet eyes transfixed at how perfect Estinien seemed to fit among them—no, he stood out among them, stealing their spotlight as the superior constellation that night sky—the one he would remember for an eternity. In that moment, he was the light that shut out his mortal fears—that protected him form the dark. In a surge of emotion, Alphinaud let out a cry as he reached out to Estinien, who begrudgingly accepted him into his arms. He wept into his shoulders, Estinien trying to calm him as he gently rubbed his back, holding him close. He hated this intimacy, something so foreign to him but knew it had to be done, and in the process grew fond of Alphinaud scent, though he would never admit to such a thing anytime soon. As soon as he felt his body relax, Estinien pulled away slightly, looking at Alphinaud’s sore face as he whimpered like a child. Truly, he pitied the poor boy, who witnessed but a glimpse of Estinien’s life.

"It's okay Alphinaud, they won't hurt you, I promise." Estinien consoled, comforting the boy under the moonlight, holding him tight as he slowly relaxed, Alphinaud composing himself as he pushed away from Estinien, averting his gaze.

"I'm fine I-" Alphinaud croaked, trying to stand up but failing miserably, "I...I want to go home."

Estinien nodded as he helped Alphinaud to his feet, picking up his bag, noticing the shattered glass from his charm on the ground. That night, Estinien was the guiding star that lead Alphinaud home, holding him close and embracing him into warm radiance. Alphinaud tried to process the turn of events but decided it was best to let it go, too exhausted to comprehend it all. Instead, he focused his attention on the warmth surrounding him—to Estinien. He learned a lot today about his tormentor, and in that moment he truly felt like a guardian as they stepped over their fallen opponents. They fell into a comfortable silence as they continued their trek, Alphinaud surprised that Estinien hadn't let him go after they left that damned park (Alphinaud now unable to step foot in there without recalling the events of this night), holding him even closer as they walked through the lit streets. Alphinaud was fascinated at how gentle Estinien became following that altercation, curious to the nature of this bipolar dynamic, wondering what separated these two parts of Estinien. He couldn't come up with an answer that night. They separated ways once they arrived at the Leveilleur's home, Alphinaud’s head in shambles, leaving him unable to express all he wanted to say to Estinien. It was an extraordinary day, and Alphinaud would have to wait to speak with him.

That night Alphinaud lied awake, staring up at the walls, recalling the night sky with Estinien at the forefront, his thoughts and emotions swirling over the mysterious young man. Despite his fear, the seeds of curiosity were sown deep in Alphinaud’s mind, who so desperately wanted to understand and solve the riddle of Estinien— to uncover the buried light within his darkness. He would fruitlessly try until sleep caught him, succumbing to abstract dreams that cradled him sweetly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been at a low simmer this entire time, but now it's ready to be served to the kids. But don't get too full, because I'm cooking up dessert :^)
> 
> Moving on from that awful analogy, this chapter.... heh.... took time. I hope you enjoyed it, as I, oh, so enjoyed writing it. Thank you for reading, commenting, and leaving kudos!!


	6. Celestial Intersection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear not the dark clouds swirling about—they do naught to threaten the heavens   
They devour the cosmos only in apparition  
For when the storms pass a celestial intersection shall behold,  
Heralding the coming of divine love.

“How did you manage to break into my locker in the first place?” 

“Break in sounds a bit harsh. I wasn’t robbing you—“ 

“I changed my lock multiple times. Every time you managed to get in and leave those awful chocolates. How?” 

“A-Awful!?” 

“I hate chocolate. But your poems were good—at least to Urianger.” 

“_Why was he reading them..._” Thancred mumbled, utterly defeated. 

The sun began its descent early as Winter made it's arrival long ago. The two teens sat in a warm booth as they tried to make the most of each other’s company. Thancred had resigned to the fact that Y’shtola’s feelings were unyielding and wouldn’t be swayed into romance. He at least aimed to get to know her better—to form a new, platonic relationship. Who knows what the future has in store for them. He'd play the long game.

“Well, this date has told you more about me and I barely know who you. are. Tell me about yourself.” Y’shtola ordered after their brief silence. 

“Oh? I promise there’s nothing interesting about me.” Thancred responded with his typical smile and laugh, Y’shtola cocking her head at his poor diversion. 

“And you’d swear to be the man of my dreams? Spill.” Y’shtola reaffirmed, her genuine curiosity in the boy fueling her inquiry. Thancred sighed in defeat, deciding to agree to her demand. 

“Nothing much. Born and raised in the area. Got a room to myself, so if you ever wanna visit...” Thancred said with a wink, disgusting Y’shtola. 

“_Please_. And your parents are okay with that?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Whether that’s true or not... I am jealous. Matoya would never let me live by myself.” Y’shtola responded. 

“Oh?” 

“Pardon, Matoya’s my adoptive mother. I live with her.” 

“Oh! So you’re not from around here? Makes sense. Must be why you look better than the girls here.” 

Before Y’shtola could assault him he apologized and promised it was only a joke, which she begrudgingly accepted. The two continued going back and forth, Y’shtola slowly learning more about Thancred—at least as much as she could piece together. He was cryptic and was hiding something. Y’shtola tried to respect his privacy but couldn’t help her curiosity. He confessed his love of writing manifested at a young age as he wrote poems and short stories as a child. He dreamed of becoming a singer when he discovered his talent—even promising to sing to Y’shtola, which she insisted wasn’t necessary. He avoided talking about his family, but he accidentally shared more than he intended when he talked about all the odd jobs he's worked. 

“Wait. Were you... homeless?” Y’shtola asked as Thancred continued on, not realizing his slip up. 

“Huh? What makes you think that?” Thancred asked, feigning cluelessness with clear signs of distress in his eyes. Y’shtola furrowed her brows and looked at him, letting him decide to be honest or lie. He knew Y’shtola was too smart to be fooled, so he resigned and decided the former, “yeah. I was.” 

“I see.” Y’shtola quietly responded, her eyes softening at hearing the truth. 

“It’s okay now. That was... quite some ago, actually. It’s something I’m not too fond of—but hey, it toughened me out. I’m good with a knife. A third talent, you could say. I can carve you a nice wood statue if you’d like.” He smiled, trying to be playful with her. It lightened the mood just a little. 

“Well, sometimes it can’t be helped. You’re strong for working it out. Not many can stand tall after such an experience.” Y’shtola offered, her approach genuine as she reassured Thancred, who smiled back fondly, appreciating her kindness. 

“Thank you. Actually,” Thancred started, hesitating before realizing it’s too late to take back what he’s about to say, “that how I met Estinien. On the streets.”

“_Oh_?” 

* * *

“What’s on your mind?” 

“Huh?” 

“When your thinking too hard you start to pout and get quiet. It’s kinda cute.” 

“C-cute!?” Alisaie sputtered, stopping dead in her tracks as she blushed. They were on their weekly walks together around the town (_ absolutely not romantic! Completely platonic! Don't let Alphinaud tell you otherwise _). Her arm had healed enough to where she no longer donned the cast. She was able to go back to school like normal, jumping into her sport and usual activities as if nothing happened. 

“Mhm. So what’s up?” Lyse asked, her smile and curious head tilt defeating Alisaie instantly. 

“W-Well! If you must know...” Alisaie let out before composing herself as the winter breeze chilled her, “I don’t know... Alphinaud’s been a little strange lately. At first I thought it was because of the Estinien ordeal and his and Y'shtola's fallout, but... I don’t know. He’s been way more distant than usual—I practically have to drag him out of his room in the morning. He’s always in there too, which is so unusual of him. And he hid his diary in a new place, so I can’t just read what's going on with him.” 

“Him and Y’shtola had a falling out?” Lyse asked, genuinely surprised. 

“Yeah. I mean, they didn’t argue or actually fight—maybe I chose the wrong word... whatever. Basically, Alphinaud doesn’t want to be friends with her for the time being. That's why we haven't had any group meet-ups lately. It's all awkward. He even gets aggressive toward her.“ 

“Really? He gets moody, yeah, but that's out of character for him.” 

“I know! I figured he was just being a drama queen about it, but I'm not sure anymore.” 

“I’m surprised you haven’t beaten it out of him. What’s stopping you?” 

“I just—“ Alisaie started, before a wave of sadness came over her and her heart sank, “I feel bad. I’ve never seen him look so sad... so... defeated. He’s so... fragile now. A-and I swear I hear him at night too—I don't think he’s sleeping anymore. I’m... I’m really worried about that idiot.” 

“Yeah, I understand,” Lyse tried to console her, embracing her in a tight hug as she tried to hold back tears, “I’m worried now. But if it’s because of Y’shtola then we have to step in. We have to amend their friendship—even if we gotta lock them in a room together. Then we can all beat up Estinien.” 

Alisaie laughed at her final statement, feeling slightly better before sharing her worries as she snuggled into the hug, “But it has to be more than that. Something else has happened I know it! He wouldn't be so depressed over something like that.” 

“Well, when did it you first notice it?” 

Alisaie pondered over it before offering, “Around the time he became friends with Haurchefant. But they’re still friends--they talk all the time.” 

“Why don’t we ask him them? Maybe he knows something?” 

“I-I mean...” Alisaie stuttered, pulling away in embarrassment that she didn’t come up with that herself. “Well, yeah sure, but I doubt we’ll learn anything from him.” 

“Won’t hurt to try. You know how he looks?” 

“Yeah, Alphinaud showed me a picture. He’s an underclassman.” 

“So we'll track him down when we're free and ask him.” 

Alisaie nodded in agreement, and the two girls decided to search for him later on, Lyse seeing it best to comfort her close friend for the time being. 

* * *

** Days Later **

“What a stupid idea.” 

“I concur.” 

“Excuse your rotten mouths! How dare you insult Minfilia in such a way--“ 

“It’s stupid.” 

“YOU’RE STUPID!” Professor Totolymo yelled back at Estinien, who barely blinked in response. Despite his hot demeanor, Papalymo wanted these three fools to work out their situation. Minfilia had appraised him of the situation, that Estinien had promised to bully Alphinaud and Y’shtola quarreled with him on the boy’s behalf. Now all three are in a huddled mess of anger, miscommunication and teenage stupidity that Papalymo wanted nothing more than to fix. After all, this was Minfilia’s "tough" love approach toward getting Estinien friends and teach him a lesson, and Papalymo would happily enforce it, “Minfilia thinks it will help you three get along so get to it.” 

“What’s your... favorite color?” Y’shtola read from the questionnaire they were given, “Really. Who knew Icebreakers could bridge enemies.” 

“Enemies.” Estinien repeated with a laugh, deciding to read through the contents, “that woman thinks we're children.” 

“You are children.” Papalymo hissed, noticing Alphinaud’s lack of presence once again before telling them to answer the question. 

“I don’t have a favorite color. Seems unnecessary.” Y’shtola casually answered. 

“How different.” Estinien mocked, “everyone’s got a favorite color.” 

Y’shtola rolled her eyes, “and what could your’s possibly be?” 

“Blue” Estinien answered honestly, turning his head slightly as if he proved a point. Y’shtola shrugged. 

“Well, there you have it. Alphinaud, yours is blue as well, isn’t it?” She asked, softening her voice when talking to her estranged friend. 

Alphinaud’s tried to speak up, stopping to clear his dry throat before giving the affirmative to her question. He quickly glanced at his two peers before returning his gaze to the questionnaire, dozing off again. 

“See! Everyone shares things in common! All it takes are normal interactions! There are so many ways to connect with your peers!” Papalymo expressed from his desk, fully intending to positively reinforce the kids for doing the activity, only to be glared at by them. 

The rest of their session continued with answering the icebreakers. Minfilia’s hopes ending in vain as it did nothing to bring them closer—or so they thought. Papalymo found that they had stopped their arduous fighting compared to their first day. Their current conflict lied in petty quips and few arguments, but nothing too severe. If anything, they bonded over their frustration with the whole situation, and by extension, Papalymo. He didn’t mind, however, as hating a teacher over a fellow peer is much more healthy for kids their age. He’d happily martyr himself to get these three nincompoops to form a solid friendship. He hates to admit it, but he’s invested in seeing this to the end. 

He would later beam with pride when telling Minfilia his observations of that day, joining her in plotting more ways to get them to coexist peacefully and eventually become friends. 

* * *

“Alphinaud—wait!” Y’shtola called, grabbing her friend before he could run away, “we need to talk.” 

“I can’t—“ 

“No you don’t! I’ve given you as much space as you needed, but now it’s time we talked. I’m sorry—“ 

“Not right now. Please, I have to go.” Alphinaud reasserted, his eyes lackluster and ruthless as he pulled away from her grip, his footsteps resonating in the empty hall as he walked away from his friend—each stomp flattened her heart as he disappeared turning a corner. She stood there, frustration slowly boiling as she heard a whistle as new footsteps made their way to her. 

“Ouch. Unfortunate, but that goes to show how much of a burden friendships are.” Estinien commented, slightly mocking her. This proved to be a grave mistake, as she turned to face Estinien, frustration overflowing in her teary face as she slapped Estinien, filling the vacant hall with its loud collision, "ow—“

“It’s all your fault,” Y’shtola hissed, “you’ll pay for this you bastard. I’ll have you kicked out of this school and back on those streets where you belong—I swear it. You'll regret the day crossed me.” 

Animosity lied with every word spat as she declared her vow—shoving him away before turning to take her leave before she actually beat him up. 

Estinien stood there, seemingly unperturbed by the situation. But looking on at Y’shtola’s face knowing how strong of a person was, those tears truly meant something. She was right—it was Estinien’s fault. But he pitied her lack of insight for he knew what weighed heavy on the boy’s mind. No matter how it’s looked at, what happened that night was his responsibility. He learned his past was inescapable and the more he tried to avoid it, the more others would get hurt. His past—his existence—traumatized Alphinaud. He could only hope Y’shtola would save the boy before it’s too late 

and keep her promise. 

* * *

** A few days later **

_ Estinien you’re the worst! _

_ I can’t believe you would do something like that! _

_ Why didn't either of you tell me!? _

_ You need to apologize to him now! _

_ I don’t care about that! You threatened him and had your friends torment him! No wonder he's so nervous all the time! _

_ It’s absolutely my business! You’re going to apologize to Alphinaud and his friend and make things better between them! _

_ No complaining. You’re gonna do it or else. _

Estinien’s head pounded with the screams of Haurchefant crucifying him. Apparently, Alphinaud's twin sister snitched and told him about the whole situation and Estinien hasn’t known peace since. Every day Haurchefant would hassle him to apologize and make amends for the trouble he caused—but he completely ignored Estinien’s case. After all, Y’shtola did start it. Estinien only responded in kind. Haurchefant wasn’t having any of it, however, and threatened to make his life worse he didn't apologize. Aymeric was already on his ass about it, and having another brother on his case is the absolute last thing he wants. 

So he spent a few days wondering how to go about this. He had to find a way to appease his brother while still maintaining his dignity—and that was no easy feat. Luckily, it seemed Alphinaud didn’t tell Haurchefant about the run with Tioman (Estinien grateful for being spared further from his brother's absolute wrath). However, it worried him that Alphinaud probably didn’t tell his own sister about it given that she’d murder him on sight if she knew. Despite it possibly keeping him alive, this had to mean he was harboring that stress to himself—and Estinien knew how heavy that night weighed on his mind. Such a mundane person like him would be undoubtedly frightened from running into real-life gang members and witness a fight nonetheless. He looked visibly disturbed—as if his soul was sucked out of him and now wanders as an empty vessel, his very life ripped from him.

He knew this was also affecting Y’shtola. And even though he promised to make both their lives miserable, he didn’t intend for it to get this bad--for them to get burned by his past. He thought often about that day she went off on him—the pain in her face as she made her promise to him. She got caught in his fire he lost control of. They both were, and he knew he had to save them or they’d sink deeper into his hell—and no one would survive that.

Given all this to reflect on, Estinien decided it best to talk to the boy first. He was the primary victim and has been falling the longest—every day closer to a point of no return. He would attempt to apologize, but his main concern was to rid him of his anxieties and fears before they consume him. 

* * *

The weekly student government meeting had concluded, the members flocking out leaving just Alphinaud and Haurchefant who ended up joining as Alphinaud’s assistant, much to the frustration of the council. Y’shtola had missed this meeting claiming she had something important to tend to, which Alphinaud paid no mind too. 

“What took you so long, Haurchefant?” Alphinaud asked with his back away from the door. He had asked the boy to retrieve a document from the principal’s office, and was in for quite the surprise when he looked over, “E-Estinien!?” 

He almost lost his balance as he turned to face the taller boy, eyes wide in horror at the surprise, “C-Can I help you?” 

Estinien snickered at his reaction, slowly closing the distance between him and the boy who hopelessly stepped back, “It’s been a while since I’ve made you quiver in fear. You’ve been quite moody lately.” 

“E-Excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Alphinaud shot back, trying to straighten himself up in an act of defiance. It crumbled shortly thereafter when Estinienloomed directly in front of him. One smirk had the Leveilleur shaking again. 

“As easy as it is to torment you it isn’t what I came to do,” Estinien began, his smirk immediately disappearing as his demeanor shifted, “we need to talk. About that night.” 

Alphinaud immediately stiffened, failing to hide his visible discomfort from those eyes, “I-I don’t know what there is to say about that—“ 

“It’s bothering you—“ 

“It’s not—“ 

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” 

“I’m not!” Alphinaud shouted, daring to look Estinien in the eyes and crossing his arms, expecting to see them shine in laughter as they mock him. Instead, they were heavy and unreadable to the boy, “please, I’m in no mood for your antics. Just leave. Haurchefant will be back any moment—“ 

“Don’t worry about him,” Estinien cleared up, “and I’m not here to taunt you. I promise.” 

“Huh?” Alphinaud let out, taken aback by the soft, yet, firm tone. He had to look away as his mind scrambled to understand what any of this meant. 

“You haven’t told anyone of that night, right?” 

“N-No.” 

“Why?” 

“I-I don’t know. I completely forgot about it, it doesn’t matter.” 

“You’re a bad liar, _ pipsqueak _.” Estinien remarked, that nickname making Alphinaud stiffen and twitch in annoyance and embarrassment, “listen. What happened that night was... was extraordinary. Absolute bad luck. Running into Tioman... her men... all of it was the fates playing with us. Playing with me.” 

Estinien had to pause when he saw Alphinaud physically react to hearing Tioman’s name. Normally he would’ve thought it was pathetic, but he understood how scared he must be. He pitied him but continued: 

“You’re smart—you probably figured this out but she was apart of Nidhogg. One of the heads of the gang, actually,” Estinien licked his lips as Alphinaud kept his head low, “it’s no secret that I was associated with them but that ended long ago. Or so I thought. I'd cut ties with them, but that night showed me how inescapable it is—how unavoidable my past is. You... were just so unlucky to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. But that’s what happens when you’re around me.” 

Alphinaud remained unmoved, struggling to take in Estinien’s explanation as he battled his memories of that night—of Estinien fighting again guys armed with weapons and Tioman crushing his charm—completely unsure of where Estinien was going with this. He was in a cyclone of thought until he felt Estinien’s hand squeeze his shoulder, beckoning to look at him. He followed orders in his confused state, looking wide-eyed at Estinien who gazed down at him, a mix of worry and determination in his eyes. 

“Alphinaud,” Estinien spoke, “it’s okay to be scared of what happened—anyone would be. It’s okay to be scared of me. But don’t let it consume you. I promise you it won’t happen again,_ I promise _. There’s no hit list on you—don’t think Tioman is searching for you—you can’t have thoughts like that, okay? It’s my fault you were stuck in that situation—I know it is. And it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re safe—and you are safe. You won’t get hurt again, I promise. I’ll keep you safe.” 

Estinien had finally caught his breath after his speech until Alphinaud crashing into him, burying his face into his chest, the motion blindsiding the tall boy. Alphinaud began to sob—the build-up of all his anxieties and terrors rushing out of him as he cried into Estinien. He hadn’t prepared for this, hesitating for a moment before taking his hand to rub the boy’s head, comforting him as he let out what he's been suppressing from everyone—from his best friends and his sister.

Estinien didn’t intend to say that last part, but he knew deep down he meant it. He would keep Alphinaud safe from that side of him. No one that innocent deserved to experience that carnage—no one except Estinien himself. 

Alphinaud finally settled down, removing himself from Estinien but keeping himself within close proximity. He sniffled as he wiped away the last of his tears, looking up to Estinien as he softly spoke, “thank you... I.. I’m very scared. I-I know I shouldn’t be—like you said it’s my mind exaggerating things I-I know they’re not looking for me... but still...I—“ 

Estinien gripped Alphinaud’s shoulder once again to prevent him from mumbling on, which he swallowed and blushed in embarrassment but appreciated the gesture. The two looked at each other in silence, Alphinaud giving Estinien a small smile in appreciation for his comfort. Estinien’s face softened in response but immediately tensed as he wasn’t finished yet. He cleared his throat before continuing, “uh, yes. I also have something—something for you.” 

Alphinaud raised an eyebrow as Estinien took a small step back to dig into his pocket to retrieve what he was referring to. Alphinaud’s mind once again raced at what Estinien could’ve meant, but he didn’t need to wonder for too long as Estinien held out the object in question. 

“Your... your charm thing got broken right?” Estinien asked, now his turn to feel embarrassed. Looking closely it was obvious his cheeks were turning red, but he’d never admit to it, “I got you a new one.” 

The tension was sliceable in the student council room at that moment. It was utter silence as both boys didn’t know what to do at that moment—Alphinaud realizing in a panic that he had to accept it. He slowly raised his hands and gently latched on to the charm contained within its plastic covering, Estinien immediately releasing his hold on it and bringing his arm to his side. Alphinaud inspected the gift: a blue coeurl kitten charm. He tore his gaze away from it to look up at Estinien, who refused to make eye contact. It wasn’t until he saw Alphinaud looking back down at the charm that he looked back, seeing him smiling at it. 

“Thank you, Estinien.” 

“..._ Whatever_.” 

Alphinaud couldn’t hide his giggles as he grinned ear to ear, eyes bright like stars. Estinien seemed irritated but was admittedly content to see him shine so brightly. He noted his beautiful smile, realizing he's never seen it before. He had grown accustomed to seeing the boy scared or moody and unconsciously wanted to see him smile more. Likewise, Alphinaud appreciated this show of kindness from his bully. Despite things being far from okay between them it made him want to explore this new side to Estinien. He had his own charm--and Alphinaud was completely dazzled by it. They held this dynamic for a short while as they looked at each other without flinching for the first time, a budding excitement dancing between the boys as their stars unknowingly aligned in a spectacular intersection. 

Once Estinien realized he had done out what he set out to do, the apology accepted despite never uttering the words “I’m sorry,” he forced himself away before he got too overwhelmed, stopping at the door to relay his final remarks:

“Tell your sister and Y’shtola what happened. They deserve to know. And if you can’t, and it starts to bother you again,” he took a breath before completing his thought, “find me. It’s better than being alone.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :'D the romance begins 
> 
> Also, Happy Holidays!!!!!! 
> 
> I plan on one more update before the new year so here's hoping I can do it! Just in case I can't I genuinely want to wish everyone a fantastic holiday and an even better new year. Starting this story was one of my best accomplishments of 2019. For the longest I wanted to write and publish again but I was so nervous and uninspired until I got into XIV and now I'm absolutely invigorated to write about this game and its characters. I'm so grateful to everyone who reads Stargazer—it means the world to me to have people reading something I wrote. I hope to keep this upswing in the new year and write more because of how happy its made me—and I hope my writing has somehow made you happy. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading my story and reading this message  
I can't wait for the next chapter!
> 
> (also forgive any errors or misspelling in my writing I proofread and edit like 4 times but some mistakes get into the final product so if you find any that irritate you as much as it does to me please let me know. I go back and update chapters to correct spelling but I'm probably missing a bunch because I'm a blind dummy)


	7. Starlit Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clouds have passed, and now they ascend toward the Heavens. Hold tight, sweet moonlight, for your beauty pales in comparison to these Starlit Spirits. Yet, mighty Earth remains ever close, prepared to cradle their fall.

“Alphinaud you fool! Those are the wrong lights!”   
  
“But you told me to put these ones up!”   
  
“Not over there! Oh, you’re hopeless! Am I gonna have to do everything!?” Alisaie screamed in frustration, Alphinaud’s hands on his hips in annoyance.   
  
“Such ire. Did you forget what these decorations stand for? What their purpose serves?” Urianger interjected to appease both hot-headed twins.   
  
The Starlight Celebration was fast approaching, and everyone was embracing the holiday spirit early this year—people already dressing up to hand out presents on top of adorning their house in seasonal decorations. The Leveilleur house was was always one of the most lavishly decorated ones, passerby’s consistently enamored by it every year. But the twins only had Urianger around to help this time, and their decorations this year would have more red on them if he hadn’t kept the peace...   
  
“Well, I don’t want to have to do _everything_.” Alisaie groaned.   
  
“_Please_. You’re only good at bossing me around. If I left none of it would get done.”   
  
“Oh you’re gonna regret that—“   
  
“_Please_.” Urianger groaned, the twins glaring at each other before yielding, not wanting to bother Urianger.   
  
They continued to decorate, taking advantage of the lack of snow that day. This was usually done with all their closest friends, but Lyse or Y’shtola couldn’t make it. Alphinaud forgot to ask Haurchefant if he’d like to help, so it left the three of them to finish the task.   
  
Despite their recent display, Alisaie was over the moon grateful for this. Urianger was like another brother to her—and, well, her real brother had gotten so much better. He was more like himself—actually spending time with her and not just locking himself away avoiding interaction. As much as she wanted to, she didn’t pry into what caused him to change as it would no doubt make him distant again. She was happy to have her brother back and hope that he’d tell her what’s going on with him. However, she still bothered him to go make up with Y’shtola, not wanting conflict among their group of friends during Starlight. Alphinaud agreed but was nervous to reach out. If he could amend things with Estinien, he reasoned, he would have to apologize and make things right with Y’shtola. The spirit of giving‘s in the air and he wanted to give her back the friend she lost—but he was worried if she’d actually take him back. He figured he’d be okay if she didn’t want to be friends with him anymore, but he was horrified nonetheless.   
  
The rest of the day was filled with accidents, stress, and more fighting, but the three would eventually finish decorating the house in Starlight fashion. They sat in the living area in complete exhaustion, each grateful they survived without resorting to killing each other.   
  
“Grandfather won’t be coming home this year. _Again_.” Alisaie commented to break the silence.   
  
“Quite unfortunate. I’m sorry to hear that, Alisaie.” Urianger responded, the mood shifting.  
  
“It’s quite alright—It’s not like we can do anything about it” Alphinaud chimed in, “We’re used to it anyhow. And I know we’ll get our presents one way or another. Plus we’ll call him—“   
  
“_I know_,” Alisaie interjected Alphinaud’s pointless musings. An awkward silence followed as no one knew what to say. The boys knew how sensitive Alisaie got when it came to Louisoix and the signs of when to stop talking about him. It was Alisaie herself who broke the silence when she cleared her throat and sat up, “we need to plan our party.”   
  
“Plan?” Alphinaud asked.   
  
“Well yeah, we need to plan our party.”   
  
“We do it every year, what could there be to plan for? Just rinse and repeat.”   
  
“Well then let’s shake it up this year. Let’s do something different. Plus we’re gonna have to revise our invite list if you don’t make up with a certain someone.”   
  
“I already said I will! Don’t worry about it.”   
  
“You’ve still not apologized to Y’shtola?” Urianger asked, eyeing the boy.   
  
“I know, I know. I’m going to. Soon. I promise. She’s not mad at me, is she?” Alphinaud weaseled in the question knowing how close she and Urianger are.   
  
“Far from it. I guarantee she’ll be over the moon to have you back. She may hold you to it from now on, but only to tease.” Urianger answered.   
  
Alphinaud was opening his mouth before Alisaie suddenly gasped, “Alcohol! We should totally have alcohol!”   
  
“HUH?” Alphinaud and Urianger asked in unison, eyeing the madwoman as she smiled at her bright idea.   
  
“Alcohol at our party! That’ll definitely shake things up—“   
  
“It’s a holiday party.”   
  
“We’re minors”   
  
Both boys said at the same time, Alisaie cringing at their reasoning.   
  
“Screw that. It’s our holiday party. And grandfather's not gonna be here so might as well make the most of it.”   
  
“But where would we acquire alcohol? We are not of age.” Urianger asked, intrigued.   
  
“Y-You’re not actually considering it, Urianger?” Alphinaud asked in disbelief, the tall boy shrugging in response.   
  
“I’m open to the idea.”   
  
“Now we’re talking!” Alisaie cheered, spring up from her seat, “we’re gonna get alcohol and I’ll ask Lyse to bring her big speaker and it’ll be a _real_ party. We’ll really celebrate Starlight this year.”   
  
Alphinaud questioned everything at that moment as his sister laughed wickedly. Even Urianger went along with it, confusing the boy even more.   
  
Just what in the seven hells was the Leveilleurs' Starlight Celebration becoming? 

* * *

  
  
“THE DOOR!”   
  
“I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Who?”   
  
“It’s me.”   
  
“Alphinaud?” Y’shtola opened the door, blindsided by his arrival, “what are you doing here? It’s so cold.”   
  
“Sorry.” Alphinaud whispered as she let him in, helping him get settled as he tried to remove snow from his hair.   
  
“It’s quite alright. I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all.”   
  
“Yeah. I was... hoping we could talk.”   
  
“I thought that was my line. Come.” She quipped, guiding him into her apartment, “Matoya! It’s a friend!”   
  
Alphinaud quietly smiling at hearing her refer to him as a friend as he heard vicious shuffling approaching them.   
  
“Who?!” The woman asked as she entered the room, “friend—oh! Why if it isn’t Alisaie.”   
  
Both teens twitched, “No, it’s—“   
  
“My, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. What a beautiful young woman you’ve become—much like Y’shtola! You must be tired of fighting off boys left and right.” Matoya laughed, waddling toward them to tightly embrace ‘Alisaie.’   
  
“It’s Alphinaud. I know your legs are bad but your mind—“   
  
“Shut it, girl.” Matoya snapped at her daughter, pulling away from Alphinaud to closely examine him, “no way. There’s no logical way it’s the boy... _So feminine, so beautiful_.”   
  
“Happy Starlight to you, Miss Matoya.” Alphinaud said in his deepest tone, halting Matoya’s ramblings.   
  
“Oh, it is the boy.” She said unimpressed, letting him go, “well how do you do Alphonse—“   
  
“_Alphinaud_.” Yshtola corrected, “You crazy woman—“   
  
“_Alphinaud_,” Matoya continued, “it’s so nice to see you too. You’ve grown up... as well. Send my best to your family this Starlight.”   
  
She waddled away, leaving Alphinaud annoyed. He remembered why he stopped visiting Y’shtola’s house.  
  
“Excuse her. She loves to tease.”   
  
“I know—I remember.” Alphinaud spat, shaking his head and turning to Y’shtola, smiling, “but it’s good to see you. It’s been a while.”   
  
“That it has. Let’s go to my room.” Y’shtola offered, her estranged friend nodding. The school had closed for the holiday break so this was the first time they’ve seen each other since. The awkwardness was there as the two entered her room, Y’shtola taking a seat on her bed, offering Alphinaud to sit in her chair, which he declined.   
  
“No, no. I don’t have the right to make myself comfortable in your house. Not until I apologize—“ Alphinaud began as Y’shtola tried to interrupt him, “no, please let me finish. You’ve been trying to apologize for something that’s not your fault—something that I made you feel was your fault. Something that I admittedly blamed on you... But it’s not. You can disagree all you want, but I won’t blame you for trying to defend the school—for defending me! Not anymore.   
  
I was frustrated. At you. At Estinien. _At myself_. I was so mad—I really thought I was cursed as if the gods were punishing me. Heh... Alisaie’s right, I’m so overdramatic. And that’s what happened, I made everything worse than what it was. Yeah, I was being bullied, but I had support—I had you. Every time I was shoved I had you to catch me, and then I decided to turn on you—to push you away. That was so wrong—so _fucking_ wrong. I was cruel, and I treated you so badly when all you wanted was to make me feel better. I’m the worst, I’m the godsdamn worst—“   
  
Alphinaud would ramble on about his own awfulness if Y’shtola hadn’t jumped to embrace him as he struggled to hold his tears. He had no right to cry, not when he was in the wrong and begging for forgiveness. He apologized profusely in her shoulder, almost deaf to what she had to say.   
  
“Alphinaud, it’s okay. I’ll accept your apology, but there’s nothing to forgive. We’ve been friends for years now, I know how you get. And Alisaie is right, you’re overdramatic. You did faint when Estinien said he’d hurt you.” Y’shtola joked, Alphinaud ironically pushing her away in embarrassment, rubbing his eyes as she laughed. She reached out to pat the boy’s head fondly as she continued, “I’m sorry. I really am. I acted without thinking and my recklessness escalated things. It wasn’t my place to threaten Estinien knowing how dangerous he was, but I did because I was overzealous for a challenge. I know you don’t think I need to apologize for it, but I’m going to until you forgive me—“   
  
“You’re forgiven. Now hug me.” Alphinaud snapped immediately, which had Y’shtola grinning as she embraced her friend once more, the two officially hugging it out. They remained that way as they thanked each other, so happy to have finally spoken and clarified things between them.   
  
“You know, I slapped Estinien.” Y’shtola added as she released Alphinaud.   
  
“R-Really? When?” Alphinaud asked, surprised.   
  
“After one of our sessions together. I got mad and let it out on him.”   
  
“No way... I... I punched him.”   
  
“_What_?”   
  
“Yeah...” Alphinaud rubbed the back of his neck as Y’shtola stared at him in disbelief. This time he decided to sit down on her bed as he explained what led up to that scene...   
  
“Unbelievable... no wonder you thought you were cursed. To think your friend would be his brother...” Y’shtola commented.   
  
“Yeah.” Alphinaud whispered, suddenly nervous as the memory of running into Tioman was attached with him hitting Estinien.   
  
“Then I’ll have to work faster to get him expelled and arrested. He’ll have to hurt you after that—if he hasn’t already?” Yshtola asked, quickly becoming worried at the thought of Estinien doing something worse to him, but she met an alarmed Alphinaud who was staring at her wildly, “what? He hasn’t, has he?”   
  
“No, no,” Alphinaud quickly answered, “what do you mean... arrested?”   
  
“He’s a gang member. You’ve undoubtedly heard of Nidhogg, right? He was a founder.”   
  
It took a moment for that to sink in. Estinien told him he was associated with them before, but not the founder, “W-What? How do you know?”   
  
“I’d rather not say, but if he was a founder of that group then I have to notify the police. It’s very serious—very dangerous.”   
  
“N-No, there’s no way.”   
  
“What?”   
  
“Y’shtola that’s crazy—there’s no way! You can’t get him arrested—_you can’t!_”   
  
“Alphinaud, what’s the matter with you? If he’s a leader of Nidhogg then he needs to be arrested—“   
  
“He’s not! He told me he left them.”   
  
“Oh? And why is that?”   
  
They stared at each intensely, Y’shtola confused at what Alphinaud was saying as he panicked over this situation. He couldn’t let Y’shtola get him arrested—that’s completely insane! But she kept staring at him, asking what he meant. His stomach turned as he recollected that night, but he knew he had to stop Y’shtola. Plus, Estinien told him to tell her, so he did. He explained to her what happened that night after he punched Estinien. She listened, reacting appropriately as he retold the events.   
  
“Alphinaud... I didn’t know... this can’t go on—he put you in danger. He needs to be put away—“   
  
“Listen to me! He saved me that night! Why would he fight against his own people if he was apart of them? Y’shtola, you have to believe me! I was so scared—heck, I’m still kind of scared—but Estinien isn’t the problem! He’s more than that—he’s... just look...” He took out his blue coeurl charm, proudly holding it up to Y’shtola, “that girl broke my carbuncle charm—the one Alisaie and I had since childhood. I was devastated... and I couldn’t even look at my backpack without thinking about how it’s missing—how it was taken from me. But Estinien got me this one, a replacement for the one I lost. He gave it to me when he apologized for everything. He gave this to me to remind me that I’m safe—that he’d keep me safe. A-And I believe him, ‘Shtola, _I believe him_.”   
  
Alphinaud was left breathless, his face red from arguing his point. All Y’shtola did was raise an eyebrow at how passionate Alphinaud was. Instead of replacing the spot the original charm was, Alphinaud had been keeping it on him like a protection charm—the manifestation of Estinien’s vow to him. Y’shtola couldn’t help but pity her friend for his behavior, having certain inklings as to why he felt so keen on believing his former bully. But she knew he had no reason to lie, and was nonetheless shocked at the whole ordeal.   
  
“So he apologized to you... to think that was within the realm of probability that he’d feel remorse...” Y’shtola pondered out loud.   
  
“I’ll repeat it as many times as I must—there’s more to him, Y’shtola, there’s so much more. Maybe Principal Warde was right, we were the ignorant ones. We can befriend him—and maybe change him—“   
  
“Either you’ve come to fancy anthropology or you’ve developed a crush Alphinaud, but you’ve made a complete one-eighty that not even I foresaw. A charm won’t rectify the damage he’s done.”   
  
“C-crush!?”   
  
“I can’t say I’m surprised.”   
  
“I do NOT have a crush—what made possibly think that? There’s no way—NO WAY—that’s true. You’re just teasing me—y-you can’t seriously think that.”   
  
“I’ve missed you so much.”   
  
“What—?” He gasped as she trapped him in another hug, smothering him.   
  
“_Don’t change_...” The girl whispered as she embraced her friend who squirmed under her, not ready to changed subjects until he properly defended himself. He composed himself and tried to cover his red face once she let him go.   
  
“Crushes are childish. I’ve no inclinations—“   
  
“Let me rephrase: you’re attracted to Estinien—“   
  
“I AM NOT! Sure he’s handsome but I’m not attracted to him.” he huffed, crossing his arms as if he proved his point. Y’shtola burst out in laughter as he shot himself in the foot, “_what_?”   
  
Y’shtola’s laugh was music to his ears—something so rare but spectacular that he couldn’t help but soften up at seeing her roll in bed struggling to breathe. She kept trying to excuse herself but failed miserably, Alphinaud turning around and hunching in defeat as he sat at the edge of the bed, a small smile on his face. Eventually, she settled down, sighing as she regained her composure, her smaller friend still brooding at being taunted. She smiled fondly, sisterly instincts kicking in as she gently poked his back.   
  
“I know you, Alphinaud. But I’ll take your word for it. It seems our fates are tied with Estinien for quite a while, so I won’t report him any time soon. I’ll... try to see him as unbiased as you have, but I have my own issues with him. And as such, I’m still going to look into this gang business—and if I find anything or if something happens that directly harms the school and he’s involved I will report him. However, I won’t forgive him. Not yet. I’ll play nice for your sake.   
  
“...Thank you,” Alphinaud responded, turning around to look at Y’shtola, “I hope I’m right.”   
  
Y’shtola hummed her agreement, closing her eyes before opening them with a mischievous look, “are you going to ask him out?”   
  
“ENOUGH!” Alphinaud squeaked, turning around, once again flustered.   
  
“What? I don’t see the problem. He’s attractive. Go for it.”   
  
“_Please_. I think you see the problem clearer than anyone else. Don’t tease me on this.”   
  
She shrugged, “should you desire him I won’t stop you. Though I don’t think Alisaie or any one of our friends for that matter would be as supportive as me.”   
  
“You don’t—“ Alphinaud began his query before he snapped around to look at Y’shtola, struggling to understand if she was joking or being serious, “you wouldn’t be okay with... with that, would you?”   
  
“I’m not your mother. As long as he proves to be as noble as you say he is and not a danger to you I won’t mind. But we have to consider if he’s even attracted to the same sex. Then again, that’s never stopped you. So smart but so dumb when it comes in romance—“   
  
“I don’t know why we’re talking about this. I am smart, and I know better. I do.” Alphinaud reaffirmed, turning away as reality struck. He looked down at the charm that was still in his hands. He was attracted to Estinien before they ever spoke, which didn’t change even after he terrorized him. So imagine how he felt after Estinien apologized and gave him such a thoughtful gift. He had enough days since to come to terms that he has a crush on Estinien. A big crush. And the things Haurchefant spilled about his older brother didn’t help either...   
  
“So you’d defer to your mind’s will rather than your heart’s desires?” Y’shtola genuinely asked, striking a chord in the small boy. He would set aside this major decision for a later date, not wanting to wallow in such a heavy question at the moment. Instead, he’d turn the subject on his friend.   
  
“Oh? Since you’re in such a mood to talk about boys and romance, what about you? And don’t act coy—none of that _I’m not attracted to anyone_ nonsense. Spill.”   
  
Y’shtola smirked to the boy’s forwardness, deciding to play along, “well, Alphinaud, you know my studies are a priority above all things. I don’t check out boys as feverishly as you do. I’ve seen all there is to them,” Alphinaud rolled his eyes at hearing her recycled excuse, “but, if you must know, since we took our... break, I’ve been going out with Thancred.”   
  
“Thancred? _The Poet_?” Alphinaud asked, completely astonished by this update.   
  
“Not-not romantically. He’s not my boyfriend—gods no. Nor do I have any feelings for him. I just needed a distraction from what was going on and he fitted perfectly into it. He’d take me out on dates and such, but we mostly just talk. And, I admit I’ve grown quite used to it. I’ve... skipped council meetings to accompany him.”   
  
Alphinaud’s mouth was open in awe at her admission, shaking his head before responding, “I-wow, yeah, okay, uh... I’m shocked, but, wow. That’s... unlike you.”   
  
“I know. I was feeling charitable. But, I think I was the one that needed the help.”   
  
“_Y'shtola_...”   
  
“Don’t feel bad. It’s in the past now. I’m just being honest.”   
  
“I guess... what do you guys talk about anyway? And is he creepy? He hasn’t tried anything, has he?”   
  
“No, he hasn’t. He’s just too flirty. But he’s harmless. And we mostly talk about ourselves and stuff.”   
  
“Stuff? What’s with the ambiguity?”   
  
“What? It’s like how we talk about boys. It’s just stuff. Sharing opinions and all that.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah. Good for you that you’re finally exploring the possibility of romance.”   
  
“_No_, there’s no possibility of that happening.”   
  
“Well then there’s no possibility of me and Estinien happening either.”   
  
“Hmph. Such lonely lives we live, then?” Y’shtola quipped, the two sharing a laugh as they fell into a comfortable silence. She didn’t want to admit to him that Thancred was her source in learning more about Estinien—the one that put her on the quest to uncover his truth. Though Alphinaud was on a similar journey, she knew they both headed down different paths with different goals in mind. Now, however, she hoped that Alphinaud was right and Estinien would prove to be as good as he thought.   
  
“I doubt you’d be shocked to hear this but we’re throwing the annual party for Starlight at our house. You’re obviously invited. We didn’t plan it earlier because of what happened between us. But I know Alisaie will be thrilled to know we made up.”   
  
“Good. I was wondering if it was still happening.”   
  
“Yeah. It’s just us, and I’ve invited Haurchefant too. But it gets even better. Since my grandfather won’t be here, Alisaie wants to make it wild—completely forgetting the whole point of our party. She wants to get alcohol. I know it’s her coping with our grandfather’s absence again but that’s a little extreme don’t you think? Even Urianger was for it!”   
  
“I think that’s a fine idea. Though, I can’t imagine how we’d acquire it.”   
  
“What!? Y-You’re okay with it too?”   
  
“Why not? I won’t drink, but I don’t see why we can’t have it if we can get it.”   
  
“We’re underage. _It’s illegal._” Alphinaud viscously whispered, trying to put some sense back into his friend.   
  
“And we only live once, Alphinaud. Even I’m not that boring. We’re teenagers, let’s enjoy our youth as best we can.”   
  
“You can't be serious...” Alphinaud groaned, utterly confused. Maybe he was being too uptight about it. Y’shtola was right, they are still young and they should be able to have fun. And they’re not irresponsible, they’d be able to handle alcohol at a Starlight party—and adults usually drink at them anyway. Alphinaud sighed in defeat, “oh, what the heck. How in the world can we possibly get alcohol?”   
  
“I’m sure your delinquent prince could acquire some. Though I doubt he’d be willing to share.”   
  
“_Please_. No more teasing.”   
  
“I’m not. At least partly. He could get us some. Since you two are so close now, you might as well ask him.”   
  
“What!? Where are you getting these ideas from? There’s no way Estinien would do that for us—for me.”   
  
“Since his brother's going just invite him as well. I’d imagine Alisaie and, by extension, Lyse, would be even more thrilled to find out he’d be coming. But if you explain the situation and he goes through with it then maybe it’ll work out. At the minimum, he’d just have to deliver it. No harm, no foul. It’ll be a step in the right direction if you absolutely want to be _friends_ with him.”   
  
“You just love inciting drama, don’t you.”   
  
“I’m thinking objectively to make Alisaie’s dream come to true. Plus, they say to keep your enemies closer.” she winked.   
  
Alphinaud rolled his eyes, “I’ll consider it.”   
  
“Anyway, you were going to have to tell your sister what happened. You wouldn’t want to celebrate Starlight by withholding such information. The sooner, the better.”   
  
“Yeah...” Alphinaud gulped, quivering at the idea of facing Alisaie, “you’re right. She deserves to know.” 

* * *

  
“So, what are you gonna do for Starlight?”   
  
“Sleep.”   
  
“Pfft, that’s so boring! You’re not gonna spend time with your friends? Give to the children? Spread holiday cheer? Don’t be such a grinch, Estinien!”   
  
“I hate kids. And that includes brats like you. Leave me alone if you’re going to bother me.” Estinien spat, irritated that his room was invaded by his pesky younger brother.   
  
“Oh Estinien,” Haurchefant complained, sitting down on the corner of his bed, next to Estinien’s sprawled body, “it’s not good to be alone during the holidays. Aymeric would want us to celebrate together—“   
  
“I don’t care about what he wants. Leave me alone.” Estinien said with finality, turning away from his brother to signal the end of the conversation.   
  
“You’re not as hopeless as you think you are.” Haurchefant mumbled, “well, I’ve been invited to a party! I’m so excited, I’ve never been to one before!”   
  
Haurchefant waited for Estinien to ask about it in hopes that his older brother instincts would kick in. They didn’t, and Haurchefant was sorely disappointed when is brother barely moved a muscle—he even heard a snore or two. He bit his cheek as he thought of ways to get his brother interested until a bulb went off in his head. He cleared his throat before continuing:   
  
“Alphinaud invited me. I’m so happy I get to spend time with someone as nice as him, and not a mean grouch like you,” He got an ear twitch from his older brother, causing the younger boy to grin as he continued, “He was so worried you wouldn’t let me go, but I told him you wouldn’t dare stop me. It’s always my way, after all.”   
  
“Excuse me?” Estinien threatened from his spot.   
  
“Yeah. I’m the baby after all! I told him how I managed to get you to dress up like a reindeer last year. He didn’t believe me so I sent him pictures—“   
  
“YOU WHAT!?” Estinien screamed, sitting up to stare at his brother, eyes wild in anger.   
  
“Mhm.” Haurchefant smiled, feigning oblivion to Estinien’s anger.   
  
“Why the hell would you do that.” Estinien gritted his teeth, ready to beat up his idiot brother.   
  
“He didn’t believe me. He thought it was so cute~” Haurchefant teased, knowing he hit a nerve as his brother got red in embarrassment.   
  
“He has no reason to know about that, Haurchefant.”   
  
“Oh relax, you won’t find that picture around Seventh Dawn, Alphinaud’s trustworthy. We talk about you all the time~”   
  
“What? Why?”   
  
“I dunno. Ever since you apologized to him he’s changed his tune about you. He’s not scared of you anymore—which is good. There’s no reason he should be scared of my dumb older brother. He likes you now, well, sorta.”   
  
“Likes? What are you on about?”   
  
“Well I think he thinks you’re cool since you’re all mysterious and edgy, but I’m always telling him how much of a dork you are,” Haurchefant giggled, Estinien ready to pulverize him at any moment, “but he definitely thinks better about you. After all, you did get him that present, which I thought was the sweetest thing. I didn’t ask you to do that, but you did (check if accurate lol).   
  
“That’s—why did he tell you?” Estinien asked, flustered.   
  
“I asked,” Haurchefant answered honestly, “that was really nice of you, Estinien. It meant a lot to Alphinaud, your kindness. He even—ah, never mind.”   
  
“What? Out with it.”   
  
“Well,” Haurchefant chuckled, “he asked me for your phone number.”   
  
“_He did?_ Why?”   
  
“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him when he calls you~”   
  
That wasn’t all Alphinaud asked, but Haurchefant figured Estinien didn’t need to know now—he’d find out soon enough. He was hoping they could somehow become friends. Estinien was so lonely, only ever socializing with his brothers and the small number of people who hung out with him. He was so happy they managed to work out their issues—even if just a little. A few days after it happened Alphinaud had finally come clean to him about the whole debacle between them. He knew of Estinien’s troubled past and was just grateful Alphinaud didn’t turn away from his brother like so many others have. It didn’t save poor Alphinaud from dealing with Hurchefant’s fury for lying to him, however. He’d pray for them this Starlight, hoping that through a miracle these two could explore a friendship—anything to bring them closer together. He had a feeling it would come true, and that surely brought a smile to his face.   
  
“If I find out you tell him more stuff _I’ll kill you_. Now get out of my room before I get impatient.” Estinien threatened, Haurchefant just laughing at his frustration. He smiled at his brother as he took his leave, just stopping before closing the door.   
  
“Give him a chance. I think you’ll like him.”   
  
Estinien glared at his brother until he left, keeping up his front of anger over the situation. He was irritated, yes, but he couldn’t say he was surprised his brother would do such a thing. He was an open book after all, happily sharing everything about him and his family—at least the shareable things.   
  
Estinien fell back on his bed, sighing in defeat. His mind wondered about what Alphinaud could want from him. He figured it was about that night—maybe something else happened? Maybe he succumbed to the fear again? Hadn’t he told his friends? Estinien didn’t know, but he was worried. He wished his brother didn’t tease as much, but all he could do was speculate until Alphinaud called him. He made sure his phone would notify him as he impatiently waited for the call. His mind continued to think about the boy.   
  
_Oh Alphinaud, what could you need me for? Probably something stupid, considering he’s dumb enough to forgive me. And what does Haurchefant mean I’ll ‘like’ him? I don’t hate the pipsqueak but I don’t want to be friends with him. What could he possibly offer me? More headaches, no doubt... what even compelled me to get him that stupid charm? Kindness? Please. I just... saw it for sale and figured it would be useful. Get him to stop crying and brooding all the time and smile again. Yeah, smile... _  
  
Estinien continued down a spiral of thoughts surrounding Alphinaud. He couldn’t help but visualize his smile and laugh when he got the charm: how pure both had been. How beautiful he looked. How lonely he was... He’d hope the boy had been doing better over the holidays, that Starlight would cheer him up and make him happy—make him smile more. They were still kids after all, and Estinien would happily give up his own smile to make up for the one he took from Alphinaud. So when his phone rang he leaped up to get it, letting the unknown number ring a while before picking it up.   
  
“Speak.”   
  
“_H-Hello? Estinien?_”   
  
“What?”   
  
“_I-It’s me, Alphinaud_.”   
  
“I know.”   
  
“_So sorry to disturb you I—_“ there was a pause, Alphinaud struggling on how to go about this before rambling on, “_Haurchefant gave me your number. I-I asked for it. I’m sorry for doing that, you probably didn’t want me to have it but I didn’t know how else to reach you and I didn’t—_“   
  
“Out with it,” Estinien interjected, the boy sputtering before apologizing profusely, Estinien rolling his eyes but secretly enjoying it, “enough. What’s the problem. Is it about that night?”   
  
“_N-No. I haven’t—I’m better, I think. I actually called to ask a favor..._” Alphinaud admitted, a long pause following as he waited for Estinien to respond, only getting a grunt from him to continue, which he did. He explained the situation as best he could, Estinien listening closely, “_I know it’s a big favor, and it’s very last minute—and frankly, out of the blue, but I’d appreciate it. And I’d owe you big time. A-And you’re more than welcome to join us_.”   
  
Estinien took time to ponder his request, blindsided but intrigued, “I see... well, you came to the right person. Though I doubt how happy your sister would be to see me, or any of your friends.”   
  
“_About that..._” Alphinaud began, “_I-I told them. About what happened—as you said to. It... was tough, and they were mad. Some more than others... but they understood. I told them we talked it out, and they trust me in trusting you. Kind of... I can’t promise Alisaie won’t do anything but you are invited to our party. I know it’s sudden, but Haurchefant wants you to go and I agree with him. You’ll need to watch him—but if you don’t want him to drink I’ll make sure he doesn’t! But... I’d like you to come. I really would..._”   
  
Estinien took in what he said, both of them slightly embarrassed by the little confession. Estinien didn’t know how to feel about being wanted, but he was flattered, wasting little time in making his decision, “hm... I’ll get you the alcohol. Though I’m not fond of parties—especially those where I don’t belong.”   
  
“_Estinien..._” Alphinaud whispered, not intending for him to hear before speaking up, “_I-It’s okay! You don’t have to stay the entire time. Just... for an hour or so, okay?_”   
  
“I am going to have to monitor my brother...” Estinien thought out loud, “whatever. I’ll see how I feel. But I’ll get what you need. Any more illegal substances? Cigarettes? Drugs?”   
  
“_N-No!_” Alphinaud squeaked, “_N-Nothing of the sort!_”   
  
“I’m just teasing, _pipsqueak_.”   
  
“_I—oh... okay..._” Alphinaud shivered at the name as Estinien chuckled, the two falling into silence, hearing only each other breathe, waiting for the other to say something. Estinien eventually spoke up.   
  
“Well, if that’s all—“   
  
“_Y-Yeah! Thank you so much! I’ll text you the details._”   
  
“Mhm.”   
  
“_Thanks... have a good night, Estinien._”   
  
“You too, Alphinaud.” 

* * *

  
_**Party time **_  
  
“So Thancred, tell us about yourself.”   
  
“Oh, I promise there’s nothing interesting to say about me.”   
  
“He’s lying, Lyse. He has too many stories he’s desperate to share.”   
  
“H-Hey!”   
  
“What? I’m being honest. He won’t stop talking once he gets started.” Y’shtola teased, giving a small smile as Lyse gave a little laugh, Thancred once again at the butt of her jokes.   
  
“That’s perfectly fine, I’m all ears!” Lyse reassured.   
  
“Oh I wouldn’t want to bore you, sweetheart.” Thancred responded, smirking at his self-perceived smoothness. Y’shtola laughed as Lyse barely moved in response. It wasn’t until Alisaie peered into his view that he knew he messed up, seeing her eyes red with fury as she stormed her way toward him. Alphinaud swore he saw his twin drag Thancred away but didn’t pay attention while he was chatting with Urianger.   
  
The interior of the house was beautifully decorated—festive lights, decorations, and plushies adorned the rooms. A beautiful tree stood in the corner of the living area surrounded by presents the bought for each other as festive music loudly played from Lyse’s speaker. Appetizers were passed around as the main food waited to be heated for serving later. They were all chatting, enjoying each other’s company—most picking at Thancred who was a surprise guest at Y’shtola’s behest. He was her last-minute plus one, but they nevertheless received him warmly. She’d hope to introduce and familiarize Thancred with the rest of her friends given that he’s so lonely—especially during Starlight considering he had no family to celebrate with. So she was very ecstatic to see him socialize and feel welcomed as a new member of their group. The only people they were waiting on were the brothers, Alphinaud wondering what Estinien’s choice was. Once they heard the doorbell, the two twin hosts dashed to welcome the last guests.   
  
“Happy Starlight!” Haurchefant chirped when the twins opened the door, Estinien scowling behind him. The twins greeted them in, “I’ve brought the cake! And Estinien has _the goods_.”   
  
They were let in, Haurchefant leaving to drop the cake off in the kitchen, loudly greeting everyone else as he passed by. The twins remained at the entrance of the house, accidentally cornering Estinien. Alphinaud smiled as Alisaie glared, the tall boy looking unfazed between the two Leveilleurs.   
  
“Your drinks.” Estinien monotonously said, holding out the bag of the assorted beverages they asked for.   
  
“Thank you so much!” Alphinaud said merrily, trying to lighten the tension between his sister and Estinien as he accepted the bag, which was admittedly heavier than he expected.   
  
“Here.” Alisaie began as she offered money to repay Estinien, “I... appreciate it. But don’t think I’m not gonna beat you up.”   
  
“Alisaie, please—“   
  
“That’s fine. Keep the money,” Estinien responded coolly, provoking the girl as Alphinaud gulped, “consider it a gift. An apology, if you will.”   
  
“Oh? I didn’t know you were so giving, Estinien.” She responded coldly, her glare firm.   
  
“‘Tis the season, or whatever.” Estinien halfheartedly joked. Surprisingly, he wasn’t looking for conflict. He was trying to make amends anyway he could, and this interaction was a clear indication that would not be happening tonight.   
  
“Alisaie, don’t antagonize him. He did us the favor, let’s be thankful and welcome him properly.” Alphinaud began, trying his hardest to mediate the situation.   
  
“It’s fine. I’ll leave.”   
  
“What? Why!?” Alphinaud asked in a panic as Estinien turned to take his leave, almost dropping the drinks from his hand as he reached out to grab him, “don’t go! Please, Estinien.”   
  
Estinien tried to pull away from him, but Alisaie just groaned, “oh don’t be such a pansy Estinien. Stay, or Alphinaud will pout over it for the rest of the night. He clearly sees something in you I don’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of corners in the house for you to brood in if you need to. But stay, or Alphinaud might cry.”   
  
“I would never do such a thing! Why would you say that, Alisaie?!”   
  
“It’s true. Now c’mon before the others get suspicious. I want to get drunk.” Alisaie said, turning to walk away from the boys, leaving Estinien to face a blushing Alphinaud.   
  
“I-I’m sorry for Alisaie’s remarks she’s just trying to be annoying. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, I don’t want to force you to do something uncomfortable. Just... thank you for coming and doing us this favor.”   
  
“_Whatever_.” Estinien complained, pulling away from the boy's grip to walk into the house, much to Alphinaud’s surprise. He followed suit, the bottles clashing as he moved behind the tall boy, almost crashing into him when he turned the corner into the heart of the party. It fell silent as they all looked at Estinien, Alphinaud peering behind him, awkwardly smiling. They all knew he was invited in the first place, save for Thancred, who was taken by surprise.  
  
“W-What the hell are you doing here?” Thancred asked frantically.   
  
“I’d ask the same, Thancred.” Estinien asked, cocking his head.   
  
“Good gods I completely forgot... they’re not gonna fight again, are they?” Lyse whispered, tensing up in anticipation. Others reacted similarly, save for Y’shtola, Urianger, and Haurchefant, who knew the truth. The white-haired girl nudged Thancred to do something to clear the air, which he did with a smirk.   
  
“Well, call it a Starlight miracle. I wasn’t expecting to see an old friend here. I haven’t spoken to you since our... little show. Good to see you’ve made up with these fine people.”   
  
“Hmph. Can’t say I’m surprised you chasing tail would bring you here. But, you’ve always had a knack for crossing my path.” Estinien said back, the two boys in a stare off as the party looked on.   
  
“Estinien you have a bad habit of fighting with your friends. Why is it so hard for you to be nice?” Haurchefant commented, inciting smirks and quiet laughs, Thancred particularly unable to contain his enjoyment when Estinien gave a side-eye glare to his brother.   
  
“Oh there’s nothing _that_ bad between us,” Thancred clarified, closing the distance to pat Estinien’s shoulder, turning to smile at everyone, “we’re thick as thieves.”   
  
“So you two are friends?” Alisaie asked, genuinely curious at this revelation.   
  
“We have history. Though Estinien would never refer to us like that.” Thancred shrugged, Estinien closing his eyes in slight annoyance.   
  
“I have so many questions... I swear this situation gets weirder and weirder...” Alisaie mumbled.   
  
“At least it keeps us entertained. We’d be so boring if things like this didn’t happen to us.” Lyse reasoned, the friends laughing at that.   
  
Urianger was uncharacteristically festive when he cheerfully spoke up, “I say we cheer to that—our curiously weird friendship!”   
  
“Hell yeah! Let’s get those drinks rolling!” Alisaie shouted, jumping up to take the bag from her brother, running into the kitchen to get to work. They all laughed, the atmosphere now reflecting the merriness of the season. Thancred left Estinien to his own devices, finishing a story about his life to Lyse and Haurchefant. Afterward, he decided to speak to Alphinaud and Uriager, becoming friends with them, especially with Urianger who took a fascination with his poetry and wanted to learn more. Y’shtola was quietly eating up the appetizers despite it going against her diet, happily observing Thancred make friends. Lyse and Haurchefant spoke on their hobbies and interest, eventually making plans to go jogging around the school one day after finding a mutual interest in running. Lighthearted chatting and laughter blending with the music as Estinien decided to aid Alisaie in the kitchen, teaching her how to properly mix drinks much to her chagrin. She learned fast, however, both awed and fearful of his expertise on the subject. They eventually walked back in with a full assortment of drinks to choose from, interrupting Urianger reciting his favorite scenes to the party, saving them from what could’ve been hours of “acting.”   
  
“Alright! Everyone got a drink?” Alisaie asked, the party holding up glasses full of their creations, “Wonderful. Now listen up! I want to thank everyone for attending our party this year—my friends, you know how much I fucking love you guys. You mean the world to me and I’m so grateful to share this holiday with you all. To those joining us for the first time: welcome, it’s nice to have you. From the sweetest boy to the worst flirt in history, and even to the devil himself, who would’ve thought you’d be here with us, huh? Like Urianger said this is a pretty strange Starlight, but that’s to be expected when it comes to us. And no matter what, we’ll always be together, and I just can’t wait for next year’s! Cheers!”   
  
The entire party cheered to that, Alisaie’s speech representing their Starlight perfectly. They were a family, and what was once five was slowly growing to eight, and only time could tell what was in store for this group of unique people. They’d have to wait until the new year to see where it’d go, but for now, they’d enjoy each other’s company. They drank, ate, sang, and danced, forgetting their issues and worries, smiling throughout the night. As expected, Alisaie was the first to get drunk.   
  
“Oh my gods, I completely forgot! Me and Lyse ran into the sweetest boy the other day. His name was like Ga Bu and this was his first Starlight without his parents. Oh the poor kid I wanted to adopt him right then and there. I love kids. So annoying but soooooo cute. We got him something. What was it?” Alisaie rambled on, her face red as a sign of her intoxication. Lyse, not as gone as her, joined in explaining the story, loving this affectionate side of her, “Lyse you were so good to him. You’d make a great mother. You’re a great person—I-I love you a lot. You’re just the best!”   
  
Y’shtola and Estinien were the only fully sober ones there, observing the mess that this party was slowly becoming. While Lyse and Alisaie expressed their undying love for each other, Urianger, who turned out to be a lightweight, and Thancred, who lost control of his consumption, were in the midst of deep conversation. They were feeling each other’s vibes, the two finding so many commonalities as they discussed subjects like the meaning of life and global issues to the type of shampoo they used. Haurchefant was bound to a two drink rule by his brother, who further enforced it by specifically giving him the weakest ones. He decided to talk to Y’shtola for a spell, before disappearing into the kitchen to hand out dessert he claimed he made when, in fact, Estinien was the chef behind it. The party had taken a turn, both out of control and relatively stable as everyone found a place to enjoy themselves. Y’shtola made her way to Estinien, avoiding Lyse and Alisaie who began to _sensually_ dance in the middle of the room.   
  
“This experience has made me cherish sobriety more.” Y’shtola joked, Estinien leaning against the wall in silent contemplation, “why didn’t you drink after the first round?”   
  
“Didn’t feel like it. I could go for a smoke, though.”   
  
“We all have our vices. Though, you’d have to take it outside.”   
  
“Oh? You won’t snitch on me this time? I have to say it’s disappointing to see you okay with underage drinking but gave me a hissy fit when I so happened to smoked.”   
  
“_Well, Estinien,_ you were doing something illegal on school grounds. At least this is happening in a private home—and is under control. Sort of.”   
  
“But it’s still illegal. This should be reported.” Estinien joked, the irony present as Y’shtola hummed along, glancing at him before scanning the room. She witnessed her friends take their first steps into the world of alcohol, stumbling miserably. She almost missed Alphinaud, who was standing across from them, watching them. She smirked at the way he twiddled his thumbs, his nervousness apparent.   
  
“Well, Estinien. It’s odd having you with us, but I’m glad it happened. It could possibly be a step in the right direction—but I digress. We’ll have our moment another time. Let’s enjoy what peace we have now.” Y’sthola spoke, peering back at Estinien who kept his head low as he slightly nodded in agreement. She gave a smile before stepping away from the wall, “don’t be too much of a stranger.”   
  
She walked away from Estinien, who barely stirred at her departure. She winked at Alphinaud, flustered that he was caught staring but terribly played it off. She decided to join her friends how were now playing drunk charades.   
  
Alphinaud tried to keep himself well-behaved the entire time. After all, his body was still bruised from Alisaie’s punches and tight hugs from when he confessed the truth, surprisingly taking it well considering just who she was. He downed the drink he cheered with and told himself it’d be the only alcoholic one of that night. But, he had something he planned to do and needed that extra boost in courage from a second drink he sneaked that night. He felt more relaxed, but still conscious as he tipped-toed toward Estinien, who continued leaning against the wall, eyes remaining shut after Y’shtola left. Alphinaud didn’t want to disturb him, but he knew he had to take advantage of everyone being distracted, so he carefully tapped Estinien’s arm, the tall boy looking over at him with one eye opened.   
  
“What?”   
  
“S-Sorry. I uh... I need to speak with you. In private...” Alphinaud whispered, Estinien sighing before hopping off the wall, facing the boy.   
  
“Alright.” He simply responded, Alphinaud gulping before he nodded and led them away from the party, guiding Estinien down a hallway into his room. As he expected, Alphinaud’s room was very clean and organized, having a blue and green theme that worked well into the boy’s aesthetic, “sorry. It’s nothing bad, I promise. I just... wanted to talk to you.”   
  
Estinien didn’t really know what to say, the boy’s ambiguity leading him to more confusion he didn’t want to deal with. He cleared his throat, “alright. I’m listening.”   
  
“Well...” Alphinaud began, looking away from Estinien as he struggled to maintain eye contact with him, “I wanted to let you know how grateful I am for you keeping me safe that night and comforting me later. You didn’t have to do that, but you did, and it showed me how wrong I was about you. I made you out to be a monster, and that was terribly wrong of me. I wouldn’t have realized the error in my ways if you hadn’t reached out to me—if you hadn’t given me that new charm. I’m sorry about that Estinien. You... you’re a good person, I know you are. And I know how rare it is for bullies and their victims to work things out, but I think that‘s happened to us. I would like to get to know you better, but I’ll respect your desire to want nothing to do with me. But I... I...”   
  
The boy trailed off, biting his lip as he shook his head, Estinien completely at a loss to what Alphinaud was trying to conclude with. Estinien figured he wasn’t as sober as the kid thought he was, but Alphinaud knew what he was doing. He quietly walked away from Estinien, each step careful as he bent over to retrieve something from under his bed. Estinien didn’t quite know how to react to Alphinaud standing before him, a wrapped-up box cradled in his arms.   
  
“I wanted to return the kindness. I hope you like it... Happy Starlight, Estinien.”   
  
Alphinaud smiled fondly, tilting his head as his eyes were bright like stars, holding out the present toward Estinien. He stiffened up, his mouth tightly closed as he didn’t know how to respond, Alphinaud maintaining his pleasant aura as he nudged the present toward him again, Estinien stepping back in response, a blush slowly creeping on his face.   
  
“You’re supposed to accept it, Estinien.” Alphinaud teased, smirking as Estinien bared his teeth.   
  
“I-I know that pipsqueak, I’m just—“ Estinien retorted, flustered at his own stuttering. He shook his head as he snatched the present from Alphinaud, who brought his hands to his side as Estinien held the wrapped box carefully.   
  
“It should fit,” Alphinaud commented, Estinien observing the present as if it held an ulterior motive, “you can open it if you want—“   
  
“I know that.” Estinien snapped, Alphinaud receding from further commentary to avoid angering him. He just looked at Estinien with the present, purely amused whenever he’d look back at him, only for him to avert his gaze and focus back on the present. He clicked his tongue, deciding to lay the present down on Alphinaud’s bed, ripping off the expertise wrapping. He hated how his fingers shook, angered that he didn’t know why they reacted in such a way—why he felt so overwhelmed. He opened the rectangular box inside, revealing Alphinaud’s present, “what... is this?”   
  
“Haurchefant told me how you like to stay out late, and since it’s really cold now I figured you’d need something to keep you warm, Estinien. You can wear it as an undershirt or by itself it doesn’t matter—I just... I hope you like it.”   
  
Estinien held out the black long-sleeve shirt, flipping it over as he observed it, noting how light but thick it was.   
  
“I wasn’t too sure but I figured you’d appreciate the black. It goes with everything after all. I felt the long-sleeve was more practical to keep you warm—plus you can always roll up the sleeves so—“   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
“—you can wear it whenever. It’s also a slim-fit too I fig—wait, what?”   
  
“Thank you, Alphinaud.”   
  
“Oh! Yeah, no problem. It was my pleasure—I hope you like it!” As expected, it was Alphinaud’s turn to blush, smiling as he rubbed the back of his head, suddenly feeling shy.   
  
“Yeah, I do.” Estinien answered honestly, Alphinaud beaming with delight over his response. Estinien cracked a small smile but quickly hid it as he lifted his hand to pat the boy on his head, figuring he’d appreciate the gesture. He did but whined as he moved away, complaining that his hair was ruined.   
  
“Alphinaud?”   
  
“Y-Yes?”   
  
“Don’t bother with me.”   
  
“Huh? Estinien?”   
  
“I’m... listen, it’s better if you don’t. Bad things happen around me and people who get too close always get hurt. That’s all there is to me: Trouble. Pain. Loss. I’m not trying to be angsty, it’s just the truth. I can’t control the shit that goes down in my life—you’ve seen it first hand.”   
  
“No, no—“ Alphinaud shook his head as he took a pointless step toward Estinien, who stopped him as he placed his hand on his shoulder.   
  
“It will happen again. If you try to associate yourself with me, you won’t just be worrying about Tioman,” he began as Alphinaud’s eyes cringed in terror, but still maintained their defiance to his words, “listen pipsqueak. I’m not trying to ruin your Starlight, but I want you to understand this clearly. I’m not someone a kid like you can hang out with. We’re fine with the way things are, but if you try to push it I... won’t stop you, but your running risks that I may not be able to protect you from.”   
  
Alphinaud gulped, looking up at Estinien with sad eyes, slowly nodding in understanding. Estinien didn’t know why he cared so much about Alphinaud—why he wanted to protect this boy at all costs—but he accepted that he did. Again he took another smile from Alphinaud, but he reasoned it would be for the better in the long run. The boy looked so sad, and Estinien hated how much it moved him—the feelings it stirred within him that he didn’t understand. Estinien sighed quietly, figuring he’d comfort him one last time. He wrapped his arms around Alphinaud, the small boy swallowed by his tall figure in the embrace. They remained in that sad hug for quite a while, Estinien looking down at Alphinaud's head.   
  
“Happy Starlight to you too, Alphinaud. At least, I hope it was.” Estinien said with a hoarse throat, not trying to be cruel to him. Alphinaud stirring to look up at him, eyes remained dry as he shed no tears, which impressed Estinien.   
  
“I actually did. This year’s party was weird but pretty amazing. Definitely one for the books.” Alphinaud assured with a small sniffle, his eyes hiding a small flame of defiance as he gave Estinien a small smile which filled him with a small light of hope, “thank you for coming. I’m—just, thank you, Estinien.”   
  
He nodded toward Alphinaud, the two sharing a quiet moment as they gazed upon each other, a stellar connection forming between them. Though feint on the surface, their souls were irreversibly bound to each other as they broke away from the hug. These two spirits were on a starlit path together—sparks flashing all around them. They were blinding, however, and not enough to illuminate where these two were heading. One thing was certain:

They would be together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it :D
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. Stellar Collision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their stars have aligned—perfectly in formation.  
A divine connection has blossomed, stronger from the storm's rain.  
Now, all that remains is a fated stellar collision—one so spectacular it shall remake the Heavens.  
However, will they succeed against the constellations that threatening them?

“Well, it was very nice to meet you, Alphinaud.” 

“Likewise, Mister—“ 

“No, no formalities.” 

“Ah—pardon me. It was nice to meet you too, Aymeric.” 

“Bye!!! Have fun at work!!!!!!” Haurchefant bid farewell to his brother who was off to work at night. 

Despite befriending Haurchefant for quite a while now, Alphinaud finally got to meet Aymeric. The three lived together, with Aymeric at the head of the house and the two younger brothers under his care. Haurchefant told Alphinaud they had lost their parents when he was a baby, Aymeric at the time living on his own having to swoop in and take care of them. Haurchefant didn’t indulge in the details, which Alphinaud respected, but was able to understand how hard it was for them. Aymeric had barely established himself when it happened and was then suddenly put in charge of two kids, having to work even harder to support them all while dealing with the loss of his parents. It was tough trying to restore a lost house like theirs but he tried his best, making sure his brothers lived happily. Though they managed and are now comfortable where they stand today, it took a toll on him, but he knew Estinien took it the hardest among the three of them. Haurchefant was relatively spared from the heartbreak and grew up the happiest.

“He’s very nice. What a wonderful brother you have.” Alphinaud commented. 

“I guess. But I’m still your favorite, right?” Haurchefant asked, grinning while he tickled Alphinaud, tumbling him over on the couch. 

“H-Hey!” Alphinaud squealed, giggling as he struggled to get Haurchefant off him. Haurchefant frequently resorted to tickling Alphinaud ever since he found out how sensitive he was, bothering him to no end, “fine... f-fine! You’re my fav-favorite! S-Stop!” 

“Good.” Haurchefant stopped his assault, instead hugging his small friend as he recovered from his laughing fit. 

He had been spending a lot of time at Haurchefant’s home over the holiday break, which allowed him to meet Aymeric. Estinien would make an appearance from time to time, mostly locking himself away in his room the entire time Alphinaud was there or had gone out. But sometimes they would cross paths, though both said nothing to the other despite having much to say. Alphinaud was fascinated by this family, scarce believing the three of them were brothers given how different they were. Aymeric was clearly the golden child, being the most hardworking and trustworthy, succeeding despite the hardships he faced. He spoke eloquently and treated everyone with great respect, almost everyone returning it in kind. Basically, he's the sanest out of the three. Estinien was the wild child who didn’t know how to behave—mostly breaking Aymeric’s rules and marching to the beat of his own drum. He was headstrong and rough, capable of getting things done his way no matter what. Truly, he‘s the bad child and antithesis to Aymeric. Last remained Haurchefant, who was the loudest of the three. He was the baby, and as such, was spoiled rotten and adored by the others (mostly by Aymeric, though Estinien dotes on him more than he’d like to admit). He was a kindhearted soul who was overly affectionate to those he cared about. He followed rules but liked to play around and explore as much as he could. In all, he’s the foundation that kept this household stable and will never learn what personal space is. All three were strong, having a good sense of self and intelligent (yes, even Haurchefant was bright despite his poor test grades). They loved each other deeply, fiercely loyal to one another knowing they were each other’s only family left. Alphinaud admired them, happy they were able to go on and live happily with each other. Alphinaud related to how important siblings are to them, as he and Alisaie only really had each other despite their parents and grandfather being alive and well. All three were amazing to him, and also very tall—and handsome, Alphinaud might add. 

Alphinaud and Haurchefant were enjoying each other’s company as they decided to watch a movie. Despite his complaints on how overly-touchy Haurchefant was, Alphinaud appreciated the platonic intimacy they had. He realizing how badly he needed to be embraced and held, enjoying how nice it was to feel someone’s warmth gently cradle him. He and Alisaie were too stubborn to cuddle, and his other friends were respectful of his personal space. Though he enjoyed Haurchefant’s hugs, Alphinaud couldn’t help but reminisce on the way Estinien held him, basking in the memory of how close they were. The lingering feeling of Estinien’s body touching him made shivers run over his body, which was amplified by how his strong arms gripped him tighter—closer than possible. The warmth in the outside was nothing compared to the heat that bloomed within when Estinien held him, Alphinaud guiltily wishing he could relive that experience at the Starlight party under better circumstances. He knew only Estinien was capable of making him feel that way as Haurchefant has similarly held him, but those sensations were never recreated. 

Alphinaud dozed off on Haurchefant’s shoulder as they kept watching, not realizing Estinien had stepped in to get a snack from the kitchen, stopping his in his tracks when he saw how Alphinaud was practically on his brother’s lap. He glared, waiting for either one of them to acknowledge him, which they failed to do. He cleared his throat, which did little to stir them. He huffed in frustration, choosing to stomp his foot, the bang finally getting their attention as they turned to him. 

“What? We’re watching a movie.” Haurchefant complained, Alphinaud trying to push away from Haurchefant on instinct, but decided to remain in his arms, knowing that Estinien wouldn’t do anything. He even got a little cocky as he slightly nuzzled into him, Estinien twitching at the motion. Alphinaud’s spent enough time in their home to know how all bark Estinien was, and subtly partook in Haurchefant’s teasing when the rare opportunity occurred. This was one of them, and Haurchefant struggled to hide his grin as he began his attack, “jealous? I always try to hug you but you shoo me away. Now that I’m cuddled up with Alphinaud you wanna join? No way!” 

“Gross.” Estinien shot back. 

“You’re gross! My hugs are great! Right Alphinaud? They’re for everyone! Except for mean nincompoops like you.” 

Alphinaud bit down a laugh, his face distorting as he struggled to not emit a single noise, Estinien immediately noticing it, getting mad. Spending time in this house has made Alphinaud realize many things—one of which was the truth in Haurchefant’s words: Estinien was not someone who should be feared—at least completely. He was a “big dummy” as Haurchefant said, and Alphinaud was amused by this side of Estinien that only Haurchefant brought out. 

“I don’t want your hugs, you weirdo. Get off Alphinaud. Now.” 

“No! He’s mine! You can’t have him!” 

“I don’t want—idiot! Just do what I say!” 

They were screaming now, both turning red for different reasons. Alphinaud sat in between their arguing, wondering if this is what Urianger experienced when he and Alisaie fought. He felt really bad, grateful that he was still friends with them after so long. Estinien began to storm over to them, Haurchefant releasing Alphinaud to get up and meet his brother, the two squaring up against each other. Alphinaud sat bemused, the two at a standoff as the movie played in the background. A corny joke was said made Haurchefant laugh, breaking the tension. He then pounced on Estinien, tightly hugging him. As expected, he immediately tried pushing Haurchefant away, struggling to get him off. Once Haurchefant latched on to someone, there was no escape. He decided when the hug ended. 

“Get off me, you brat—“ 

“Estinieeeeeeenn~ hang out with us~” 

“N-No! Let me go—dammit—“ 

The two struggled, barely avoiding toppling over each other and making a mess of the living room. They would have continued, had Alphinaud not intervened on accident. The boys were lost in their battle until they heard laughter—beautiful laughter that snapped them out of the mess and made them stop. They both looked over at Alphinaud, who was holding his stomach as he laughed, rolling over as he fell onto the couch in utter amusement. He began to turn red, wheezing as he tried to regain his composure, failing miserably, only to cause him to laugh more. Haurchefant beamed at this, completely enjoying Alphinaud in this state. Estinien didn’t know how to feel, irked that he was laughing at them but... more than liked the sound of him. 

“Alphinaud, you’re so precious.” Haurchefant whispered, Estinien glancing over to him as his brother then pounced on Alphinaud, deciding to tickle him again, Alphinaud begged for mercy as he was just beginning to come down from the first fit. Estinien watched the two, softening a little bit before he turned to get his snack, finally smiling as he rummaged through the kitchen as the sound of laughter filled the apartment. 

He could get used to it. 

***

“Here.” 

Estinien held out a bowl of popcorn to the two boys, who finally relaxed and had rewind the movie, sitting in their original positions. They hadn't noticed the microwave going while they were fooling around so they were surprised by the gesture. 

“Aw, thanks, bro!” 

“Thank you, Estinien.” 

Estinien simply grunted, turning to leave them alone until Haurchefant spoke up, “wait, don’t you wanna watch it with us? We’re not that far in!” 

“No. It’s your stupid thing. And I hate comedies.” 

“Well, it could be our stupid thing, Estinien. C’mon! We’re all friends, _right?_” Haurchefant argued, Estinien chancing a look back to see Haurchefant reach out to him, and Alphinaud’s small smile and welcoming eyes begging him to say. He regretted it, as he felt himself give in to their charm, groaning as he took a seat next to Alphinaud, purposely leaving some space. Haurchefant quietly celebrated victory as he resumed the movie. 

The three watched, Haurchefant laughing throughout as Alphinaud found it a bit dry but still entertaining. Not a sound came from Estinien, who genuinely meant it when he said he hates comedies, though he guiltily enjoyed having company instead of the isolation in his room. Alphinaud felt weird cuddling with Haurchefant in front of Estinien, wishing he wasn’t so comfortable doing it in front of his brother. Though he established that he was not attracted nor taking advantage of Haurchefant, he knew this would bother Estinien—the last thing he wanted to do. He was genuinely surprised he allowed it to go on but figured he didn’t mind it too much. 

Estinien, however, did mind. A lot. 

He hated how much it bothered him. He hated that he didn’t know why it upset him so much, but it did. And he hated that he accepted it and let it continue—he wanted to rip Haurchefant off Alphinaud— 

_ Wait... why do I want to tear Haurchfant off Alphinaud? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? _

He was furious. Quietly cursing everything as he sat there, frustrated that he was feeling what he felt. He didn’t understand why, but he knew it pissed him off seeing Haurchefant hold Alphinaud—the way his arm wrapped around the small waist, the way his head leaned onto his brother's shoulder—all of it pissed him off. He tapped his foot as he got fed up, his urge to storm off nearly pushing him to do so. 

_ Why!? Why!? Why!? Why am I fucking pissed!? Dammit... Stupid fucking kid always touching stuff... he shouldn’t be touching him like that. Who does he think he is? A brat who doesn’t know his place... Jealo—I’m not fucking jealous. It’s disgusting... No, it’s not. I know he doesn’t mean anything by it it’s just who he is... but I’m not jealous. Why the fuck would I be jealous? _

He was jealous. And in his blind tirade of jealousy, he didn’t notice the movie was paused as Haurchefant excused himself. He was snapped out of it when he heard a voice call to him, followed by a gentle poke. 

“Estinien? _Estinien?_” 

“Huh—what, pipsqueak?” Estinien responded, looking over at Alphinaud, who shifted to sit on his knees as he faced him, his hair slightly messy from being smushed against Haurchefant. Estinien fought the urge to fix it. 

“Nothing, you just didn’t say anything when Haurchefant excused himself.” 

“Oh. Why?” 

“Bathroom break.” 

“He’s gonna be in there a while.” Estinien sighed as he leaned back against the couch, relieved that the storm of thoughts had subsided. Though he slowly began to think about it again, the rage once again bubbling until Alphinaud spoke up again. 

“Estinien?” He asked, glancing over to him as he asked his question, “why do you call me... pipsqueak?” 

Estinien snorted, amused that Alphinaud blushed when he said pipsqueak, “because you’re a pipsqueak, _ pipsqueak _.” 

“But why? Why do you always call me that?” 

Estinien kept his smirk as he shrugged, “You’re so small and weak. A pipsqueak I could easily break in half.” 

“_Excuse me_. I’ll punch you again.” Alphinaud threatened, the two looking at each other seriously before Alphinaud let out a laugh, “I’m kidding.” 

“I didn’t think you were serious.” Estinien responded, easily riling up the boy. He just huffed and turned away, crossing his arms. Estinien enjoyed this, understanding why Haurchefant always teased Alphinaud. It was so easy to get a reaction out of him, so honest as he wore his feelings on him, “does it bother you? Being called pipsqueak?” 

“_ No _. No, it doesn’t.” Alphinaud lied, holding his head up as a sign of him defending his pride. He failed terribly in Estinien’s eyes. 

They both thought hard about the warning he gave Alphinaud during Starlight, wondering what would happen between them. It was clear they saw each other differently—no longer a predator and his prey, a bully and his victim. But, if they couldn’t be friends, then what could they be? Acquaintances? It’s too complicated between them for it to be that. Sure, how it is now is “fine,” but they were both unsatisfied with it. And even though Estinien said he wouldn’t stop Alphinaud from trying it left him wondering what the boy would do. Alphinaud wanted to be friends with Estinien. He was genuinely interested in getting to know him more, enjoying everything he learns about him and desperately wanting to discover more. However, Alphinaud knew if they were to become friends it would make matters worse as his feelings were still there. He knew he had no chance with Estinien, which hurt more than the idea of giving up on a friendship with him. It’s like what Y’shtola asked: would he defer to his mind’s will rather than his heart’s desires? Truthfully, he didn’t know. _He couldn’t know_. That was Estinien’s choice to make. 

Likewise, Estinien was confused about the situation. He accepted Alphinaud would be in his life for a while as he’s best friends with Haurchefant. He inevitable got accustomed to him in his house and watching their friendship grow in front of him. He was absolutely jealous of it. Seeing how much they liked each other bothered Estinien in ways he didn’t think possible. He knew he was lonely—he chose to be as he thought he was okay with it given what most of his past friendships amassed to. But seeing Alphinaud and Haurchefant together did something to him—it filled him with a hunger he never experienced before: A hunger for a friend. For intimacy. For a relationship. And he knew he had someone willing to indulge him. But he was scared of hurting him—of his past mistakes irreversibly harming another innocent person. He wouldn’t do that to Alphinaud. He didn’t want to. But he was so lonely and quite selfish. He knew he wanted it—whatever _it_ was. He saw Alphinaud as a way to atone, but he was scared of ruining him.

These thoughts lingered back and forth between them, both pondering long and hard about the other ever since Starlight—perhaps earlier, just never realizing it. Would Alphinaud listen to his mind or heart? Would Estinien yield to his hunger to protect Alphinaud or claim him? Right now he chose the latter, giving in and reaching out to fix Alphinaud’s hair. 

Alphinaud was startled by the motion, gasping at Estinien’s touch. He glanced over, barely seeing his eyes and missing the desperation in them. “E-Estinien?” 

“Hair’s messy. I’m fixing it.” 

“O-Oh, okay.” Alphinaud acknowledged, showing his consent as he leaned into his touch. He hated when people touched his hair—which included Alisaie despite them having the same style. But he willingly made an exception for Estinien, happy when he felt the heat from Starlight budding within him. His eyes closed as he got comfortable, the hair long fixed as Estinien simply played with it now, Alphinaud sighing in pure bliss. 

“Beautiful hair...” Estinien whispered, now trailing down his braid, enjoying the silky texture. Alphinaud hummed his thanks, the space shrinking between them as Alphinaud leaned onto the tall boy. His eyes fluttered open, the two face to face as they gazed into each other. Blushes crept as heartbeats increased, the two at an impasse not knowing how to proceed. For once it was Alphinaud who moved into action, risking it as he reached around to touch Estinien’s hair, deciding it was his turn. 

“You also have beautiful hair, Estinien.” He whispered, Estinien hesitating at the foreign touch before slowly easing into it, Alphinaud smiling at the success. It was still awkward and a little uncomfortable, but the two lovesick dorks were willing to test the waters together, “I’d like to braid it one day. If you don’t mind.” 

“_Pfft_. Braids don’t look good on me.” 

“I thought the same long ago. You should give it a try, you’d never know how you’d feel about it.” 

“Mhm. So what? We have a date where we braid each other’s hair? Make Haurchefant serve us tea as well?” Estinien joked, smirking as the Alphinaud giggled, his hand long departing from Alphinaud’s hair, his arm now comfortably wrapped around the boy’s waist. Alphinaud didn’t mind, of course, loving how warm and fuzzy being close to Estinien made him feel, easily overshadowing Haurchefant’s touch. In fact, they had almost mimicked the way Haurchefant held him. 

“That doesn’t sound so bad. You’d find my technique top tier. It’s one of _many _the talents my hands have.” 

“Oh? There’s more, you say?” Estinien Inquired, the two virgins flirting terribly. Alphinaud laughed at this, ready to quip back a devious comment until they heard the sound of the toilet flush, followed by water running and obnoxious singing. Reality rushed in as both teens’ eyes went wide in horror. They hesitated, not wanting to let go, but Alphinaud jumped off as Estinien shifted away, the two farther from each other than before. Haurchefant walked back into a messy couch and two red-faced boys. 

“What’d I miss?” Haurchefant asked, satisfied as he had relieved himself, looking between the two who refused to respond, “what? Did Alphinaud punch you again?” 

* * *

“So you’re finally choosing me over your friend.” 

“Not this again—“ 

“Don’t deny it. You’re always at his house.” 

“No I’m not—Alisaie, don’t make this a thing.” 

“I’m making it a thing? You’re always leaving me alone! How else am I suppose to feel? It’s like you made it your resolution to stay as far away from me as possible.” 

“Alisaie...” Alphinaud groaned, saddened by her admission. He hadn’t intended to make her feel abandoned, but he realized the error in his ways and regretted it deeply, “I’m sorry, Alisaie. I would never choose Haurchefant over you—though it seems I’ve gone and done that, huh?” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I get it, boyfriend stuff—“ 

“He’s NOT my boyfriend.” 

“_Sure_—“ 

“He’s not! He’s a great friend, that’s all. I-I don’t have to defend myself I know you’re just teasing me. Anyway, I’ll make it up to you—“ 

“The weekend. You’re spending the entire weekend with me.” 

“Okay—“ 

“And you can’t text or call him.” 

“That’s a little—“ 

“No.” She silenced her brother, “Got it?” 

“Yes...” 

And so the twins spent long-needed time together, Alisaie making sure to smother her brother in affection and spite as he was her slave for the time being. She knew Alphinaud didn’t mean to push her away—again, she might add—but it still annoyed her to no end. She could never truly forgive him for not telling him about the run-in with those gangsters. In retrospect, she couldn’t care less for Estinien given that Alphinaud went and forgave him. He did keep him safe and comfort him when she couldn't. Her poor brother was scarred from that experience, unable to return to the park without his nerves getting the best of him. She swore she’d beat up any gangsters that’d harm her brother, and gods help Tioman should she ever cross her path. 

But still, Alisaie couldn’t help but try and pry into Alphinaud’s feelings and thoughts. She tried endlessly to find his diary, the only thing he was completely honest with, but had been unsuccessful for the most part. She deserved to know, not trusting Alphinaud to manage his issues by himself, but she was also tired of sneaking around and going through his stuff. She counted her blessings, however, when she was bored one of the days Alphinaud went over Haurchefant’s and resorted to cleaning the house and stumbling upon the well-hidden diary, applauding his creativity in keeping it outside his room. As expected, it was secured with a lock, Alisaie figuring Alphinaud had the key on him at all times. She reached another roadblock, considering ripping it open out of sheer frustration. Before resorting to picking it, Alphinaud arrived home, forcing her to retreat and keep a mental note of it. As the fates would have it, however, it wasn’t there the next time she sought it, utterly pissed that her brother got smart and moved it around or was currently using it. She gave up, deciding it was best to be upfront with her twin as they returned home from grocery shopping on the last day of Alphinaud’s imprisonment.

“Alphinaud.” 

“Yes, Alisaie?” Alphinaud inquired, turning around only to have his shoulders gripped by her hands as she looked at him sternly. 

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“Yes?” 

“So if anything is going on—no matter how big or small it is—you’ll let me know, _ right _?” 

“Alisaie I’m not a baby,” he began, meekly pulling away from his sister to walk away, “you don’t have to watch over me. There’s nothing going on, so stop worrying about me.” 

“You know I can’t help it, Alphinaud. I want you to rely on me, not your stupid diary. Tell me things—even if it’s stupid—I want to know.” Alisaie began, her voice gentle as she begged her brother to open up to her. She was met with a glare. 

“Diary? Don’t tell me you were looking for it again.” 

“Alphinaud, listen—“ 

“No, Alisaie. You know I hate when you do that—“ 

“And _you_ know I hate when you don’t tell me things!” 

“Well, I hate that you never believe me! There’s nothing to say, so drop it. _I’m fine_.” 

“Why don’t you trust me? It bothers me, Alphinaud, it truly does. I’m your sister! I tell you everything! What happened that made you scared to tell me about that night, huh? It’s my fault, isn’t it? It's something I did? I should’ve been the first person you ran to after that night! I should’ve been there to comfort you! To tell you you're safe and protect you!” Alisaie cried, frustrated as she began getting emotional, Alphinaud struggling to keep his own composure about him. This was turning to a continuation of the talk they had before when Alphinaud told all his friends what happened, this time expressing grievances they couldn’t say in front of the others. 

“Don’t you dare blame yourself! It’s not your fault Alisaie—don’t try to make it your fault! I just... I just... I don’t know! I don’t know, okay! I was scared and I didn’t know what to do, okay. I was embarrassed, and confused, and tired, and I just want to forget about it. Please, Alisaie. Let this rest... don’t be selfish, please.” 

“_Selfish_?” Alisaie repeated, instinctively grabbing the front his shirt to bring him close, ready to strike him. But she hesitated, the turn the conversation took had the two overly emotional in a matter of seconds. She instead captured him in a tight hug, remembering that he’s not the enemy and she was not here to antagonize him, “Alphinaud... I just want you to talk to me more. About your problems. About your thoughts and feelings. I was so scared... you were so broken Alphinaud... so delicate. So defeated. Now you're back to normal, but I’m so scared your hurting and keeping it a secret. I don’t want secrets between us—I don’t. Please... please...” 

Alisaie trailed off, crying into her brother's shoulder. They hadn’t had a moment like this since they came out to each other, Alphinaud slowly followed his sister in embracing her back, silently crying as well. They remained locked in each other’s arms until they both relaxed, emotions slowly simmering down. They pulled away to stare into each other’s puffy eyes. 

“I love you, Alphinaud.” 

“I love you too, Alisaie.” 

“Idiot.” She snapped, the two giving a little laugh as they stood in silence, the tension fading between them. Alphinaud quietly excused himself, Alisaie nervously watching him disappear into his room. He simply walked back out to her, diary and key in hand. 

“Alisaie. I’m sorry for doing that to you. I’m... I’m stubborn and prideful, and can’t express myself as well as I think I can. A family trait, as you well know.” Alphinaud joked, Alisaie feigning offense as he continued, “but you’re right, there should be no secrets between us. I... don’t think I could ever tell you everything I’m going through, but I’ll try. I promise you I’m okay right now—I’m better, I really am. I have great people who love me as much as I love them, and I know that I’m never truly alone, I just choose to be. I’m working on that, I am. But, here. Read through it if you must.” 

“Alphinaud...” 

“It’s okay. I’m... going to step outside. I won’t stray too far.” Alphinaud promised, beginning his trek to the door, haphazardly preparing to go out. Alisaie turned to watch him, unsure of what she should do as he stopped at the door, “fair warning... it’s boy troubles now.” 

* * *

He ended up straying too far from home than he expected. He made sure to text Alisaie to let her know, who had yet to respond to him. He wasn’t scared of what she’d find out—he wrote the damn thing after all. He felt he needed to step outside and take a breather, partly because something told him to do it and because he wanted to be dramatic. He also wasn't in the mood to be in the same room with her reacting to his "secrets." He took note of how beautiful the world seemed to look at night, the stars particularly bright as he walked through the small market street he and Alisaie shopped from which was still full of people. He didn’t mind it though, enjoying the noise of the bustling group of people. However, he didn’t expect to run into anybody he knew. 

“Estinien?” 

“Huh? Alphinaud?” 

The boys stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at each other as Estinien, who had removed an earbud when he noticed the small boy. He was grateful the puffiness in his eyes went down as he stood before Estinien.

“Hello! I didn’t expect to see you here.” 

“Mhm.” 

And awkward pause occurred as people moved around them, realizing they were blocking the sidewalk. They both spoke at the same time. 

“Sorry, if you're busy—“ 

“What are you doing out—“ 

They stopped, waiting for the other to respond before someone shouted at them to move, Alphinaud startled as Estinien cursed the man off. They then found themselves off to the side, leaning against the wall as they continued to chat. 

“Sorry, Estinien, you were saying something?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Oh, well—“ 

“What are you doing out now? By yourself?” 

“Oh, I, uh, was going for a walk. That’s all. You?” 

“Shopping. Food and shit.” 

“I see” Alphinaud responded, cringing at Estinien’s foul mouth. 

“It’s a little dark for a pipsqueak like you to be out—Oh yeah, Haurchefant lost his mind. He thinks you’re mad at him. Has he done something?” 

“Oh, Thaliak help me...” Alphinaud silently prayed, looking up at Estinien in defeat, explaining what happened. 

“Quite the sister you have. Such vicious women in your life, huh?” 

“No, no. Lyse is sweet most of the time,” Alphinaud offered before reconsidering, “unless she’s pissed off then, well...” 

Estinien raised his eyebrows, the two entering another period of silence as they stood there, the chill of Winter creeping down Alphinaud as didn’t dress properly when he left. He thought frequently of the movie night when they touched each other—something so unbelievable and so forbidden Alphinaud couldn’t help but question if it even happened. They saw each other a few more times after it, slightly engaging each other, but never to that extent since Haurchefant had always been there. This is the first time they were alone and properly talking, the awkwardness was very apparent between them. On a side note, he was eternally grateful he didn’t find the time to update his journal with what happened that movie night. Alisaie will just read up to him coming to terms with his crush, saving him from something far worse than he expected.

“What of Haurchefant? Is he at home?” 

“No. He was heartbroken or some crap. Aymeric had to take him out so he wouldn’t cry all day. What a godsdamn baby...” 

Alphinaud felt a pang of guilt, eyes dropping in shame, “I’m so sorry... I promise I’ll call him immediately and visit him soon... I never thought it would’ve hurt him that bad.” 

“He’s unreasonably sensitive. If he cries again, I swear I’ll kill him. I don’t think I can survive another night...” Estinien complained, closing his eyes before opening them, looking over at Alphinaud, “Pipsqueak. You’re not busy, are you? Mind coming over? Surprise that bastard and make him shut up.” 

“Oh. I, uh, well...” Alphinaud thought, taken aback by the request. The night had just taken a turn, Alphinaud at a crossroads at what he should do. He just had a moment with his sister and knew he had to return to her soon. But at the same time, she had yet to respond to him, and he knew she was a slow reader and he’s wrote much since the school year first began. She wouldn’t mind, right? This was a rare opportunity, and Estinien seemed to be in a talking mood. Plus, he didn’t live _ that _far from him. He bit his lip in utter guilt, praying to the Twelve and all watching over him to keep him safe from Alisaie’s wrath, “yes. I’ll go with you, Estinien.” 

“Great.” 

* * *

“Hungry?” 

“No, I’m fine! Thank you for the offer!” 

Alphinaud sat in the living room, twiddling his thumbs as he didn’t quite know what to do with himself. He was alone with Estinien, silently watching him in the kitchen. Haurchefant told him Estinien was the chef of the house, which Alphinaud found fascinating as he never would have guessed. He admired Estinien as he went about cooking, further intrigued that he was wearing the shirt he got him. His heart fluttered as it fit him and that he was actually using it. He hoped it kept him warm as promised, and was content to see just how perfectly it fit him, tightly hugging his muscles and toned body, barely leaving anything for the imagination. Alphinaud thanked the heavens he got the slim-fit, able to enjoy the gift himself. 

“Should be ready before they get back.” Estinien commented as he stepped into the living room, stretching as Alphinaud couldn't help his wandering eyes. 

“Good... good...” Alphinaud mumbled, Estinien looking at him curiously before deciding to take a seat next to Alphinaud. He relaxed, stretching out as he closed his eyes, Alphinaud wondering if he was genuinely always tired. There was a silence that irked the small boy as he wanted to talk with Estinien, but he wasn’t engaging him. So, Alphinaud decided to bite the bullet, “I noticed you're wearing the shirt... I’m glad it fits. I hope it works as promised.” 

“Mhm... don’t feel the cold.” 

“That’s good! You must be using it all the time, huh?” Alphinaud lightheartedly asked, smiling as Estinien barely moved a muscle. He simply hummed his affirmation, disheartening Alphinaud before he frantically dipped into his pocket, “I still have the coeurl charm, see.” 

Estinien opened an eye to this, seeing the blue charm dangle as Alphinaud looked at it fondly, smile widening. Estinien wondered why Alphinaud cared so much about it, but nonetheless enjoyed how happy it seemed to make him. He spoke up, “you know, it barely cost anything. Nothing compared to the shirt.” 

Alphinaud shook his head, looking at Estinien as he reassured, “the money means nothing, Estinien. It's the thought that counts. And this charm was... very thoughtful. I thought I’d return the favor and get something that’d protect you too.” 

Estinien hated how his heartbeat sped up, how his cheeks warmed and how embarrassed he felt. He turned away, scoffing as he mumbled about how dumb it was, Alphinaud raising an eyebrow to his shift in demeanor. Estinien wouldn’t be bested, “it’s not fair. And I owe you something to even it out. What do you want?” 

A clash of pride continued from there, Alphinaud urging that it wasn’t necessary while Estinien kept trying to egg Alphinaud on to confess something he wanted. Both boys got frustrated until Alphinaud gave up and said something Estinien could never have anticipated, “Nidhogg. I-I want to know about Nidhogg.” 

“Nidhogg?” 

“The gang. I’d like to know about them.” 

“That’s—no. That’s not what I meant—“ 

“That’s what I want—“ 

“_No_.” Estinien spat with finality, the two intensely staring at each other, unyielding in their positions. 

“I don’t want to anger you, Estinien. But it’s been on my mind ever since then—you can’t expect me to not have looked into it! But, I don’t want to listen to what the news says... I want to hear from you. A former member, if that’s okay.” 

“...You can’t just—“ 

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise! I’m curious... and I’d like to get to know more... about them and you...” Alphinaud trailed off, begging Estinien with puppy-dog eyes. He felt bad for pushing a sensitive topic, but this was his best chance to learn more about it. Estinien swallowed hard, heavily debating on what he should do. He believed the boy could keep a secret, but he swore he didn’t want to get him more involved. Ignorance was bliss, and that’s all he wanted to give the boy to ever feel. But, maybe telling a little could scare him off, getting the inevitable disappointment of what was quietly growing between them over with. 

“Fine. But you’re going to shut up and listen.” Estinien ordered, Alphinaud straightening up as he nodded, prepared to listen. Estinien cleared his throat, preparing himself to tell his story, “Nidhogg... _ fucking Nidhogg _. I don’t know what you know, but I’ll tell you the important stuff, I guess. The Nidhogg gang was founded by a bunch of bad kids who had nothing better to do and thought they ruled the world—immune to all the bad shit going on. Heh, fools they were. But they were still kids, at least until they became the criminals they are now. If you’d’ve guessed, pipsqueak, I was one of those stupid kids... 

I won’t bore you with the details, but shit happened and I ran away from home. Multiple times, actually. Aymeric would always drag my ass back but I’d always run away again. Anyway, it happened when I was around thirteen or fourteen years old—imagine, thirteen year old me running around the streets trying to prove something. Heh. Whatever. I met other kids like me and became friends with them—met Thancred that way, but he was never apart of Nidhogg. We didn’t even call it Nidhogg at the time... 

The founders included Nidhogg himself, his girl Tioman, and me, as well as others. Also, those aren’t their real names. We were dumb and thought we’d be cool ass shit if we gave each other mythical ass names or whatever—stupid kids... but that’s what we were, _kids_. We weren’t too bad, just trespassing and loitering, more of a swarm of pests than a public threat... but this was on the streets, and we were playing with fire thinking we wouldn’t get burned. Heh. Anyway, we ran around for a while just being kids until the real world hit us like a truck. Basically, we had people joining us left and right, slowly growing, and a lot of those people were bat-shit crazy. Shitty adults took advantage of us and wanted us to do more stuff—to be a real gang. It caused a whole thing, and well, as you can see the group chose to do that. Get weapons. Hurt people, rob stores, the shit you see on the TV. It’s how this shit starts... so yeah. 

Nidhogg was one of the founders, and one of my closest fri—_ confidants _. He was always wild, but I didn’t think he’d allow it to get this far. He spearheaded the change, and a whole power struggle happened because of it. I tried to stop him but I couldn’t, so I left. Happened over a year ago. They've only gotten worse...

Also, the people who still associate with me were former Nidhogg members who left when I did. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not their friend nor am I their leader—didn’t ask to be but they still flock to me—whatever, basically those people who terrorize you at school were some of them. They won’t do it again, I made sure of it. So, Seventh Dawn is safe since it’s ‘my turf,’ and Nidhogg has some respect about territory, and frankly has bigger fish to fry. Wondering about my home? It’s also safe. We all made an oath to never get family involved under any circumstances. Though I doubt Nidhogg would care anymore, he has priorities, and as long as I keep my head low everyone’s safe. Crazy bastard... 

Must be scared of me now, huh? Well, that’s all I got _pipsqueak_. Don’t ask stupid questions—or any at all. Don’t ask what my name was. Happy Starlight, _again_.” 

Estinien didn’t mean to get nasty toward the end, but that’s what happens when talking about his past. His body had stiffened, visibly mad—he completely stopped looking at Alphinaud and simply gazed ahead of him as he spoke, his leg tapping feverishly against to floor. He stopped paying attention to Alphinaud, memories of his past now at the forefront of his mind. Slowly a storm was brewing within, but its turmoil came to a sudden stop when Estinien felt a hand on his, squeezing tightly. 

“Thank you for sharing, Estinien. I’m sorry I asked... but thank you.” Alphinaud spoke, looking at Estinien concerned. The tall boy looked back, seeing how worried Alphinaud had looked. He mistakes it for fear, but Alphinaud must’ve read his interpretation as he quickly shot him a small smile, gently moving his fingers against his hand. He couldn’t help but soften at this, utterly confused at what it meant. 

Estinien, being bad with words when he got emotional, simply responded, “Say something, pipsqueak.” 

Alphinaud tried to analyze what exactly Estinien wanted but just kept smiling and deciding to share his thoughts, “I... I can’t believe that something like that would happen. But it’s quite the extraordinary story, and I’m glad you told me the truth. I... I know you’ll hate this but... I must say I’m sorry you went through that... that’s something that, well, I couldn’t imagine surviving myself. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself but... here you are, alive and well, protecting us. You’re strong, and I never doubted that before. But now I know you’re a hero. _ A hero _.” 

That word echoed through Estinien’s mind, resonating within his heart and into his soul. Never had he considered himself anywhere close to such a thing, and he couldn’t believe Alphinaud for a second. But the fond way he looked at him accompanied by them holding hands made him realize that Alphinaud meant it. That he wasn’t scared of him. That he wasn’t gonna abandon him because of it.

“I...” Estinien barely managed out, a blush creeping on his face as he was at a lost for words, Alphinaud’s smile and reassuring eyes enchanting him. He quickly looked away, trying to save himself from falling farther than anticipated, his surging emotions undeniable.

Alphinaud let out a giggle, rearranging their hands so their fingers crossed, not wanting to let him go, “to be honest, I admire you so much, Estinien, now more than ever. To think, we’d share something in common in how we’re both forced to lead something—“ 

Alphinaud was cut off from finishing his thoughts as Estinien suddenly moved, pulling him closer. Estinien thought he was falling, but quickly learned he had been flying. He thought the warmth that bloomed within him was holding him down—but it was raising him up. Alphinaud gave it to him, and he knew he’d fight to keep that feeling—that light—within him. To nurture it. To protect it. He wanted it now more than ever. 

He staked his claim for it when he brought Alphinaud into him, capturing his lips with his own. The small boy was blindsided by the movement, almost losing touch with reality hadn’t he felt Estinien feverishly kiss him. The overbearing passion melted him, Alphinaud kissing back as best he could, the two fumbling to rearrange themselves so that Alphinaud was straddled on his lap, hands wrapped around his broad shoulders and Estinien snaked his around his waist, pulling him closer. They kissed until they couldn’t anymore, breaking away to stare into each other, happily remaining with unsaid words as they felt their connection strengthen. They had finally collided as their stars would have them, their union beyond spectacular. It only grew stronger as they resumed, increasing the intensity of the kiss. Admittedly, they were each other’s first, but neither noticed anything other than the sheer passion they both held for each other. What felt like hours passed, the two finally ending the make-out session, clarity slowly returning as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Estinien remembered he was in the middle of cooking, but couldn’t care less that the rice had burned, feeling it was more important to cup Alphinaud’s cheek, stroking it gently. Alphinaud closed his eyes in bliss, Estinien’s fingers meticulously outlining his face. 

Estinien held something so gentle, so beautiful, so delicate as Alphinaud. As he touched Alphinaud, he knew he would be the most sacred thing to him—the thing he had to protect at all costs. He didn’t care if it seemed impossible—dammit, he’d make it possible. Alphinaud would be his to cherish, and no one would take him away. No one would corrupt him. No one would hurt him. Only he could.

He’d make sure of it.

* * *

“Alphinaud, there you are! I was so worried—“ Alisaie began before her brother jumped on her, capturing her in a tight hug, “what in the hells is the matter with you!?” 

He jumped off her, his face beaming as she looked at him bewildered, “Alisaie, sorry. I-I lost track of time. You didn’t text me so I didn’t know when to come back. D-Did you read the diary?” 

“Oh—I... no Alphinaud. I couldn’t bring myself to do it it’s too personal... I’ll trust in you to tell me, as you should trust in me. Instead, I took a shower—a very long, well-deserved shower.” 

“Makes sense.” Alphinaud chirped, having noticed her slightly wet hair and change into her pajamas as she noticed the extra pep in his step and his smirk, “I think I should shower too. In fact, I’ll go do that right now!” 

Her brother practically ran off without even taking his diary back, Alisaie utterly confused. 

“Maybe I should read—no, no. Trust in that idiot. I know he’ll tell me what’s going on. At least before I die...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise!
> 
> I was not expecting to update so soon, but here I am with another chapter before the new year—and what a way to end it, I might add. I was just so excited and too inspired I had to write this up! It finally begins... finally.
> 
> I probably don't have to add this but as you may have noticed the rating was changed to M. Part of it was because of the ~sexy~ spin-off I wrote to the story (Starry Night, available to read if you haven't already!). But, I know what the readers want (and frankly, what I want), so expect some spicy things to come hweheheh. 
> 
> Beyond this, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thank you for reading!


	9. Zenith I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They searched high above as morning came  
Fearful their Heaven was gone forever.  
They looked up, blinded by light  
Fearful their Heaven was gone forever.  
They swore to challenge the Sun  
Hoping their Heaven would last forever.  
They would claim Zenith,  
And restore their midnight Heaven,   
Forever.

“Alphinaud, how are you today?” 

“Very good, Principal Warde. And you?” 

“Oh I'm just fine, thank you for asking! Now, I called you into my office since we haven’t reconvened in quite some time. I’d like to hear from you, has anything changed among you, Y’shtola, and Estinien?” 

Alphinaud had been waiting for this moment since school resumed following the holiday break. So much has changed since then and he’s desperately wanted to tell Minfilia what happened. He struggled to hide his smile, finding it too difficult to contain his excitement as he explained the current state of things, keeping out the details she absolutely didn’t need to know. 

“So, you’re friends with Estinien now?” 

“I wouldn’t say that. But we most definitely see each differently—better, in fact. He stopped bullying me since I befriended his brother, Haurchefant. We’ve gotten closer to each other because of it, and I’m still trying my hardest to understand him more. Maybe to one day be his... friend.” 

“How serendipitous that you met his brother. I’m glad it’s working out between you two. Professor Totolymo has observed the change, and I’m glad to hear from you it’s genuine. But, I still worry about his relationship with Y’shtola.” 

“They still have their arguments, yes, but I believe that it’s just who they are. Their personalities were destined to clash. I can say for certain, however, that Y’shtola is making attempts to better understand Estinien. Whether he is I cannot say, but I know they don’t hate each in the slightest. At least, not anymore.” 

“That’s... reassuring. I'd hope they'll manage to work things out as well as you did, but I defer to your insight. Perhaps their personalities may simply be unmatchable. But it truly makes me proud that you’ve gotten to see him more personally.” 

“Yes... it was quite the surprise to see how his life is outside of school. There truly is so much more to a person then what we first see. I’m glad I didn’t give up on him. I’m really glad.” 

“I am too, Alphinaud. And I know Estinien is as well, to have someone like you on his side.” 

***

“Oh, this day just became  _ magnificent _ .” 

“ _ Y’shtola _ ...” 

“What? We've regained our freedom. What else could be more spectacular than that?” 

“I suppose...” Alphinaud responded, the two walking out of the classroom that served as their prison for way longer than necessary. Minfilia had revoked their detention, deeming they’ve managed to work past most of their issues and were now free to choose how they’d continue. Estinien immediately ran out, swearing he wanted nothing to do with either of them after the hell he went through—Alphinaud knowing he was lying, at least partially. Y’shtola was just as glad it was over but still kept an eye out for Estinien due to Alphinaud’s infectious curiosity. She wondered what their next interaction would be knowing they would inevitably cross paths. All she hoped was that it wouldn’t lead to another sitdown at the Principal's office.

“So what now?” Alphinaud asked. 

“Well, I say we pass on the news to the others. They'll want to celebrate our victory over that hell of a punishment. I can’t help but question what Minfilia was thinking in the first place...” 

“She was trying her hardest, okay. And I believe her methods were successful.” 

“ _ To you _ . Her schemes turned you into Estinien’s biggest fan.” 

“I'm not—what brought you to that conclusion!?” 

“Either way, he seems to enjoy being idolized as much as you enjoy worshipping him. 

“He’s not—I’m not worshipping him!  _ Y’shtola!" _ Alphinaud groaned as his friend walked off, ranting to her that she was wrong and just trying to mess with him. She was obviously successful, grinning at how easy it was to aggravate him. 

Alphinaud only told her how they've flirted quite a bit. He omitted the fact they kissed, convincing himself that it was in her best interest to withhold that information. Y’shtola barely believed him in the first place, but he was adamant about it, insisting they’ve held hands and hugged. She applauded Alphinaud’s success, surprised that he finally engaged a boy he liked—even more shocked that Estinien had reciprocated it. Again, she could only go off what Alphinaud was feeding her, so she still held on her disbelief. But, she couldn’t help but give herself some credit for it since it was her idea to invite him to the Starlight party, the clear turning point for their romance—if she could even call it that. She was wary of Estinien but gave him the benefit of the doubt since she promised Alphinaud. He wasn’t budging, however, clearly busy flirting with her best friend than trying to resolve their own issues. She’d wait, though, feeling their time would come to talk it out. One way or another, she would be there for his final judgment. Alphinaud knew Y’shtola held Estinien's fate in her hands, ready to get him expelled and reported if anything happened. He kept what he told him close to his heart: that Seventh Dawn was safe. He wanted to tell Y’shtola immediately but he promised to keep it a secret. So, that left him stuck between the two of them as he struggled to get them to communicate properly. He knew he had to do something, and figured Y’sthola would listen to him but Estinien... 

To be honest, he and Estinien hadn’t spoken since the kiss. Alphinaud shivering every time he thinks about it—and he thinks about it a lot. He was hoping to be able to talk to him today, but Minfilia ending her punishment hindered his plan when Estinien ran out. He could visit Haurchefant’s house, but he hadn’t been invited since school started and he didn’t want to exploit his friend for such a reason. What’s worse is that he hasn’t called or texted, leaving Alphinaud desperate enough to want to call him but was scared to not go through with it. He hoped that Estinien would reach out to him soon before he succumbed to the belief that it was all a mistake—that Estinien didn’t mean anything by it. Perhaps Estinien was avoiding him? Maybe he regretted it? Maybe he lost interest—or worse, didn't like him? Alphinaud became paranoid, but he tried to manage it as best he could. He once again did what he promised his sister not to do: he was hurting, but masking it as if it was all fine. He needed reassurance, but couldn’t push himself to tell anyone what was going on. He felt trapped in a cycle he desperately wanted to break before his heart did. 

After classes, he went straight home before Alisaie, who had to stay for practice. He wallowed in heartbreak for a while before deciding to update his journal. He cherished it as if it were a person—a true confidant he could be completely honest with judgment-free. Each entry he wrote lifted a weight off him, providing emotional support when he needed it most. He cried with it as much as he laughed with it, tracking his progress and seeing how much he’s grown with every experience. He would hug it after completing an entry, fulfilling his need for physical support through his connection with the words he wrote. He knew, however, it was no substitute for another person’s touch. It meant nothing compared to Haurchefant, Estinien, and Alisaie’s embraces. So when his sister finally came home, instead of spiraling into a depressive episode in his room he went to her, swallowing his pride as he snuggled up next to her on the couch, who naturally shoved him away. 

“What’s the matter with you?” 

“Sad.” 

“O—Oh...” Alisaie expressed her shock, hesitant to apologize and ask what he meant, choosing to hold her brother close as he wanted, letting him decide what to say. It took a while before Alphinaud spoke up. 

“When did you realize you liked Lyse?” 

“I-I don’t—“ she began to defend herself, gritting her teeth before tossing her argument, knowing Alphinaud wouldn’t be fooled, “I don’t know. We began hanging out a lot more... plus, we share a lot of things in common. She’s also very pretty, and well, stronger than me. I like that. A lot.” 

“When did you know she liked you back?” 

“She doesn’t! How would I even know that!?” 

“She never told you?” 

“No! No, she hasn’t... I mean technically she likes me—she always says she does, but it’s different. She doesn’t think of me romantically.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Because—why are you even asking about this crap?” Alisaie asked, her frustration at the topic peaking as she shifted to look at her brother, who was on the verge of tears. Her sisterly instincts kicked in, “Alphinaud what’s wrong? Why are you—is... is it the boy troubles you mentioned? Something with Haurchefant?” 

“ _ Alisaie _ ...” Alphinaud groaned, trying to maintain his composure but failing miserably. Estinien appeared in his mind and he immediately sat up as he felt the inevitable wave of tears crash down his face, bring his hands to cover them in shame. Alisaie hated how frequently she pitied Alphinaud nowadays because she knew how strong and brilliant he was—as all Leveilleurs are—but how frail he was when it came to romance and sexuality. It was his biggest shame as it was her biggest pride, the two complete opposites in how they embraced their identity. Sure, Alisaie feels insecure about it from time to time, but she’s proudly attracted to women. It's usually one of the first things she tells people. Most don’t care, and some are happy to hear it, and those poor souls who react badly to it—well, let’s just say they wished they never crossed her path. She’s even kissed a girl or two already, but she’ll never go into details about them. Despite her record of experiences and triumphs, her heart was captured the moment Lyse stepped into her life. She feels on top of the world around Lyse—beyond, in fact. The butterflies both exciting and scaring her at the same time as they elevated here up far beyond the sun at zenith. But the feeling of flight didn't mean she had wings, reminding her of where she stood. That’s why she never made a move despite her history of successes. She’d rather stay as friends than scare Lyse off, actively trapping herself in the friend zone. This is where she shared a commonality with Alphinaud, however, as he simply repressed himself, faking pride in his virtue and bottling up his desires for romance and sex. He never explored, and Alisaie knew the rare occasions he dipped his toes would end badly because he’d wuss out. She was always ready to comfort him as she did now, gently wrapping her arms around her crying brother as she pulled him to her. 

“Oh Alphinaud...” she cooed, gently petting him as she soothes him, his sobs loud and violent against her shoulder, “Alphinaud it’s okay. Whatever’s going on I know it’ll work out. It’s okay if he doesn’t see you that way, you just have to accept it. I know it hurts and fucking sucks but it’ll get better—there’s more rainbow fish in the sea, after all. Even if you don’t believe it, trust me,  _ there are _ . But if he doesn’t want to be friends with you because of it then he can just fuck off. I’ll beat him black and blue like his hair—“ 

“It’s not Haurchefant!” Alphinaud screamed, before pulling away to look at his sister, teary faced and red. He inhaled as Alisaie held on to him, her eyes searching for the answer. Her brother’s sobs subsided into whimpers before he made a quiet admission, “it’s... its... it’s Estinien.” 

He silently cried, Alisaie at a complete loss of words, instead prioritizing hugging her lovelorn brother over a vocal response. She had so many questions but knew they’d be answered soon enough. She’d wait, letting her brother latch on to her until he calmed down. She cursed Estinien if he hurt him again. She promised to make him a dead man as she tried to piece together what he could’ve done. Her rage silently brewed within, eventually disrupted by Alphinaud slowly moving, the noise of his heavy breathing echoing throughout the house. He detached from his sister, looking down in shame as he fought the sniffles. His voice was hoarse as he quietly explained to his sister everything that’d happen. The hug, the flirting, the touching, the kiss. Everything was laid bare. 

“...I don’t know what to do, Alisaie. I... want to disappear—“ 

“ _ No, you don’t _ . You’re being overdramatic, Alphinaud. That stinky boy doesn’t deserve your feelings.” 

“But—“ 

“ _ No _ . Screw him! He’s leading you on, that bastard. Probably just a sick joke... don’t fall for someone like him—all he is is trouble.  _ Trouble _ , Alphinaud. You hear me?” 

“But—“ 

“ _ No _ . You’re going to say it with me: you’re not going to fall for Estinien.” _ _

“Oh Alisaie,” Alphinaud cried, frustration overflowing, “it’s too late! It’s too late! He caught me, Alisaie.  _ He caught me _ .” 

“You’re exaggerating.” 

“It’s what I feel.” He sniffled. 

“Alphinaud, you fool...” Alisaie sighed, reaching to rub her stupid brother’s cheek, who frowned at the gesture, “I... I’m not sure what I can do besides beat him up—“ 

“Tell me what I should do! Should I call him!? Go over his house!? Find him at school!? Or do I keep waiting!? Gods, I feel like a stupid princess locked inside her castle!” 

“That’s one way of saying it.” Alisaie mumbled, Alphinaud immediately shoving her sister, who laughed in return, “Alphinaud I don’t know what to tell you. As your sister, I will always support you no matter what. But, I will also be honest with you: I don’t like Estinien. Not for you. I can’t trust him to be genuine with his feelings—a kiss could mean anything after all!” 

“What!? Why would he kiss me if he doesn’t like me!? Even if it’s a little... he has to like me! Right...?” 

“Sure, Princess Alphinaud.” 

“ _ Alisaie _ .” 

“I don’t know what to tell you! Just go over his house. Corner him until he confesses. If he has feelings, great! You have a boyfriend. If not, punch him—or better yet, kick him in the balls. Heh. That’ll teach him.” 

“Alisaie...” Alphinaud repeated, rolling his eyes as he couldn’t help but smile past the tears at her joke. At least, he chose to take it as her joking. 

“Listen Alphinaud, you obviously like him. I think... that’s quite sweet since you see him so different from others. You gave him a chance—something I doubt many people have. I think he knows that and that’s why he kissed you. But he clearly refuses to capitalize on it and I won’t have you led on like a blind idiot. Either you reel him in or let him go, but you need to confront him if he won’t step up. You’re already crying about it for heavens’ sake! I swear if he makes you cry again I’ll—nevermind, no matter what the next time I see him I’m whooping his ass—“ 

“Thank you, Alisaie. You’re right, I’ll ask him and be upfront about my feelings. I... can’t let him lead me on if he’s not serious about it.” Alphinaud Interjected, smiling at his sister who was ready to go on about how she’d destroy Estinien, “You’re... you’re the best, Alisaie. I’m sorry for my pathetic display... you shouldn’t have to deal with me...” 

“It’s what I asked for, idiot.” Alisaie responded, reassuring her brother as she gripped his shoulder, “thanks, for trusting in me. I’m glad you told me— _ really glad _ .” 

They shared a tender moment as they hugged again. No matter what they kept each other grounded, and Alphinaud knew he had to return the favor: 

“Also, if I got so lucky you should just go for it and kiss Lyse.” 

“ _ Alphinaud _ .” 

* * *

“ _ ALPHINAUD _ _!_” 

In a moment the boy was squished in a bear hug that would leave him broken and sore for days.

“H-Haurchefant... it’s... nice to... see you... too...” the poor boy wheezed, feeling his lungs slowly collapse as his senses began failing him, only feeling Haurchefant affectionately smush him to death. 

“I’ve missed you so much! Sorry I haven’t bothered you in a while I kinda... had a lot of work to do that somehow piled up over the break... ha... ha...” Haurchefant admitted, finally releasing the tortured boy, oblivious to his gasps for air as he smiled at his friend, “I’m so happy you wanted to see me! The perfect time too, I was in the middle of making my famous stew! It’s one of the things I can make without messing up! You can’t burn stew after all!” 

Alphinaud was utterly confused by that statement, returning an oblivious smile as he decided to ignore his friend’s ramblings once he caught his breath. His ignorance didn’t last long, however, as a voice from inside tethered him back to the subject. 

“YOU IDIOT! WHY IS THERE SMOKE COMING FROM THE KITCHEN!?” 

Both boys turned in horror as they rushed into the heart of the apartment, the fire alarm comedically going off as they peered into the kitchen, completely mortified when they saw Estinien. Alphinaud swore he saw his rage materialize in a red aura radiating around him.

“Estinien...?” Haurchefant shakily whispered, fear in his eyes as his brother turned to him, eyes red in anger. 

“You.......... DUMBASS—“ he roared, Haurchefant yelping as he tried to run despite knowing how pointless it was. Estinien caught him, whacking his idiot brother hard. In a moment he was on the floor, barely conscious as Estinien marched back into the kitchen ready to deal with his brother’s mistake. Alphinaud happily stepped aside, not wanting to be in his way. He tiptoed to Haurchefant’s body and kneeled beside him, gently bring his head to his lap as he tried to assist his fallen friend. All he heard was Estinien wildly curse as he clamored around the kitchen. For a second he questioned his feelings for the devil in there, immediately snapping out of it when Haurchefant weakly raised his arm to him. 

“Re... Remember me... remember me, my dear friend...” he weakly spoke before passing out entirely, Alphinaud immediately panicking as he tried to wake his friend. He was so focused on his vain attempts to resuscitate Haurchefant that he didn’t hear the alarm stop and Estinien slowly approaching them. 

“Move away from him,  _ pipsqueak _ .” 

Alphinaud froze, slowly turning his head to look up to Estinien, murderous intent on his face as his eyes looked darker than usual. 

“E-Estinien...?” He silently asked, remembering why he feared him in the first place. He immediately got Haurchefant off him as gently as he could, shuffling to his feet as he moved away. Estinien glanced at him before picking up Haurchefant and throwing his unconscious body over his shoulder, taking him away. Alphinaud shivered, flinching with each step Estinien took until he disappeared into a room. Alphinaud regretted coming—this was a clear sign for him to give up. He wanted to run but was too scared to take another step. But it was far too late and he was stubborn, wanting to corner Estinien as Alisaie advised. So he swallowed hard as he heard the door open and close again, steps coming toward him. Alphinaud dared to look up, Estinien returning his gaze as he looked him up and down before he huffed and disappeared into the kitchen, the shuffling resuming. Alphinaud was utterly perplexed, unsure if he just lost a friend or not. He shook his head to snap out of it, realizing he was alone with his primary target. He didn’t want to mess up this golden opportunity, so he quietly psyched himself up before marching into the kitchen. 

“Estinien?” He spoke softly yet firmly, watching him clean up the mess as he ignored him. Alphinaud simply repeated his name, Estinien finally stopping as he cranked his head to him, still very angry at the current situation. 

“ _ What _ ?” He spat, his eyes piercing Alphinaud despite knowing he wasn’t at fault. 

“I...” Alphinaud began before blushing wildly as he looked at Estinien’s face. The memories flooded back in, leaving Alphinaud weak in the knees as he began to stutter. He failed his mission as Estinien simply turned away from him, too preoccupied to deal with Alphinaud’s antics. However, he still smiled when he heard Alphinaud take a sharp breath, shifting around as he got frustrated. Alphinaud was just too gullible and Estinien loved to tease. And as expected, he got mad and cleared his throat as he was determined to continue, “Estinien. I... I believe we need to talk.  _ Now _ .” 

The tall boy raised an eyebrow as he silently praised Alphinaud’s forwardness. He had cleared most of Haurchefant’s mess and was now washing his hands, “Oh? About what,  _ Alphinaud _ ?” 

He lost his power as he shivered at hearing his name—so used to being called pipsqueak that when Estinien would use his real name it aroused him differently. He flushed as he continued to fight a battle he couldn’t win, “About what? Estinien, we... we...” 

He couldn’t say it, his mouth twisting as he struggled to say the word—the forbidden act they did. His hands were in tight fists as he stood near the Kitchen’s entrance, averting his gaze from the tall man. Estinien was greeted to this display when he turned around, leaning against the counter as he smirked. 

“We what,  _ Alphinaud _ ?” 

“Don’t—!” Alphinaud squeaked, furious as he stepped forward, Estinien’s anger subsiding into a devious aura. Alphinaud lost his composure, his shoulders hunching as he looked down before turning away, admitting defeat, “Dammit Estinien... don’t tease me...  _ please _ ....” 

Estinien dropped his act the moment Alphinaud turned, his quick sadness breaking his heart. He forgot how sensitive the boy was, taking note of it for later consideration, “Alphinaud... fine. What do you want?” 

He still had a lot to work on, but Alphinaud understood Estinien meant to apologize. He felt scared to turn around, but overcame his anxiety as he faced Estinien again, “we need to talk... about what happened.” 

“I’m all ears.” 

Alphinaud hesitated before accepting his role as the leader of the conversation. He didn’t want to mess this up, so he made sure to straighten his shoulders as he stood before Estinien, taking a breath before starting, “Estinien. We kissed.  _ We kissed _ ... multiple times too... Why? Why did you kiss me?” 

Estinien saw this coming, but for some reason drew blanks as the boy stared at him, eyes full of uncertainty and worry. He tensed up, looking side to side as he avoided Alphinaud’s inquisitive eyes. He just sighed, figuring Estinien wouldn’t be so open at first. 

“Very well. I’m not mad Estinien—after all I... I responded positively to it. I don’t know why, but I responded  _ very _ positively to it. It’s been on my mind ever since... and, well, to be frank, I was disappointed that we hadn’t spoken about it earlier. I hoped you’d reach out to me, Estinien... but you didn’t. You must know I’m not the most confident person, so I got scared that it was all a mistake—was it? I’ll understand if it was...” 

Estinien remained silent, Alphinaud’s hopes slowly dying as Estinien barely moved. Alphinaud understood if he was uncomfortable—who wouldn’t be? He knew for a fact Estinien wasn’t gay and there’s no possible way he was attracted to him. It had to of been a mistake and Alphinaud respected Estinien's regret. As Alisaie said, He must’ve gotten overwhelmed when he talked about his past and didn’t know how to react to him accepting it. If anything, Alphinaud felt guilty for taking advantage of Estinien in such a state. He’d live with it, however, knowing he jeopardized their newborn connection and Estinien’s comfort because of his selfishness. 

Alphinaud sighed as he shook his head in utter defeat, eyes glued to the floor as he felt the disappointment drag him down, “Estinien, I understand. It’s... a mistake we can forget about. I won’t bother you anymore, okay? I’m so sorry—“ 

“ _ Alphinaud _ ,” Estinien interjected, the boy looking up to see Estinien with his face buried in his hand. Alphinaud looked at him curiously before Estinien peeked through his fingers at the boy, “Alphinaud. I don’t know why I did it, okay. But I did it— _ I kissed you _ —so don’t you dare blame yourself. Do I regret it? Yeah, I do. I shouldn’t have done it, but I did. But... gods did I want to. And gods do I want to kiss you again—but I can’t. _ I won’t _ .” 

“W-Wha—?” Alphinaud gasped at the confession, stepping closer to Estinien who held out his hand to stop him, instantly regretting it. 

“Don’t bother. You’re right, we should just forget about it—“ 

“No, Estinien! I-I don’t want to—not if there’s a—“ 

“ _ There’s no chance _ .” Estinien cruelly spat, Alphinaud on the verge of losing it as he stopped in front of Estinien, arms dropping as he stared at his tormentor, silently pleading with him. Estinien stiffened, but knew it had to be done, “I can’t give you what you want, Alphinaud, so don’t try it. I’m trying to end this nicely, so don’t push it.” 

“No.” Alphinaud shook his head, overwhelming Estinien as the boy looked up at him, eyes sad, yet, full of defiance, “Estinien, please—“ 

“No—“ 

“ _ Estinien _ .” 

“Listen to me, dammit—!” 

In a flash the boy ran forward, jumping onto Estinien as he held on to him tight. The taller boy was nearly knocked over, adjusting to having Alphinaud on him now. He cursed on instinct, trying to get Alphinaud off him. 

“Alphin—“ 

“Estinien. When you touched me—when you held me—it felt electric. I can’t describe it I—it was an electricity that made my body  _ sing _ . I... love that feeling Estinien. I-I need it, Estinien—I want it. But more than that I felt warm.  _ So warm _ . A heat inside me that I've never encountered before. I felt it spread throughout me as I crackled with the sparks  _ you gave me _ . It felt... heavenly, Estinien, and I know only you can give it to me. I’m... I’m in over my head and I sound crazy and selfish, but I mean it. It’s what I felt. If something between us is beginning then... then I won’t let it end here. So please, Estinien,  _ please _ . Don’t deny me... don’t be cruel... don’t...” 

He buried his head into Estinien’s chest as he confessed, clutching on to him for dear life. His heart was beating so fast, and if he wasn’t so emotional he would’ve heard Estinien’s heart matching his tempo. Estinien came to terms with Alphinaud’s feelings They felt the same about each other. This entire time he was confused by the feelings—the sensations—he had when it came to the boy in his arms. They angered and frustrated him, but more than that they  _ scared  _ him. Those sentiments were still there, but Alphinaud filled him with another feeling: Hope. He couldn’t help but wonder what he did to deserve the boy weeping in his arms, clinging onto him for dear life. The fates were truly cruel to him. He was willing to let him go for his own sake, but Alphinaud wouldn’t be denied so easily. He was too stubborn for his own good, knowing he’d come right back to him, over and over again until Estinien accepted him. He was so scared to claim his prize, but the way they were now, Estinien had no choice. And for once, he was happy about it. He looked fondly at the boy and gently placed his hand on his head as he sighed, 

“Alphinaud... I can’t give you the relationship you think this will lead to. I’m not going to hold your hand and kiss you in front of others. I’m not going to walk you to class and wait for you outside. But I’ll hold you when we’re alone. I’ll kiss you when we’re alone. When we’re alone I’ll do it all, okay? I’m...  _ sorry _ . I won’t risk you getting hurt, and I’ll be damned if you become a weakness.” 

The words heavily lingered in the air before Alphinaud slowly looked up, glossy-eyed his chin sank into Estinien’s chest. They analyzed each other for a moment before he softened, cracking a smile as he responded, “I understand, Estinien. Thank you for...  _ thank you. _ ” 

They both wondered what the other was thinking. Truthfully, they didn’t know what they were thinking themselves, struggling to grasp the uncertainty of their relationship. They knew, however, that it was meant to happen and willingly accepted this fate. What lies ahead, well, they’ll deal with it then. For now, they held each other close, Alphinaud basking in Estinien’s warmth as he was fondly caressed. Estinien enjoyed Alphinaud’s presence, finding it overwhelming the burnt smell that lingered in the kitchen and inviting him into a secret world they shared.

“Hey, Alphinaud?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You... make me warm, too.” 

***

“Haurchefant isn't dead, is he?" 

"He was breathing." 

"O-Oh. Okay." 

Sparks quietly danced between the two as they laid on the couch, beginning the process of adjusting to their sapling intimacy. Estinien sprawled his body the length of the furniture as Alphinaud happily perched on his lap before resting on his chest, head just below Estinien’s chin. They resorted to this comfortable state as both their lips were recovering from the lengthy makeout session they shared, indulging in little chats between them to pass the time. 

“Why are you so tiny?” 

“Huh?” Alphinaud curiously looked up, “tiny?” 

“You’re so small, pipsqueak.” 

“ _ Well _ , Estinien, you’re just too tall.” 

“You’ve seen my brothers, no? It runs in the family. Does yours suffer from height deficiency?” 

“H-Height deficiency!?” Alphinaud sputtered, offended. He looked angrily up at Estinien, “No, Estinien, not everyone in my family is small. Me and my sister, well, we like to say the height was shared between us.” 

Estinien laughed at that, “I see. It’d be embarrassing if she was taller than you—though, it’d fit her domineering nature.” 

“She’s not taller than me! And I’m bound for a growth spurt... hopefully.” 

Estinien laughed again, Alphinaud annoyed at his amusement but relishing the sound of his laugh, “keep believing, even if it’s too late. You’re full of surprises, after all.” 

He brought his hand to cup Alphinaud’s head, stroking it as Alphinaud nuzzled into his chest in response. Though fresh from their talk the two were eager to take the first steps into this...  _ relationship _ . Both were filled with excitement and a deep curiosity for the possibilities in store for them—but they’d try to take their time in feeling each other up before testing the limits. Another period of silence followed where the boys did nothing but enjoy each other’s company, heartbeats in harmony as their breathing synced. A good start, they believed. As they slowly dozed off, however, Estinien couldn’t help but reassert: 

“You know you can’t tell anyone, right?” 

“Y-Yeah. No one will know...” Alphinaud mumbled, shifting a little to look up at Estinien and smile, eyes full of guilt as he had broken the promise before it was made. 

Estinien sighed, leaning his head back in defeat as he shut his eyes once more, “At least, anyone beyond your stupid group of friends.” 

“They’re not—they don’t—“ Alphinaud began, giving up as the guilt spoke for him, “Only Alisaie and Y’shtola know something. I’m sorry I-I didn’t know. I won’t tell the others—I’ll make sure they don’t either.” 

“ _ Whatever _ . They’re your problem. I don’t plan on dealing with them anytime soon.” 

“Estinien. They’ve given you a second chance, you know. I’d like for you to get along with them—“ 

“What did I say, Alphinaud?” 

“Sorry...” He decided to drop his case for the time being. Alphinaud had to accept that they weren’t a real couple, though it was hard considering the way they held each other. His fantasies of being proper boyfriends were already threatening him and he knew he had to restrain them or else. So he decided to shift the conversation in a better direction, “you may be in the right, however. Alisaie has an ever-growing grudge against you, so it’d be wise to avoid her.” 

“What have I done this time?” 

“I... can’t say. Just avoid her at all costs for the time being.” 

“You twins are cut from different cloths... Still manage to be major headaches.” 

Alphinaud laughed this time, “cheeky. I could say the same about you and yours.” 

They joked back and forth until it became flirtatious, deciding to reengage each other in heated kisses once they ran out of things to say. They traveled into a realm only they could reach together, rolling in virgin bliss until a voice snapped them out of it and severed them from paradise. They heard Haurchefant call out to his brother from his room, the two boys sighing as they separated. Reality hit them hard, especially Alphinaud who was crushed by the fact that this was all that’s in store for them. It hurt to lie, worse when Estinien felt galaxies away from him as he walked away as if nothing happened. As if they were strangers... In one moment they were at a fever pitch, then left at a chilling cold in the next. Alphinaud wondered if it was just as hard for Estinien. He figured it wasn’t. 

“Est—oh!? Alphinaud! You’re still here?” Haurchefant asked as he hobbled toward his friend, just missing Estinien who ran into his own room. 

“Yes... I was worried so I decided to stay—you shouldn’t be up! Estinien hit you hard, huh?” Alphinaud asked after he jumped up to help his friend, his head still throbbed in pain. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I swear I’m usually the one who beats him up.” 

“Of course.” Alphinaud smiled, helping him sit down before perching next to him. Haurchefant instantly grabbed him into a hug, squishing his small friend, “please... let me... go—“ 

“He didn’t bother you, did he? I’m afraid when he gets mad everyone’s his enemy.” 

“N-No...” Alphinaud answered before he was released, coughing in a desperate need of air before lying, “after you passed out he carried you to your room before he cleaned up the mess. When he finished he went to his room. He... completely ignored me.” 

“That’s good. Though, I wish he’d talk with you more. Guess it’s better he didn’t this time. One day.” 

“ _ One day _ .” Alphinaud repeated, sorrowful eyes glued to the ground. He missed Estinien—missed the little world they shared then destroyed. They were aiming too high, and it only made the crash worse. It hurt that it was built with discreetness and lies, but Alphinaud was more than willing to endure it. He felt bad for lying to his friend, and it stung harder since he knew he’d do it again and again. 

“I’m starving! Estinien didn’t make anything, did he?” 

Alphinaud simply shrugged as his best friend sighed, complaining about his hunger until he got up to try and cook again. Alphinaud closely followed, fully intent on preventing another hell from spewing over. Once again, his mind soared amongst the clouds as it desperately raced past the sun's peak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading the first part of Zenith! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! 
> 
> Thank you!!!!!


	10. Zenith II

_ So what? You two are dating now?  _

_ _

_ No Alisaie, we’re not—  _

_ _

_ But he said he liked you? What happened—?  _

_ _

_ H-He didn’t say that! We just... it’s complicated, okay!  _

_ _

_ Whatever. You got your prince. Now what?  _

_ _

_ He’s not—listen to me! It’s nothing serious... now, at least. We wish to be private as we sort it out—  _

_ _

_ Private? So he’s your secret—no, you’re his secret. That scumbag—  _

_ _

_ Alisaie, please. I... I want to be private with it too. There’s still much we need to figure out, and it’s better to handle it behind closed doors—  _

_ _

_ Yeah. Handle each other, alright.  _

_ _

_ Alisaie. I’m telling you because I want you to know. I’m interested in him, so be nice. Don’t start things if I invite him over—  _

_ _

_ Oh, so I’m the villain, huh!? He always starts things! I simply respond—!  _

_ _

_ Okay, okay. I apologize for antagonizing you. I don’t want you two to fight, that’s all. I really... want to get to know him more before it’s anything serious. Don’t look at me like that—ah, fine! I-I like him, okay. A lot. But we... he can’t be my boyfriend, and I’m okay with that. We agreed to try this out. I just want you to get along with him. I... I think you’ll like him.  _

_ _

_ Oh, Alphinaud... fine. Who knew you were so weak to love. I can imagine how you’ll be on Valentione's day. _

_ _

_ Spare me.  _

_ _

_ You know, grandfather would disapprove of him.  _

_ _

_ So? He doesn’t need to know. And I don’t need his permission.  _

_ _

_ Hmph. I’ll give you points for that.  _

* * *

Time passed since the Heavens realigned and conformed to the birth of a new constellation—to the “relationship” formed between Alphinaud and Estinien. Though both boys shined brighter than the cosmos next to each other, it wasn’t as hallowed as it seemed. It was wonky, with no definitive label to describe it. It had no sense of direction and the idea of going “forward” lead to more uncertainty. That was to be expected given their choice to remain in the dark would only work if the sun never rose—and just what is more truer than the sun rising? They weren’t boyfriends—but by no means cut and dry friends with benefits. They hadn’t done anything explicit, and by extension, couldn’t be lovers since they hadn’t “made love” or anything close to it (despite both privately fantasizing about the other). They refused to go into the details of what this “relationship” entailed, but unknowingly shared ideas they'd find agreeable between both parties. Through it all, however, kept a constant connection as they spoke frequently. Sometimes idle chitchat, sometimes flirtatious threats, sometimes vicious arguments—all that matter is that they communicated. Their dependence had taken root, nourished by the fondness they had for one another. They spoke via text religiously, with the rare phone call from time to time. Alphinaud made sure to be his first good morning and last goodnight, as Estinien made sure to be his rock when school got tough. They would sometimes see each other at school, a smile and tender gaze shared in the one second they’d pass. They rarely had a physical moment alone, with Estinien unable to knock out Haurchefant every time Alphinaud came over and Alisaie promising to destroy Estinien the moment she sees him. It got to the point where Alphinaud unlocked the council room and practically begged Estinien to visit him—the thrill of being caught exciting, as well as freaking, them out. They remained limited to hugs and kisses, silently longing for more as their time concluded. The forced passivity slowly intensified their desire for each other, inching closer and closer to a massive eruption.

They were fed up with being unable to spend private time together, and knew they had to find a way to make it happen fast. Estinien had teased—practically threatened—to sneak into Alphinaud’s room at night, and as much as he wanted that, Alphinaud knew better than to allow it. A longing to be intimate had infected them, and Alphinaud was the first to crack as he cursed everything to the deepest hell before resolving to confront Alisaie and express his want to invite Estinien over. He slipped the idea when he followed up with her after the day Estinien accepted his feelings, but she hadn’t nudged since. It took him a day to plan it and psych himself up for the inevitable beatdown he’d receive. His resolve was unwavering considering how willing he is to go through every hell and back for Estinien. 

It was a bloody battle to say the least. The twins fought with words, Alphinaud pleading to his sister as she persistently denied him. He argued that he’d let Alisaie invite Lyse over even if he didn’t like her—which Alisaie completely tossed aside as they weren’t even a couple and was completely irrelevant to the current situation. Alphinaud made the mistake of poking into that subject and blaming her for it. From there it spiraled out of control as both hurled all their grievances for the other as it escalated into its dramatic climax: Alphinaud falling on his hands and knees and begging like an absolute child. He groveled shamelessly, promised her everything he could think of to appease her. Alisaie was completely over it, not knowing whether to pity him for stooping to such an embarrassing tactic or admire his resolve to be with Estinien. He wouldn’t crumble, however, and eventually got her permission as she grew bored of the whole situation. Physical violence adverted, she begrudgingly promised she’d never tell anyone about his display. Alphinaud beamed at his success in private, lying to Estinien about how it happened when he properly invited him over during the weekend. 

What could go wrong? 

Well, for starters, Estinien’s an asshole. 

The day arrived and Alisaie’s hands were in tight fists as she stared down the dragon holding her brother hostage, who nonchalantly met back her murderous gaze when he entered the living area behind her brother. Alphinaud stood in front of him, quietly pleading with Alisaie to remember the promise she made. She got the hint, swallowing her fury as she forcibly undid her fists and breathed. 

“Hello, Estinien. Nice to see you  _ again _ .” 

“Hey, twerp.”

Alphinaud barely blinked before his sister shrieked and jumped to attack mode. He managed to intercede her, however, holding her back as she tried to fight her way to kill Estinien. The twins tumbled to the floor, Alisaie screaming threats to Estinien as Alphinaud told him to run. The said teen just stood there with a smirk, inevitably bursting in laughter. It fueled Alisaie’s rage as it warmed Alphinaud’s heart, the former managing to break away from her brother and start her attack on Estinien, who smoothly dodged her blows. 

“I’m gonna murder you, you piece of shit—I don’t care if you’re fucking my brother  _ you’re fucking dead _ —“ Alisaie cursed, Estinien amused at her tirade. Estinien found the Leveilleurs so easy to rile up, accepting that he was, at the minimum, slightly fond of them because of it. 

They danced around the house, Alphinaud staggered behind them in horror. Though comical, the poor boy was living his worst nightmare as he kissed goodbye to a future where Alisaie and Estinien could get along. His sister eventually stopped in her tracks, fixed on killing the boy who grinned back. 

“Alisaie... Estinien... please...” Alphinaud weakly begged, stumbling between them again, looking at both of them with glossy eyes, “Estinien, apologize to her—“ 

“What? I thought I’d give her a nickname like I did for you, pipsqueak.” Estinien answered lightheartedly. 

“And in return, Alphinaud, I’ll give your boyfriend an early death—“ 

“He’s not my—!” 

“You’re welcome to try. Though, I’ve been offered multiple times and yet here I stand.” 

The two had a staredown, Alphinaud completely at a loss on what to do. Alisaie, in all her rage, wanted nothing more than to pulverize Estinien into dust. But, she made a promise to Alphinaud, and in her mind’s eye, couldn’t deny the smile Alphinaud’s donned like a lovesick fool since they established their little thing. She gave in, deciding to take it out on him after Estinien left. 

“Fine. I want him out of my sight—and I’m staying right here.” 

“Thank you,” Alphinaud whispered before turning to Estinien and glowering at him who just shrugged back. He eventually rolled his eyes and acquiesced to Alphinaud’s silent threat. 

“Sorry, twer— _ Alisaie _ .” 

Alisaie almost growled but kept it down as she shook her body to stretch and relax it. 

“Uh, okay. I think... Estinien and I will be in my room.” 

“Ew... whatever.” Alisaie muttered, watching her brother nod in embarrassment before turning around and guide Estinien away, who had the nerve to wink at her. She spent the afternoon plotting ways to murder him without completely breaking Alphinaud’s heart. She deemed it too hard so she gave up on trying to appease her brother, finding so many ways to destroy Estinien with no holds barred. Until then, she texted Lyse to relieve some stress, not wanting to hear them do whatever they planned to do. 

♡♡♡

“I am so sorry, Estinien. I hope you can forgive my sister’s behavior. But you weren’t so well-behaved yourself.” 

“You apologize too much.” 

“I... so it seems. This is turning out to be quite the mistake, huh?” 

“Mistake?” Estinien repeated, slightly offended, “well, that’s unfortunate. Can’t say I’m surprised. I’ll leave.”

“I didn’t mean it like you’re the mistake. It’s... too early to bring you here when Alisaie’s around without hell spewing over. That’s all. I still want you to stay with me.” 

Estinien's heart skipped a beat at the last part, his cheeks slowly turning pink as he responded by flicking Alphinaud’s forehead, causing the boy to stumble back and quietly fuss about it. Estinien simply crossed his arms and turned away. He couldn’t help being moody from the isolation he endured over their situation, but the boy’s words tugged his heartstrings. 

“What was that for?” Alphinaud asked, Estinien refusing to answer which caused him to sigh in defeat, “I’ll never understand you...” 

Alphinaud decided to move on and properly welcome Estinien into his room, jumping on his bed and inviting Estinien to sit with him, eager to get things started. Despite ready to pounce on him to make up for lost time, Estinien took a moment to analyze the room since the last time he was here. It no longer donned the small decorations Alphinaud had during the holidays, noting how pristine and organized it was. He figured Alphinaud would be precise about these things, but couldn’t help wonder if he specifically cleaned up because he was coming over. He internally smiled at the idea of Alphinaud running around his already perfect room and nitpicking things that were out of order (and he’d be happy to know that’s exactly what happened). After he finished examining his surroundings Estinien took his seat next to Alphinaud. 

Alphinaud sat twiddling his thumbs as he didn’t know how to proceed and was hoping Estinien would take the initiative. Similarly, he followed his small partner’s model as he waited for Alphinaud to speak up, but figured he’d die waiting as he saw his periodic glances toward him, his nervous ticks having settled in. So, he decided to lean back against the bed, using pillows to keep him at an incline as he snaked his hand around Alphinaud to bring him down as well. He immediately adjusted to lay comfortably on Estinien’s chest. This was their signature position, the two so used to holding each other in such a way it became a haven. The familiar warmth cradled them as they were transported to zenith in each other’s arms. They longed to be like this, in their own world, and needed no words as silence elevates these intimate moments between them. Alphinaud hummed into Estinien’s chest as he felt hands gently stroke him, the vibration resonating with Estinien’s heartbeat. They fulfilled each other’s needs to be touched, which trickled into satiating their hunger for intimacy as they naturally fell into a liplock. Both boys now beyond accustomed to each other and after a while of reintroducing their  _ familiarity  _ they shared terms of endearment followed by Estinien teasing Alphinaud. He couldn’t explain why Alphinaud brought out this playful side of him, but the sparks of joy he felt were the most real thing in that bedroom.

Eventually, they fell off of things to say, but Alphinaud’s thoughts lingered to one of the things bothering him for quite some time. It sat on tip of his tongue, and as much as he wanted to repress it, he had to know:

“Estinien... I must know, you’re not... gay... are you?”

Alphinaud took a risk as he dared to ask, praying to each of the Twelve that it wouldn’t irreversibly ruin the mood. Estinien was visibly uncomfortable with the question, tensing up as he looked down at him. He wasn’t mad and he couldn’t fault the boy for his curiosity—after all, he was out about his sexuality, and Estinien never communicated his. Truthfully, he never thought about reconsidering it. 

“Well...” Estinien cleared his throat, “I’m not inherently attracted to men. Though, our circumstances show differently. I can’t give you a solid answer as to  _ why  _ this happened, but I know for certain I’m not... that.” 

Alphinaud pursed his lips at the answer, but nodded in understanding, guilty for making him uncomfortable, “that’s quite alright, Estinien. I’m grateful you were open enough to try this out.” 

He wanted to say more but decided it best to drop it. The gesture would go unnoticed as Estinien had a moment to think before coming to an answer, “you’re feminine.” 

“What?” Alphinaud twitched. 

“You’re feminine, Alphinaud. I don’t mean to insult your masculinity, but you didn't strike me as a traditional male. You’re... more beautiful than handsome. Heh. If it wasn’t for the uniform I would’ve taken you as a passing girl at school.” 

“You’re point?” Alphinaud spat, absolutely irritated as he was brought back to how Matoya and many others misgendered him. He absolutely hated being mistaken for his sister—but to be taken for a girl? He’d have none of it. Estinien cracking a smile at his visible anger. 

“You’re laying on my chest for gods’ sake. It’s obvious who's who between us. In no world would I be willing to do this with you if you didn’t remotely look as you do.” 

“What are you trying to say?” 

“I'm telling you that I’m... attracted to you.” 

If Alphinaud wasn’t irked he’d of blush, “well then. I’m sorry I’m not a girl. Looks as if you’ve chosen the wrong Leveilleur.” 

Estinien raised an eyebrow at Alphinaud shifting away from him as a meager attempt to create distance. It was so minuscule it accidentally entertained him, “You and your twin look the same, yes, but I’m not attracted to that gremlin. I can get being jealous of others, Alphinaud, but of your sister—?” 

“I’m not jealous! I have no reason to be... And leave my sister out of this.” 

“You’re the one who brought her up.” 

“I was—it doesn’t matter! I know there’s more... attractive people out there than me, so I appreciate you settling for me but please don’t remind me.” By this point, Alphinaud was completely off of Estinien, head resting on his knees as he hugged himself. He was more annoyed than angered as he knew Estinien was teasing, but he took a real blow to his ego and felt insecure about himself and the relationship. 

“Well, Alphinaud,” Estinien sighed as he crossed his legs and brought his arms to the back of his head, “you don’t have to be self-conscious about that. I’m not a whore. I’m interested in you, not others. You may not be a girl but I’ve come to accept that I don’t have a problem with it. Gods, I’m having relations with another man and, for some reason, I’m unbothered by it. Content, even...  _ Alphinaud _ ,  _ listen _ ...  _ I like you _ . So, you have no right to feel that way.”

Alphinaud’s mouth quietly dropped as Estinien ramble on, his mood shifting as his heart overtook his mind. He hated how easy it is for Estinien to sway his emotions—how easily manipulated he is. All Estinien had to do was say the right things and he was falling for him once again. He couldn’t deny the giddiness he felt toward Estinien’s subtle acts of kindness, and how the butterflies thrash within when he’s a bit romantic toward him. He felt elevated when in reality he was putty in Estinien’s hands—literally throwing himself in his arms after the fact. Estinien liked him back, and Alphinaud made sure Estinien understood his feelings as he chanted his own confession back to him. Estinien caught him, making sure his flame wouldn’t leave him again as they made out for the millionth time. He grinned toward the boy’s eagerness. They adjusted to each other as they made sure this one would last, only breaking away to look into each other’s eyes at silent intervals. Admitting his attraction to him and that he liked him, Alphinaud felt more confident to deepen the kiss, which was immediately noticed as Estinien responded with the same intensity. Tongues danced as the idle warmth became a rampant fire as passion bounced between them. Both became excruciatingly hot and heavy, utterly captivated as they breathed in each other. 

“And just what kind of relations are we having,  _ Estinien _ ?” 

“It depends.” 

“On what?” 

Estinien looked smug as he smirked at the question while the boy was straddled on him and cupped his face. Their noses almost touched as Estinien set off the wildfire, “Well, Alphinaud, on how far you’re willing to go.” 

The hands on his hips tightened as Alphinaud gulped, searching deep within his partner’s eyes for the meaning of the cryptic answer. All he found was a storm of lust waging within that was threatening to swallow him whole. He quivered at the thought, his own excitement shooting up and infecting him like a drug within his veins. He found himself swept along the tide of fervor as he looked innocently at Estinien, struggling to answer him without revealing his private lusts. 

“W-Well Estinien... we’ve kissed so much in not sure what else to do—what-what can we do?” Alphinaud poked back, trying to understand Estinien’s intentions while being seductive with his face and body, Estinien snickering at his attempts. 

“Oh don’t act so innocent now, Alphinaud. You didn’t think this arrangement entailed hugs and kisses only?” Estinien teased, Alphinaud grinning wide as he stifled his giggle at Estinien’s bluntness, “you once said your hands had many talents. Surely one of them applies to our current predicament?” 

Alphinaud was absolutely dazzled by Estinien, licking his lips as he didn’t know how to proceed. Estinien, like a devil, wickedly smiled at him, causing his butterflies to take flight as he leaned in and pecked him on the lips. Then, Estinien made the journey to his neck where he staked his claim as he fervently kissed and sucked on the sensitive area. 

“ _ Estinien _ ...” Alphinaud moaned his name, trying to push away from the sensitivity on instinct. It was pointless as he found Estinien’s grip to be unyielding as his hands wandered to his bottom, giving him a squeeze. The fear of a mark on his neck was real but Alphinaud couldn’t care less as Estinien forced him to expose his neck more, gasping when he felt a bite, “I—“ 

“What do  _ you  _ want to do, Alphinaud?” whispered against his budding lover’s neck, his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin, each breath echoing into Alphinaud’s senses. His own hitched, sparking something almost primal within Estinien. He wasn’t the only one treading on the wild side, as Alphinaud surrendered to his libido while Estinien continued to suck on his neck. Without a proper conversation, they communicated how ready they were to defile the pure warmth of their bond. 

“Gods Estinien, everything— _ everything _ . W-Whatever  _ you  _ want.” 

Estinien beamed like a monster ready to feast, making sure to look Alphinaud dead in the eye, “need more than that, pip—“ 

“I-I want to make you feel good, Estinien. Tell me what to do—I’ll-I’ll do it.  _ Please _ .” 

“You sure?” Estinien hadn’t completely lost his humanity, pitying how frantically the boy nodded his reassurance but deciding to give him what he wanted, “blow me.” 

A simple request considering how horny both were. Alphinaud was half expecting to go all the way at this rate—and was slightly disappointed by the fact. Still, a wave of reality tampered his enthrallment. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared about performing the act, but like Estinien said he didn’t need to act innocent. He thought about doing it for quite a while, and now the opportunity was here to make his fantasy real. He hoped for the future that it wouldn’t be the final one made true, so he had to do his best and please Estinien. For a moment he considered the implications of Alisaie still being in the house, but figured—and desperately prayed—she’d respect their privacy with the obvious hint that they were in his room. Plus, he locked the door and knew sounds wouldn’t easily escape. He mentally listed reasons to go through with it, finding there never existed a reality where he wouldn’t blow Estinien right then and there. 

He wouldn’t have known his deep contemplation was so obvious if Estinien didn’t nudge him, realizing he had been biting his lip and any longer would’ve produced blood. Alphinaud gulped on impulse while looking back under Estinien’s watchful gaze, “of-of course if that’s what you want. I’ll... happily oblige.” 

His giddiness returned as Estinien curiously looked at him for a moment before softening, deciding to kiss the boy once again as a final offering to him—Alphinaud happily accepting it. His body sang as Estinien felt him up, the sheer excitement dangerously peaking as he felt intoxicated from the kiss alone. No one could have guessed how nymph-like he was as he began to earnestly rub himself against Estinien’s crotch, the sweet friction making them moan into each other, Alphinaud’s visible heat inflating Estinien‘s ego. 

“Didn’t take you to be a desperate—“ 

“Shut it.” Alphinaud immediately interjected, capturing Estinien in a ferocious kiss. It was finally his opportunity to sexually explore and he wouldn’t have Estinien ruining it by being a complete jackass. Estinien wasn’t a particular fan of being made to submit but couldn’t deny how sexy Alphinaud was forcibly taking command. He pushed them down on the bed, completely on top of Estinien as both grinded into each other. They could’ve remained tangled like that for hours humping like two animals in heat, but they were on a time crunch and desperate to continue. 

Estinien cursed when Alphinaud ended the kiss, deciding it was time to put his mouth to proper use. He hovered over Estinien as he slowly made his descent, the two adjusting comfortably to fit Alphinaud below him. They felt the need to say something—to ask whether it was okay and if the other was absolutely sure of it. But neither said a word, too intimidated by the silence to break it. It took a simple glance to ignite a tender moment as they looked at each other, the raw storm of lust slowly dissipating into a moment of clarity. It was a special moment for them and both wanted to enjoy it and each other as best they could. They cared for each other and knew despite its extremity, this act showed that. So, Estinien gave his blossoming lover a slight nod, as he felt his small, but strong, hand make its journey up his leg and arrive at its destination, joined by the other as they felt the hardness buried within the pants. They’ve known each other for months, and have only been involved for a few weeks and are now here. The impossible became possible—neither imagining arriving at such a point together. Despite being one of many peaks to be experienced, they felt higher than the sun at its peak in Alphinaud’s room that day. The gates to endless possibilities were slowly opened as Alphinaud unbuttoned the pants, the pre-established limits disintegrating as he undid the zipper. They both held their breaths as Alphinaud meticulously worked his way to his prize, hesitantly gripping the hem of his underpants, but nonetheless determined to quench them both. Thus did he quickly push them down, too eager from his excitement that it sprang out and slapped Alphinaud in the face, yelping as he flushed with embarrassment. It was humiliating, and Estinien tried to bar his laughter but failed, escaping when Alphinaud looked at him red as a tomato. 

“Gods Alphinaud, how silly can you be?” 

“S-Shut up!” Alphinaud barked, utterly defeated and emasculated. He wanted to hide, but Estinien gently pets him, deciding to squeeze his cheek before cheering him up. 

“So silly but  _ so sexy _ …” Estinien grinned wickedly, running his hands over Alphinaud’s head to enkindle his confidence as the boy looked at him doe-eyed, “  _ Gods Alphinaud _ , you can’t look at me like that with such an  _ inviting  _ mouth…  _ Fuck _ , you’d look amazing with my cock shoved in it. Hurry it up before I get impatient, Alphinaud.” 

The lewdness flustered Alphinaud but reignited him as Estinien begged him to continue. He let go of his anger as, much like Estinien, he wanted to put him in his mouth so badly. Though completely new to it, Alphinaud wasn’t stupid and knew the basic skills and techniques it took to give a blowjob. As he admired Estinien’s girth he tried to outline how to begin—and considering that he was, as he correctly guessed, well endowed, well, put a lot more pressure on the boy. He accepted there was no way it would all fit in his mouth, so he began by slowly gripping it, feeling it up and down as he experimented and found that both his hands weren’t enough to completely cover it. It thrilled him as it frightened him, captivated by the fact he’s seeing Estinien in such an intimate manner. Estinien watched him explore, holding back a groan as he was touched. It was as if he’s never seen a dick before—just too cute and way too innocent that Estinien almost felt bad for corrupting his virtue. His guilt didn’t last long as Alphinaud began jerking him off with purpose, Estinien relishing the service as he leaned back. He stopped himself from making noise, his ego not wanting to give off how much he was enjoying it and show he was at Alphinaud’s mercy. His stance didn’t last long, however, as he felt curious licks at the tip of his dick. 

“Fuck—ah—“ Estinien moaned out before shutting his mouth, looking at Alphinaud wide-eyed. The boy was completely lost, eyes closed as he continued to lick Estinien’s dick all over, reveling in his musk. He was mesmerizing, Estinien helplessly breath-taken as he looked at his north star. It was as if an angel extinguished the sins of a demon, his body wanting nothing more than to sing the hymn of retribution that left Alphiaud’s lips and entered him. He fought the urge to arch back and convulse in response as he knew it wouldn’t match the ecstasy he felt watching Alphinaud now hungrily lick him up. He deserved to hear Estinien, and his ears tingled at the foreign sound of the boy’s bliss-ridden moans and curses. He opened an eye and saw Estinien, the urge to please him lifted to a critical level as he wanting nothing more than to give him the time of his life and then some. It was the only thing that mattered to him as he began to slobber up and kiss Estinien’s dick wildly, ignoring the mess his saliva made as he worshipped it. His previous research reminded him that it wasn’t enough to completely satisfy a man, so he descended lower to give much-needed attention to his balls. Estinien  _ lost it _ . The sensation of Alphinaud licking and sucking them combined with feeling his small hand jerk him off almost had him howling, losing his composure as the storm clouded his eyes again.

“Fuck, Alphinaud,  _ fuck _ . Put me in your fucking mouth— _ now _ .” He cursed recklessly, gripping the boy’s hair to pull him off, Alphinaud gasped at the motion, the flash of pain immediately overshadowed by Estinien’s hauntingly beautiful gaze. They shared a quiet understanding and the moment Estinien let go, Alphinaud got to work. He properly took him in, trying to fit as much as he could before bobbing up and down, jerking off what he couldn’t fit with his hands. It was the standard technique, and despite being his first time, Alphinaud fared well, feeling his mouth naturally massage his dick and avoid choking as best it could. He would take breaks by plopping Estinien out with a loud pop and solely jerking him off, maximizing his service while giving his mouth a break. He was just as turned on but neglected his own erection to solely focus on Estinien, who was busy experiencing heaven for the first time. He looked up to see Estinien squirm, awestruck by how much he was enjoying it. Alphinaud’s heart soared as he saw Estinien’s face—eyes long shut as his mouth was in a perfect O, lost in the rapture. He felt pride—but more than that, Alphinaud felt determined. Determined to pleasure him further. To make him feel good— _ no _ , greater. To make Estinien happy,  _ always. _

Alphinaud quietly swore his devotion as he continued, pushing the limits of how much he could fit of Estinien. The tall boy’s arms flew as he gripped Alphinaud’s head, forcing him deeper as he felt his climax approaching. He got the message, Alphinaud sucking eagerly for his reward, determined to take all he would give him. And he did, as Estinien tightened his grip as he gave a final thrust into his sweet mouth, ascending beyond the clouds as he released the warm fluid. Alphinaud swallowed as much as he could, experiencing his own high over making Estinien cum. They remained locked in that position for a moment, Estinien still hard as Alphinaud slowly got off him with a final pop, swallowing the last of Estinien. Before he could feel sinful and dread what he did, Alphinaud was pulled up and kissed senselessly. They merely brushed against the zenith of their stars as their mouths went red and sore as they frantically made out. The raw passion began to stabilize, however, the two falling into a lazy liplock as they grounded themselves. 

“ _ That was fucking amazing _ .” Estinien breathlessly complimented as he fixed his pants, excitement gone down, causing Alphinaud to beam with pride. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Though, your words fall short compared to your moans.” 

“Heh. You’ll probably hear me sing next time. Gods, I can’t believe that was your first time—to think you were made for this.” 

“ _ Estinien _ ...” Alphinaud groaned as he flushed, rolling his eyes as the Estinien flashed a toothy grin before capturing the boy’s lips once more.

“ _ I mean it... Gods... your mouth... is mine, pipsqueak...All of you—mine _ .” Estinien swore in between kisses, Alphinaud frozen in shock. Sparks burst around as the warmth swelled within, stirring Alphinaud back to life as he kissed back. He felt himself move automatically as he ran his hands through Estinien’s hair, focusing on feeling the man he just devoted himself to. 

_ Mine.  _

_ Mine.  _

_ Mine.  _

_ He said... I’m his.  _

_ His...  _

Alphinaud was beyond saving—but he never wanted to be saved.  _ He didn’t need to be saved. _ He belongs to Estinien now and that’s what mattered to him most. Estinien was scared he’d ruin Alphinaud—that he’d be burned like the rest who were unlucky to know him. Now, however, he feared Alphinaud would be the one to burn him—to permanently mark him. To…  _ change him _ . As he held him, he realized Alphinaud was so much more powerful than him, and for once, he was happy. With all his power Alphinaud could lift him higher, and Estinien believed it at that moment. He believed they could find their zenith—no, they could reach beyond the limits of this sky to beyond

They drifted into a sweet sleep together—truly entangling themselves whilst on-high as they soared together in dreams. 

But then reality knocked 

♡♡♡

"IT'S BEEN ALL DAY! GET OUT OF THAT ROOM BEFORE I BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!" 

Both boys stirred at the disturbance but were given no quarter when the banging continued. 

“GET OUT! ESTINIEN IF YOU DID SOMETHING TO ALPHINAUD I’LL END YOU—ALPHINAUD OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!” 

The sister continued to shriek as both boys laid in each other’s arms. After the peak moment they shared followed a period of quiet nuzzling and gentle sweet talk before answering a pivotal question. Eventually, they drifted into a nice nap that was just ended by the outside intruder. They looked at each other half-asleep, but Alphinaud jumped out of bed before Alisaie went and tore his door off the hinges. 

“Coming... I’m coming! Alisaie, please!” 

They couldn’t say they were in love but by the gods were they acting like it. With Estinien sprawled in bed, a messy-haired Alphinaud opened the door to his sister, who immediately peeked in to locate the violator who overstayed his welcome. 

“Your boyfriend needs to vacate the premises.  _ Now _ .” 

“Alisaie, he’s not my boyfriend.” Alphinaud reaffirmed for her to just ignore it as Estinien smirked at that statement. 

“It doesn’t matter what he is, it's late. He needs to go—“ Alisaie began before something caught her attention, and her senses flared as she looked at Alphinaud in horror, “by the—is-is that a hickey?” 

*** 

"Seems as if I won't be sharing food or drinks with you for the next week." Alisaie quipped, petrifying her brother like stone. 

They didn’t know how, but Estinien managed to leave with all his limbs intact. Well, leave isn’t the proper word to use—he was practically thrown out by Alisaie. He left without a hassle since he had his fill of Alphinaud for the time being, but felt it necessary to give him a sweet kiss before he left, Alisaie seething but kept herself composed, nonetheless. 

“So did you sort anything out—? Never mind, I know for a fact you didn’t.” Alphinaud was still at a loss of words on what to do. Of course he didn’t tell her what happened in the room and frankly, she didn’t want to know how exactly the hickey got there. She was more embarrassed on behalf of her brother, and Estinien smug attitude around his mark didn’t sit well with her. She was fine with them exploring—it wasn’t her business and she didn’t want it to be to an extent—but she wouldn’t have her brother paraded around like a toy for Estinien. 

“Alisaie...” Alphinaud groaned, finally able to function past his embarrassment. He responded to his sister, “we did talk. Just a little—ah, besides the point. We... were exclusive and well... he likes me.” 

“So—?” She asked, smiling as she prepared to make her guess of their relationship’s current state.

“No, Alisaie. He’s not my boyfriend.” 

“Then what is he? Your lover? Or friends with... whatever, you two have been talking for quite some time. Just get to the point: should I start planning the wedding now—“ 

“I—no, Alisaie. I don’t know. And stop looking at me like that... We like each other and that’s all that matters.” 

“Yay.” Alisaie half-heartedly cheered, “what could possibly go wrong?” 

“Alisaie. Just... get used to seeing him more, okay?” 

“Hmph. I’ve gained another brother, huh.” 

Alphinaud shook his head as he gave up on playing into her jokes. He’d have to accept the inevitable sarcasm and teases Alisaie had in store for him. He just hoped she wouldn’t bond with Estinien on over it—the thought absolutely terrifying him. The two could single-handedly ruin him if they embarrass him enough, and with the things Alisaie knew... Maybe he did make a mistake...

“Anyway, Alphinaud, go take a shower. And make it long for the one time I need you to. I’m not touching you until your absolutely clean of him. Don't worry about the mark I'll... give you some makeup to cover it...” Alisaie complained, continuing to ramble on about how awful Estinien was and how he’d corrupt him. As much as Alphinaud hated to admit it, he appreciated his sister’s meddling. She cared about him, and it showed every time she bothered him about Estinien. He knew, however, she had nothing to worry about. 

They could only go higher, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ............ I will NOT apologize for what was written..................
> 
> Thank you for reading! Kudos, Comments, and Sharing are always appreciated!
> 
> Have a wonderful day!! :D
> 
> Edit: I’m really in tears over the fact that the story has reached over 500 hits that really means so much to me. Yada yada the numbers don’t mean anything and they don’t because I do this for my own self-indulgence and for those who also ship them but it’s so validating to see that number even if the story hasn’t reached its conclusion (slowly,,,, but surely,,,,,,,,,,,). I can only thank y’all so much for accompanying me on this journey and listening (well, reading) to my storytelling. I’ll repeat it as many times as I must:
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Thank You!!
> 
> THANK YOU!!!


	11. At the Gates of Eden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Heavens would be their next conquest,  
Yet, the mortal realm tied their feet to the ground beneath them.  
Defiant, they would bring the Heavens to them.  
And with a simple seed of love,  
would they grow their Garden of Eden.

“Why don’t we just buy some, Alphinaud? It’ll be better than the vile concoction we have now.”

“It won’t be the same, Alisaie. We have to make them ourselves or they won’t mean anything.”

“You sure are trying hard for someone whose _ not _ your boyfriend.”

“Were you not the one who insisted we make them from scratch for_ — _ and I quote _ — _ our _special someone_. When did you and Lyse go official _ — _?”

“Don’t you dare twist my words! T-T-That’s not what I meant!” Alisaie stuttered, the chocolate on her cheek surrounded a halo of pink as she flushed.

“Relax, I know. I just think it’s nice that you two are going on a date_ — _ even if it _is _platonic.”

Alphinaud looked at the disaster before him. His eyes housed a glimmer of sadness_ — _ not for how pathetic they looked, he accepted that neither he or his sister were chocolatiers. He was sad he couldn’t spend Valentione’s Day how Alisaie or any couple would. Of course, he knew all too well that he and Estinien were not a couple, and he still looked forward to spending the day with him, but Alisaie got to be with Lyse in public. They could walk around and enjoy the day of ardor alongside real couples _ — _ people who could be together under the sun. They could sit at restaurants, looking into each other with hearts in their eyes. They could hold hands down the streets, fingers intertwined into unbreakable bridges of love. They could share kisses at every corner, hearts in sync as they outwardly express their affection. The lovelorn boy knew him and Estinien did that in the dark, behind closed doors, and he _ did _ feel the sparks that lovers do, but the truth still burned. He wanted to go on a date with Estinien, desperately dreaming he’d hold his hand and hug him in broad daylight. And, _ Gods, _ did he want to kiss Estinien in the middle of the day, letting everyone know that he was his _ — _ that they were together _ — _

_ But they weren’t together. _

“_Whatever _. Y’shtola’s recipe seems easy enough to follow, but still, we keep messing up! This chocolate won’t harden!”

“To be fair, it is Matoya’s recipe she graciously gave us. I’m surprised it didn’t call for anything… _exotic. _ Perhaps if we call her she’ll point us in the right direction.”

“Y’shtola free on Valentione’s Day? Ha! She’s probably hiding from all her suitors. Or maybe she’s out with Thancred, who knows?”

“She’s not,” Alphinaud answered, “She told me Thancred decided to spend the day with Urianger_ — _ a _bachelor’s day _, or something like that.”

“Oh, our dear Urianger. Hopefully he won’t get dragged into _ too _ much nonsense. I didn’t think they were _that _close.”

“Apparently they’ve become close friends since the Starlight party. I think it’s wonderful. Urianger needs more friends and Thancred is quite the specimen for him to probe. I think he’s one of the few people who could break through Urianger’s shell.”

“If you say so,” Alisaie shrugged, “Anyway, let’s call Y’sthola. We need to get these done before my_ — _”

She caught herself from saying the forbidden word, her twin having to cover his mouth to avoid laughing in her face. They stood in silence for a moment as her face burned with embarrassment as Alphinaud gave in and crackled with laughter. Before she could get mad he waved it off, deciding to retrieve the phone. As much as his brotherly instincts wanted to give Alisaie a taste of her own medicine, he knew it was a special day for her. Lyse randomly asked to spend Valentione's with her and for a week Alisaie panicked over what it all meant. She concluded it was just a _ friendly _ date, but still shook with the nervous excitement of what could happen. Her confidence wavered as the day approached, however, and now that it’s arrived Alisaie tried to remain positive about it. Alphinaud knew it was false bravado, so he tried to be sensitive about her feelings. She was still upset when Alphinaud returned, but appreciated him dropping it as he dialed Y’shtola. The two listened to her words of wisdom as she guided them through the process, realizing they’ve been tempering the chocolate incorrectly. They managed to move past that bump, each twin finally able to make a batch designed for their _ special _ person. Y’shtola wished them the best as the two placed their creations into the freezer to chill.

“You know, I’m quite surprised _he _wanted to celebrate Valentione’s with you.”

“We’re not _celebrating _. I told him you’d be gone from the house. He saw an opportunity and took it.”

“_Disgusting_.” Alisaie spat.

“What? You can’t really fault him, now can you?”

“_Whatever. _ Just… keep it in your room _ — _ and be safe with _it_.”

Alphinaud simply groaned at her advice, not wanting to engage the topic further. The two finally separated as they decided to prepare for their evening plans. They reconvened to check on the chocolate bonbons they created, happy to find the chocolate shells set properly and even more so when they tasted absolutely delightful. With the materials prepared, they filled the boxes up with them. Alisaie went for the traditional red heartshaped box that had light gold accents to it (she reasoned it reminded her of Lyse’s hair). Alphinaud, on the other hand, pulled back from getting a heart, as to not overwhelm Estinien, and chose a simple blue box that he’d tie with a silver ribbon. They continued to prepare for their plans after finishing with their boxes. The hour for Alisaie to leave was fast approaching, and she made last-minute adjustments to her appearance. She eventually stood before her brother, presenting herself for his judgment.

“Wow, Alisaie. You look beautiful.”

“_Shut up.” _ She hissed as she fixed her hair.

“I mean it. _ You look fine! _ You should get going before you get cold feet,” Alphinaud began, “I know you’ll have a wonderful time, Alisaie. But, if the opportunity arises, _ maybe _ you should be honest with your feelings _ — _”

“_Alphinaud.” _

“What? I believe this is the best time. Of course, only do it if you feel comfortable. At the minimum, I expect affection handholding to happen at least once today.”

“You’re an idiot.” She halfheartedly commented before going in for a hug, “have a… _ nice... _ time with Estinien.”

Alphinaud brushed off the comment, smiling as he waved his sister off. He then turned back inside to focus on his own final adjustments.

♡♡♡

Alisaie’s fingers periodically ran along her braid, desperately searching for a knot or loose hair. When they weren’t investigating her perfect hair they were adjusting her pristine clothing. She was paranoid that something was out of place while on her way to meet up with Lyse. Her paranoia extended to her makeup, fearing that she may have put on a little too much. While her mind drowned in her insecurities, her other hand was occupied with securing the delivery of the precious sweets within the box. She picked up her pace, heels clacking as the bottom of her skirt swayed over her thigh in sync with the purse dangling on her arm. Even as the sun started it’s descent her hair brilliantly shined from the extra oils she put in. She shoved her way past happy couples, quietly apologizing as she darted toward the park. She didn’t even need to catch her breath as she arrived just in the knick of time, her _ date _ already there.

“_Lyse!” _ Alisaie exclaimed, immediately losing her breath as the girl turned, her red dress flowing from the motion. “ _ W-Wow _ , uh, you look… _ amazing.” _

Lyse laughed, “Hello to you too, Alisaie. You also look amazing!”

With the pleasantries over, the two girls stood at the park as an awkward breeze danced past them. Alisaie hesitated to go in for the hug_ — _something they’ve done almost every time they saw each other. Lyse hadn’t moved at all, so the two just stared at each other. They noticed the heart-shaped boxes in their hands, looking at each other before laughing. From there they finally hugged, nurturing a flame between their bodies as the wind continued to swirl around them.

“Well, Alisaie, Happy Valentione’s Day!” Lyse said as they settled down on a bench nearby. She held out the small pink box of chocolates to Alisaie, “I tried my hand at making them. Please know that I didn’t mean to poison you, but I’m afraid that may be the case with these.”

Alisaie smirked, “Oh please. I doubt mine are any better, but… I do hope you like them. Happy Valentione’s, Lyse.” She held out her own box, the two successfully trading their lovely offerings.

“The box is so pretty Alisaie. I’ll feel bad for having to untie the ribbon.”

Alisaie snapped her head as she already tore her way into Lyse’s box, flushing with chocolate in her mouth. “It’s… perfectly okay, Lyse. I can retie it later.”

“It’s fine, Alisaie. Is it good…?” She asked, referring to the chocolate in her mouth.”

“Of course! They’re_ perfect_.” Alisaie ate two more to prove her statements against Lyse’s doubtful look. She had a habit of being a messy eater, which showed when some chocolate smeared over her lips, smudging some of her lipstick. Lyse cocked her head in absolute delight before wiping the chocolate stain off her lips. She immediately gasped, face darkening as Lyse chuckled. “W-What was that for?”

“You enjoyed them so much they got on your lips.” She explained, winking before licking it off her finger. Alisaie’s face distorted in utter humiliation. “You ought to eat slower, Alisaie. But I’m glad you like them. And, sorry for messing up your lipstick.”

Alisaie immediately shook off the apology, reassuring that she could fix it. Lyse gripped her thigh for a moment in understanding, still guilty for teasing her and making her reapply the red color. She decided to get into Alisaie’s box, humming as she popped a bonbon in her mouth. The two fell into a comfortable silence with Lyse continuing to eat as Alisaie finished touching up. They both observed how alive the park was with all the couples spending time together. Alisaie shifted uncomfortably, feeling that she and Lyse were out of place. But then again, it was common for friends to celebrate Valentione’s together. Lyse immediately noticed her scowl as she closed Alisaie’s box to save her gift for later.

“I’m glad you agreed to spend today with me. I was worried you wouldn’t want to.”

“Worried? Lyse, you’re the only person I would spend it with. But you should've spent today with your sister. How is Yda?”

“She’s good! She’s making a lot of progress. The other day she walked without my help!”

“That’s amazing, Lyse! It’s been a while since I visited. I hope she isn’t too mad...”

“Oh yeah, expect hell for it!” Lyse paused. “But she was very happy when I told her we were going out today. She wished us luck on our date!”

“_Luck _ ? On our… _date _?” Alisaie repeated, blindsided by the word escaping her lips.

“I know, right? What could she possibly expect to go wrong?”

Alisaie could only smile at the question. Her usual nonchalance comforted her but left her at a crossroads of sorts. It was more than clear she liked Lyse since every single one of their friends knew except the girl herself. Alisaie figured she must’ve had some knowledge of her feelings as she was never one to hide them completely. The part of her that reasoned Lyse knew burned in agitation over the possibility of being lead on. She told Alphinaud to engage Estinien instead of letting that greasy boy string him along and look at them now. Of course, she was happy for them and whatever they call their thing (Alisaie firmly believed they were boyfriends but _ whatever _ ), yet, she was just a tad jealous. Aphinaud was with the boy he met at the beginning of the school year _ — _ his former bully for Heaven’s sake! Every time she sees, or even thinks of, Alphinaud and Estinien, she gets frustrated that she hadn’t followed her own advice. Now here she is, trapped in this grey area with the girl she’s known for years while her twin is happily in love with the neighborhood bad boy. She thought she was fine with remaining as friends, but sitting next to Lyse reminded her that she never was okay with it. _ She couldn’t be okay with it _. It wasn’t as if truly believed Lyse would end their friendship because of it, yet, Alisaie feared rejection more than anything. 

She understood that between them, Lyse was the only one who could decide their relationship’s fate. 

The small girl mulled over this as Lyse decided it was time for them to make their way to their reservation at a restaurant on the other side of town. As if to further punish her, Lyse interlocked their arms, forcing their bodies closer as they strolled through the park. Despite her mood deteriorating, Lyse’s enthusiasm for Valentione’s Day recovered her spirit and had her smiling as they enjoyed their date. Not even the waiter flirting with Lyse ruined their time (despite Alisaie cursing him to the deepest hell, Lyse was on a date with _ her _ and not him). However, It took one glance at her surroundings to have Alisaie spiral down another series of negative thoughts. The couple next to her were holding hands across the table, staring at each other with nothing but love in their eyes. A quick glance away led her to another couple who were intimately sharing food. She saw another pair kissing in a booth next to them. She then remembered Alphinaud, and how he and Estinin were probably tumbling under the covers, exploring all aspects of love. It reminded her of what she desperately wanted, and as she looked at Lyse in the eyes, she desperately searched for the love everyone around her had. Her hand balled into a fist that only tightened after they left. She couldn’t let go of her frustration as Lyse dragged her along, struggling to smile every time she looked at her. As the moon loomed overhead, her thoughts got darker as she felt animosity toward the holiday and the couples celebrating it. They were happy and she wasn’t. They were blissfully in love_—and she wasn’t _.

“_Lyse _ .” Alisaie planted her heels at the entrance of the park. They’ve walked for hours around town, and she had spent each minute contemplating her course of action. She couldn’t _ —wouldn’t— _ allow herself to act like the fools she scourged. She hated this passivity she forced herself into, biting her tongue because she was _ scared. _She was known for her fearlessness, unafraid of doing or saying whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. She never wanted to feel like this again, so she steeled her gaze as prepared for the worse.

“Yes?” Lyse turned around.

“Lyse. I like you.”

“I like you too, Alisaie!”

“No, Lyse, I _like _you.” Alisaie gulped when it was clear the message wasn’t getting across, so she threw caution to the wind and blurted out, “I’m in love with you. _ Romantically _ . You know, more than friends _ — _like, I want you to be my girlfriend, maybe, if you want...”

“Wow. That was… quite the confession, huh?” It took a while for Lyse to cut the tension with an innocent laugh. By no means was she mocking her, in fact, she was flattered by her honesty. She simply stood as if she was ready for a battle with her shoulders squared and hands in tight fists, but her face was an assortment of red, her blue eyes vibrant against the warmth as the moon shined on them. Realizing her laugh did more harm than good, Lyse softened her expression and smiled. “_Alisaie _ . Thank you for telling me. I think a part of me knew but I couldn’t be too sure and, well, I’m happy to know I wasn’t imagining things. And I do love you too, _ but _… I’ve always considered you as a sister. I... can’t say I’ve ever thought about being with a girl before but.. you are special, Alisaie.”

“What does that mean, Lyse?_ I’m special _ ? You can’t be vague like that_—_!”

“_—_I’m sorry, Alisaie. You mean a lot to me_—_more than most people in my life. You’re just so important to me and… I don’t want to rush into things. I… I need time to think, that’s all. To be honest, I used this day to test the water and... and I fear I’ve led you on without considering your feelings. I’m so sorry_—_”

“_Don’t apologize. _ You shouldn’t feel bad about expressing your feelings. It’s not like I’ll force you to… be with me in _that_ way, or that I’ll sever all ties with you if you don’t reciprocate them. You mean a lot to me too, Lyse, and I… value our friendship more than my little crush.”

“Oh, Alisaie…” Lyse sighed, her smile turned sad. She gripped her best friend’s shoulder, witnessing her blue eyes drowning in sadness. “If another girl catches your eye, Alisaie, _ please _, go after her. Don’t wait for me okay? I’m not worth that kind of thing, and honestly, you don’t deserve this treatment. I wish I wasn’t such a jerk, but I just need to consider a few things.”

Alisaie opened her mouth to argue over her patience how she wasn’t a jerk but was quickly silenced by the tight hug Lyse trapped her in. She couldn’t help but laugh as it became awkward, causing Lyse to giggle at how serious both were. They were full of smiles when they broke away_ — _genuinely happy that they would be together, romantically or not. 

“I really do love you, Alisaie.”

“I love you too, Lyse.”

Unfortunately, they’d have to wait outside the gates of their paradise for a while longer. Lyse wouldn’t want to drop the key through her nervous fingers as Alisaie didn’t want to shatter it with her eager grip. They had a love for each other and, finally, they planted a tiny seedling that night. Now, all they had to do was wait and pray for a fortuitous harvest. If the were able to read the stars, however, they’d find they have no reason for worrying. And, as the fates would have it, they’d be able to practice their star reading that night. Their date had come to an end, so they proceeded to cut through the park to head home, hands interlocked as they arrived at the center of the park. The gaudy decorations of the holiday illuminating the open area, yet, they paled against the shine of two earthly stars in the form of two boys.

“Hey, isn’t that Alphinaud and... _Estinien?"_

“Huh_ — _? Oh, good gods.” Alisaie muttered as she saw her idiot brother and his stupid boyfriend making out in front of the fountain. They were quite the spectacle, as others seemed to notice and eye them in a mix of awe and envy. Alisaie had to cover her face in shame as Lyse beamed with pride. Like two mothers, they were happy for Alphinaud but worried over the attention they were garnering. 

And as shadows crept into the night, the two girls never once split their hands as they watched over the two lovebirds.

♡♡♡

“Estinien!”

Estinien simply grunted at the boy’s smile before he was caught in a tight hug. His eye twitched as the boy pressed against his stomach. Heat immediately surged within as he suspended his brooding to pat Alphinaud's head. Estinien was notorious for hating Valentione’s Day, finding it as nothing more than a cheap exploit of love. Now, by no means was Estinien an emissary of ardor_ — _ he couldn’t give a qiqirn’s ass about the holiday or romance. He was more irked by how this day gave people a pass for grotesque displays of public affection. He’d rather die than risk a walk down any of the main roads. This year, however, would be an exception for Estinien to risk leaving his home: he had someone to spend Valentione’s with. He always dreads the arrival of this day, but this year his dread began _ weeks _ in advance. He had Alphinaud now and didn’t know what to do. Did he have to buy him a gift? Was he required to express his _ feelings _ to the boy? Were they supposed to support the economy and waste Gil on an overpriced meal? He was quickly overwhelmed by what he should do for him. They weren’t even boyfriends, but Estinien wasn’t foolish enough to deny his feelings and toss him aside as nothing more than someone to mess around with. Alphinaud wormed his way into his cold heart and breathed life into dormant emotions he would never have known he could feel. 

“Thank you for coming_ — _ah, H-Happy Valentione's Day!” Alphinaud chirped before pulling away. He turned his head slightly as he warmly smiled at him. He was absolutely radiant.

“Happy… Valentione's, Alphinaud.” 

Blinded by Alphinaud’s grace, he was lead into the home. Before he knew it, the boy stood before him with a box extended. Estinien defaulted to narrowing his eyes as he observed Alphinaud’s movements. He was accidentally glaring at Alphinaud, who had thought he made a fatal mistake of getting him a gift. He turned red, hiding his face behind the box of chocolates.

“I… made you chocolates… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have but I… I’m sorry.” Alphinaud dropped his hands as he apologized, the box pathetically dangling in front of him as he looked ashamed.

“_It’s fine _ . Give them to me,” Estinien practically ordered as he stepped forward and reached out his hand. Alphinaud looked up through his bangs, unable to decipher the serious look Estinien had. He did what he was told, however, and slowly passed on the box to him. Estinien carefully observed it, still unfamiliar with the concept of presents. He gave in and decided to tear it open. He didn’t mean to offend Alphianud _ — _ he did appreciate the craftwork and designs _ — _he simply wanted to see what was inside, which, as Alphinaud spoiled, were little chocolates in perfect formation. Without hesitation, he popped one in his mouth. The room was tense for a moment before Estinien shrugged. “They’re good. You made them?”

Alphinaud nodded quickly as Estinien ate another one, humming his delight. The boy’s nerves washed away all at once because of Estinien’s approval, grinning as he closed the box to stop himself from eating more.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Estinien. I’m… glad you like them.” Alphinaud spoke softly, a quiet laugh following as he was completely overjoyed. The sappy romance of the day had begun, so Estinien caved in and gave Alphinaud a tender kiss_ — _ the first of many this Valentione’s Day. The two got lost in each other’s mouth as Estinien gripped on to him with ferocity as Alphinaud comically raised a leg at being kissed senselessly. As they would have it, they tumbled to the couch _ — _ Estinien barely holding on to the box in the hand as they felt the effects of ardor weigh heavily on them. And as much as Estinien would have _ loved _ to experiment it’s full effects right then and there, he had something that just became a requirement for him to do.

“_Alphinaud _.” Estinien groaned as he broke the kiss, Alphinaud pouting at the loss as he tried to resume the kiss only to be denied, “Wait a moment, pipsqueak. Do you still have the little charm I got you?”

“Y-Yes. It’s in my room_ — _should I get it?” Alphinaud asked, eyes wide in wonder as he was but a moment away from running to retrieve the charm he kept on the nightstand beside his bed when at home.

“No. In fact, toss that one.” Estinien began, Alphinaud at a loss of what he meant as the tall boy sat up, settling Alphinaud on his lap, “I know you’re one for deeper meanings to the most frivolous of things, and that you believe that cheap charm _ protects _ you or whatever. So… I got you something to _really _keep you safe.”

Alphinaud cocked his head as Estinien shuffled to reach into his pocket and take out the said object of protection. His hand obscured it from Alphinaud until Estinien opened his palm, strictly looking at the boy’s face to see how he’d react. He observed the boy’s eyes widen as his pupils dashed side-to-side, his lips parting to show his teeth. Estinien held his breath in anticipation as the boy finally assessed the object in his palm. 

“A… _knife? _” 

“Mhm. It's one of mine but I figured you needed it. I’ve never had to use it, and I hope you never have to. It's... something of mine for you to have and to keep, or whatever they say.”

Alphinaud hesitated for a moment before his small hand took the knife, raising it to his face. Estinien showed him how to unsheath the blade_ — _ only a small twist and the silver blade glistened before him. He noticed what seemed like twin dragons intertwined in a spiral etched unto the blade. At first, Alphinaud didn’t like the implications that it had _ — _ that Estinien still saw himself as a threat to his safety. Alphinaud wanted to slap that mentality out of him, to tell him that he feels the safest in his arms. But he resisted, deciding to show his feelings by accepting the gift. Honestly, he loved it, and as Estinien said, it was something of his that now belonged to him. He smiled before his eyes darted to meet Estinien’s, who’ve been watching him the entire time, “Thank you, Estinien. It’s… _beautiful_. I’ll make sure to keep it close and treasure it.”

“_Yeah, yeah, _whatever… I’ll teach you some tricks, how to properly handle it and all. Some self-defense too.”

“Thank you, Estinien. Though, I’m not sure I can bring this to school.”

“_ Pfft _ . No one will notice unless you tell them. I _always _carry a weapon. Well, almost always.” Estinien admitted, remembering the night at the park.

Alphinaud was concerned by that statement but knew Estinien wouldn’t harm anyone unless they wanted to hurt him first. Estinien really is the best, Alphinaud thought, and in his quite praise he sheathed the blade before hugging the boy, head buried into the crook of his neck. Estinien closed his eyes and hugged back, happy he caved in and gave the boy something for this cursed holiday. a

“Thank you, again. You didn’t have to get me such a thoughtful present, but you did.” Alphinaud said as he pulled away, keeping his arms wrapped around Estinien’s neck

“I told you, I owe you for the present you got me for Starlight, which, you’ll find on my body at the moment. Check for yourself if you must.” Estinien ended with a grin, inciting both of them to chuckle at the implication. Alphinaud considered taking him up on the offer, leaning down to give him a devious little kiss as they once again fell to the influence of Valentione’s Day. They reveled in each other’s passion for the other, finding their bodies expressed their fondness better than their words could.

“You know, this holiday isn’t quite as bad as I imagined.” Estinien quipped as they pulled away for a break.

Alphinaud chuckled before dropping his gaze to their laps. The same feeling overcame him: he saw an opportunity to take a risk and jab at the nature of their relationship. He couldn’t help but test the waters, something he seemed to have a knack for despite being unable to swim. “You know… we’re acting like quite the couple. I’m afraid the fervor of Valentione’s infected us.”

Estinien let out a laugh, “Well, Alisaie seems to accept me as your boyfriend. Might as well play the role given to me, am I right?”

Alphinaud’s smile distorted a little, his senses hit with confusion over how he should feel about the statement. Again, he knew they wouldn’t be boyfriends going into this, but Estinien happily acted like it, but it was a joke? He took into consideration that Estinien was, for all intents and purposes, flirting, but still… did he feel pressured to be romantic with him? Was he simply _ acting _in such a way to appease the desperate boy? Or was it a ploy to hasten their sexual indulgence? The threat of these thoughts lasted until Estinien gave him a sweet kiss, once again, doing the right thing at the right time to have Alphinaud back in his arms.

“You’re thinking too hard. What did I do this time?”

“_Estinien—“ _

“Say it, Alphinaud. What’s bothering you?”

The boy bit his lips as he stared at Estinien. He didn’t want to tell him—he didn’t want to ruin Valentione’s for them—but Estinien’s piercing gaze was too much for him, “Estinien, I’m sorry—you’ll get mad—“

“I’ll only get mad if it’s stupid.”

“_It’s __stupid.” _

“I’m sure it isn’t.”

“Please, Estinien, I’m just being a big idiot. Let’s ignore it and move—“

“_Alphinaud _.”

“_Estinien.” _

The two had a staredown as neither wanted to yield to the other. Both unimaginably stubborn, it took a while for either one to show signs of giving in. Alphinaud didn’t want to be dramatic and cry on Valentione’s and knew it’d ruin the day, but Estinien wouldn't let this go until he knew. so he swallowed his pride and he shook in frustration before expressing himself.

“Estinien, I like you, okay. I_ really_ like you…”

“yes…?” Estinien inquired further, raising his ear as he bid the boy to continue. Alphinaud gulped, eyes closed before opening them to Estinien. He was foolish to think he could repress his emotions_ — _that he could hide something once Estinien got a whiff of it.

“Estinien I… I have feelings for you_ . _ _ Strong feelings and I…” _ It came out all at once, “I want you to be my boyfriend, Estinien... I-I don’t need the charm or the knife, Estinien, all I need is you. B-But you cant be with me in the way I want. I hate feeling like it’s a secret, that it’s not… _ real _ . Because my feelings are real Estinien, and it hurts that I can’t express them the way I want to—_the way I deserve to_. I… I want to be with you, but I’m not sure I can do this if you don’t feel the same. Gods, I’m sorry, Estinien, _ I’m so sorry _ , but I don’t want this to be one-sided _ —” _

“You think it’s one-sided? That_ I _don’t have feelings for you too? Godsdamn Alphinaud, how stupid can you be? Of course I have feelings for you. Do you think I _ want _ to keep it a secret? I have to because I don’t want you to get hurt because I like you. I know I shouldn’t have started this, but, _dammit, _ I’m selfish. I couldn’t give you up, Alphinaud—_I want you to be with me_.”

Alphinaud swore he wouldn’t cry on Valentione’s Day, whether it be happy or sad tears. But at that moment he felt overwhelmed by both. His voice cracked as he quietly begged Estinien to hold him. He forcibly dug himself into the man’s body in an attempt to be closer to him. Heck, he almost said, “I love you” then and there. The two whimpered into each other as they held each other. Estinien swore he wouldn’t make the boy sad today, but here he went a failed. He truly believed himself to be a foul person, constantly hurting the people around him. However, he was more selfish than anything, knowing that he couldn’t willingly give up Alphinaud. All he wanted was to make Alphinaud smile, as impossible as it seemed. But, he would never give up and knew what the boy wanted.

“I’ll probably find some way to regret this later but... do you want to go on a date tonight?”

“What?” gasped the boy as he pulled away, bewildered as he stared at Estinien like a madman. “A-Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure.”

Alphinaud couldn’t believe his ears. He stared at his Valentione’s in utter disbelief. Only when Estinien slightly turned his head and focus his eyes did Alphinaud know he truly meant it. He cracked his widest smile, flashing teeth as he pounced on the tall boy. Unable to contain his jubilance, he planted kisses all over Estinien’s face. Each one penetrated the tough exterior of Estinien’s armor, defeating him as he burst with laughter. They rolled around, each fighting to be on top of the other until Estinien fought his way to finally pin the boy down. Both were out of breath but never once stopped smiling, their eyes entwined in a dance of affection, 

_ A dance of love_.

And in the spirit of Valentione’s, Estinien decided he’d go against it all and listen to his heart. He found it easy to toss aside his pride as with a whisper, he claimed Alphinaud as his own:

“Alphinaud… will you be my boyfriend?” 

♡♡♡

A starlit galaxy watched over them as they took their first steps into what felt like paradise. As expected, the first steps were shaky, uncertain in which direction to go, how close to should walk next to each other, whether they should they hold hands or not. The first group of people they saw freaked them out, the two immediately creating distance to hide their association. It took a moment for them to reunite, looking at each other for a hint of regret in their choice. When they saw none, they continued to their destination: a cute little restaurant by the park. As expected, it was full to the last seat, with a small line of couples willing to wait. Estinien was annoyed, and as such, wanted to storm off. It only took Alphinaud’s small hand gripping his arm to relax the boy, relying on his presence to calm him down and wait to be seated.

It felt like a romantic movie. A _ very _ comedic one. Out of the blue, they lost their ability to speak full sentences and stuttered every other word. They periodically analyzed their surroundings, paranoid that someone from school _ — _ or worse, a member of Nidhogg _ — _ would see them. Despite these anxieties, they managed to enjoy their time together. Once their "romantic" dinner was served around the candlelight, the two managed to enjoy each other comfortably. They escaped into their own world, flirting with their eyes as they lightly grazed their feet under the table. They felt… _ risky. _ They were bold enough to step out in public, among all the happy couples on a day that celebrated affection, passion, and _love. _

Just before they left, a hostess wished the _couple _a happy Valentione’s Day. Outside the doors the two had to stop, looking at each other as her blessing lingered in their mind. Despite the night sky looming above, the streets were still crowded, and under the moonlight, they shined like stars. Their silver hair glistened as their eyes radiated with a gleam reflective of their deep blue color. They looked ethereal with the moon shining upon them, their lips curled into wide smiles as if they were hiding a secret only they knew. They _ are _boyfriends, after all. They could do what only other couples do. Even if only for a night, they could be together in the way they’ve dreamed about. And it wouldn’t be the only dream come true as they linked their hands, forcing others to make space for them. They paved two parallel streams of people as they walked side-by-side, absolutely smitten as Alphinaud became what he dreamed of and Estinien turned into what he dreaded most: a passionate romantic.

It was obvious to see that both were very happy. In fact, both were _ very _ much in love.

The venders aligning the streets offering trinkets to represent one’s feelings immediately noticed them. They tried to ignore their bargains, but Alphinaud caved in and accepted an offering of a rose, picking a blue one from the assortment of colors. He could’ve gone for the traditional red or a more vibrant color but the blue felt right despite it lacking the intensity of warm colors. It was a color associated with sadness, yes, but so was their journey to paradise. They wouldn’t disregard the sorrow they experienced now that they were at what felt like the gates of Eden. Instead, Alphinaud chose to keep it in memory as if to remind him what it felt like to be without Estinien. He offered it to his boyfriend, who accepted it with an iron fist despite his annoyance. With the key in their hands, they were ready to unlock the gates. 

Love can never be what you want it to be, but no matter what Alphinaud would follow his heart_—follow Estinien_. As admirable as it was, Alphinaud was soon put to the test. Estinien felt the small hand tighten its grip as they entered the now-infamous park. The buzz of people filled their ears as they walked around, but he knew it’s capacity wasn’t what overwhelmed the boy. He matched his intensity as he held his hand, long fingers wrapping around the trembling fist. Estinien brought them to a halt at the park’s center, taking time to observe the flower in his other hand while Alphinaud looked at him curiously.

“We can go somewhere else.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, Estinien.” The boy laughed nervously, sighing as Estinien gave him the side-eye at his terrible lie. “I haven’t been here since… _ that night _ . But, I’m alright now, I think. It looks so different with the seasonal decor and, well, _ you’re here, so… _”

“And I was here the first time, pipsqueak. I shouldn’t have brought you here. Let’s go—“

“_ Estinien _. I can’t keep avoiding this place because of that night. Yes, it was one of the most frightening things to happen to me and I still think about it but… but that night also let me see the light inside you, Estinien. And since then I’ve seen you grow brighter. In a way, I’m grateful it happened. And, now that you’re here with me I’d like to fill this place with happier memories.” Alphinaud finished with a smile, fully grabbing Estinien’s attention from the flower. 

The dance between their eyes resumed as Estinien couldn't help but smiled at the boy. Alphinaud had unlocked this part of him that he used to be scared of_ — _ the swirling emotions swirling he desperately tried to repress. But Alphinaud guided him out of that storm, showing him that redemption is possible. He didn’t have to rely on anger anymore. His true strength lies within the love Alphinaud showed him—_the love he gave him_. To think a day existed where Estinien believed a fledgling love would become his greatest strength. And with it, he shut the world out of their paradise as he softly cupped Alphinaud’s cheek. Only the sound of the fountain and shuffling of the glistening flora could be heard while passersby barely noticed them until Alphinaud gripped onto Estinien’s shirt while standing on his toes. Eventually, he wrapped his arms around his neck as Estinien properly embraced him. They kissed with the stars and moon blessing them, their constellation burning as they welcomed heaven onto the planet. Even if it was only within their garden of glass, no one looking in could fathom the love that flourished between them.

They rooted themselves in that park, asserting that their relationship would thrive. The fountain sang for their union as the plants cheered them on with the wind dancing around—even the jealous pests celebrated their entry into Eden. They were free of the fear to love_ — _even the watchful gaze of a demon viper did nothing to wither them. And when the sun rises they’d reap the fruits of their blessed harvest and fight to protect it from intruders. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... really tried... to get this out... on Valentine's day.... but.... that didn't happen..... :^(  
Even though it's late, I hope you enjoyed the Valentione's chapter of Stargazer.  
I appreciate all the support for this story! Thank you for reading!!


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